not the onion
thanks to lacey for the link...
i must start off with a hearty congratulations to the omarphillips.net family on their new arrival. i can't wait for the day when she breaks his heart by not having any interest in lawncare. but until then, enjoy your new little girl!
so we went to this new "hot" italian place tonight. and we got hooked up, big because the owner used to make inappropriate advances towards a friend (she, it turns out, was one of half a dozen female staff members at the restaurant at which they used to work together who didn't sleep with him).
"jasmine, i wanted to tell you if i didn't, that i really like your
i wasn't sure to make of this. i haven't lost much weight (if any)
since i saw them at christmas but i, apparently, looked like shit.
i will note, however, that my mother and my aunt are both fairly heavy
(think hefty/burly german women). and my grandma is pretty thin (and
quite conceited). she speaks frequently of being only 89lbs when she
was married which isn't possible since she's 5'6" and i've seen
pictures and she doesn't look anorexic in them and she'd have to be
like "ethiopian starving" thin to be that size at her height. so maybe
she's desperately afraid that i'll blow up or something in adulthood.
well, maybe the half-chinese part of me will keep me normal looking.
also, the gym.
but anyway, weird message. but i've never argued that my grandmothers
behavior approaches anything that resembles "sane".
chicago was fine. a whole lot of sitting around doing nothing, which
i showed off the jesus phone to everyone, introducing him as my new
re: the grandparents...i zoomed in on the map to show my grandparents
the roof of their house and my grandfathers car parked in the driveway
and they didn't once scream at me to get out of their house lest the
satellite hear our conversation and steal their identities. (it always
boggles my mind that #1 fear of old people = identity theft since
they've likely never touched a computer or put their personal
information in any place where someone could hack and steal it.) they
also didn't cower in fear of their first sight of the internet (wheel
of fortune's website) or the fact that it played music.
i mentioned my summer share with emily and her fiancee and my grandma
says, "oh, you have a fiancee?" as if that's the way i'd choose to
tell them i was engaged. over a nonchalant conversation over beach
and just to spite them i wore my "barack the vote" t-shirt. my grandma
mentioned it and i said, "listen, i know you all hate him but i like
him a lot." my grandpa's response, "we don't hate him, we just don't
like any of them." i saw that as major progress from the time that i
bought my grandfather obama's grammy-winning audiobook just to have
him say, "jasmine, you have no idea how much we have to hear about
him. i'm sick of him!"
you're welcome grandpa! anytime! glad you like it!
we also had a conversation about healthcare, in which i discussed a
slightly perilous situation i've found myself in and how annoying the
system is. they complained about medicare and we talked about the
goodness of universal healthcare without me mentioning that it's a
regular part of the democratic platform. i had them nodding their
heads in agreement as i discussed the finer points of the canadian
system. there may be hope yet that i'll trick them into joining me
over on the left where they belong!
i also got som fab clothes at the rack (a hot hot ruffled wrap dress
in teal from DVF for $100).
also, debate sucked ass. wtf with the shittiest moderating i've ever seen. 50 minutes to get to iraq? and were the hell was healthcare? i hate people.
you let the kids in the hall do a show while i'm in chicago! nooooo!!!
the weekend started off tamely enough, a kirov ballet performance with al, home by 11.
i've knocked the hamptons a lot. and people who spend time in the
and now i'm a hypocrite.
emily sends over 15 pictures of this stunning house that the partners
of her fiancee's hedge fun have bought for the summer. then he tells
her to invite her friends for the paltry sum of 1500 for the summer.
to some, that may sound like a lot of money. to put things in
perspective: the house is renting at 10K a WEEK for the entire summer.
most people who buy into shitty hamptons shares for half the summer
(every other weekend) will pay at least 5K. this old dude is telling
em that we can come out for 1500. it's insane. and although 1500 is
still a lot of money, it amounts to mini vacations to the beach every
weekend with emily who is one of my best friends and i wouldn't want
to be stuck in the city without her all summer.
what this also means, is that i'm, yet again, playing the geisha girl.
emily's friends will serve as the "young hot mostly naked" woman
quotient and the partners can feel better about themselves for having
us around. they can impress their friends with the quality of the
boobage sunning near the pool.
does that make me feel cheap? a little. do i care much at this point?
went to an event that had nothing but glenlivet. i'm a little girl who doesn't drink much hard alcohol but i can handle some scotch on the rocks once in a while.
my name is jasmine and i'm a snob.
Paris was great. Our hosts, and just about the best/cutest/most awesome couple to have ever lived, made this trip more than lovely. Above is the breakfast waiting for us when we arrived. The tequila we waited on till evening but it certainly took some restraint to hold off.
We did lots of touristy stuff which was ideal as it kept me away from the boutiques. Also, the dollar isn't worth the lint I picked out of my jeans pocket this morning. There was a wi fi connection near notre dame, hence the emailed photo post on sat.
Wine was drunk, harricot verts were roasted, espresso served, good conversation and lots of laughs were had in a cozy third arrondissment apt.
Now that's joie de vivre...
if you're going to fall for every single lame april fool's joke online
it makes you look like an idiot.
i'm getting of the subway and i see an M23 bus which i need to take
it was a nice gesture, but i felt it spoke a larger message about the
state of kindness in this city. was his offer an attempt to spread the
word that kindness does really pay? i suppose everyone was guaranteed
a reward for returning lost items, people would actually make an
effort to find homes for things they've found. on the other hand,
isn't it sad that some people don't feel kindness and honesty can
still be found for free these days?
but then there are the people who will inevitably feel like they
deserve a cash reward for unsolicited help. those who find cell phones
in the back of cabs and want to know what they'll get in return if
they return the phone.
i, for one, felt that the deed itself was a good enough reward for me,
i was content in my kindness. and then i heard, "third avenue next"
and realized i'd gotten on the bus headed the opposite direction from
where i needed to be. doh!