nica, cat, taxes.

ever find yourself thinking, "oh, it's so cute that that guy remembered what i said about X" and then remember that such a thing is just called, "listening" and that it shouldn't be so impressive?

i'm not really a cat person. but i'm a choire person. and choire lost his cat. a cat that he talks about and features often on his tumblr. and, sadly, cat has passed. and, though i've never met cat, i felt a bit mopey about this. i offered to send choire a new york feel better basket but his hubby is in the city anyway and then we just discussed what he should have him bring back. so i guess i'm off the hook for gift basket duty?

but as i was roaming through tumblr looking for more cat, i found this: http://bloggingheads.tv/diavlogs/32479 -- which i missed whilst traipsing through SE asia -- with seth looking particularly dapper and otherwise sounding crazy because he's speaking like he writes, which he doesn't so much do in person. or, at least, not to the extent that it regularly kills conversation like it does here in this bloggingheads?

had been hiding from my w-2s. those months of unemployment and scattered varied checks from the writing gigs, and thinking about how to expense what when i basically have two different careers? all these things were giving me cold sweats. hiding also WASN'T SOLVING MY PROBLEM. so i fucking did my fucking taxes and, HEY! i'm getting money back? not sure how this happens. but I'LL TAKE IT. i didn't expense nearly as much as i could have but i'm not feeling like i want to walk that line that trips an audit. i'm smart like that.

nicaragua was a dream. we stayed on an eco-farm and drank the most amazing coffee that had been grown on the farm and roasted that morning and then we'd put milk in our coffee that had been taken from cows and boiled that morning, etc. it was non-stop rustic luxury. perfect. lovely. sunsets that rivaled those we saw in kenya.

oscar party tonight. dirk has promised a gluten-free weight watcher compliant meal. i love when other people force me to eat better than i'd be in otherwise inclined to eat. that's not to say i won't still drink a full bottle of wine by myself, mind you.

LCD Soundsystem

so LCD Soundsystem announced their last concert. i think being famous just isn't really fun for james murphy, who is friends with aziz ansari and david chang so i'm obviously obsessed with him by default, just about. but anyway, fucking ticketmaster sold half their tickets to the scalpers at stubhub and whatever other ticket companies (one is a parent company, even?) and nobody got any. nobody who was a real fan seemed to get any.

 

then they tweeted: folks: maybe don't buy ANY resell tickets for at least 48 hours? give me/us that much time to try to figure something out. #workingonit

 

then james posted (maybe to his website first but it's been down for an hour, or maybe even straight to the brooklyn vegan comments section: this, which is just about the most heartfelt, heartwrenching thing i've ever heard come from a musician. (and doesn't help me wanting to be his best friend, AT ALL.) but basically, they were really bummed and he was angry. and so they've added 4 shows, ID only. how awesome and stand-up is that? that he even fucking cares about half the losers trolling comments sections who've been ripping him a new asshole all day and all week, basically, since they announced the finale? he doesn't owe them (or me) a damn thing. james murphy, you're my hero.

 

 

james blake, the internet, business, egypt

have been listening to this fellow james blake. i go back and forth a lot about whether i can stand his voice. here he covers one of my favorite songs in the world: a case of you. the beginning is rough going but boy does this get beautiful. the piano chords underneath are my favorite. the sweet weightlessness at 50 seconds in. the meandering at 1:20. the chord change at 2:10! lovely.

 

have i told you lately, internet, how much i love you? when searching for places to stay in san juan del sur and how expensive it would be, i came across a guy who had a spreadsheet wherein he listed the cost of everything he consumes there. i commented on his blog and within minutes i'd had e-mails from both him and his girlfriend suggesting places to stay. amazing. when i was making merengue cookies for my grandparents and wasn't sure whether i'd beaten the egg whites long enough, i find a video of a woman beating eggwhites who says they're done when you can flip the bowl and nothing spills out. bowl flipped, problem solved. and then today when i was researching keyboards to use with my ipad so that i don't have to bring my laptop with me (and can't justify buying an air AT ALL), i was wondering which i should get, the ipad designed one or the bluetooth wireless. lo and behold, i find an 8 minute video from a guy who, in great detail, compares, contrasts and shows how both of them work.

 

and thinking david had a bluetooth wireless, i asked him if i could borrow it. i got an e-mail that said, "remember that birthday present that i keep forgetting to give to you? i thought it would be good for your writing." swoon! i challenge to a duel anyone who doesn't think i have some of the best, loveliest friends on this here planet.

 

nicaragua is approaching but not before three birthday parties this weekend and a few fashion events and this week was social media week so i had all these random techy parties to be at. i need sleep. and to do my laundry. and to get some writing done as i have no less than 5 different things with deadlines before the end of the month. it's making me dizzy.

 

and of course, i'm consumed by all thing egypt. almost as fiercely as i was all things iran (which kept me up at night and brought me to tears, regularly). democracy is better than no democracy. i believe in basic human rights. i hope they get what they've been fighting for.

independence

another new year resolution: memorize a few john ashbery poems just because they're so lovely and surprising and funny and brief.

 

i can count the single girlfriends i have on 4 fingers. the rest have all partnered up, almost entirely from online dating, in fact. i had dinner with a few girlfriends and one of them was talking about a guy who broke up with her because he said she didn't need him enough. "if i left you tomorrow, you'd be just fine." she's wildly successful and independent. "of course i would," she responded, which is how i'd have answered the same statement if put to me.

 

but then i met my friend julie for lunch. in talking about another friend of hers she said, "she just talks about how happy she is and how fine she is being single. i think she's putting guys off by not wanting them badly enough." and maybe she's right? but it just got me to thinking about needing men. or not being able to get a man if you don't make him feel needed. growing up in a single parent household, i've never needed a man myself. i've never once thought about the fact i wouldn't have to work hard and always have to support myself. i've never been the type to feel broken or not good enough if someone didn't like me.

 

seems like a man should like a woman who is self-sufficient and confident and content. maybe i'm underestimating a man's aversion to strong women? the "you don't need me enough" guy seemed to think that if she didn't desperately depend on him for things, that there's no way to be sure she wouldn't just leave him someday, which sounds much more like insecurity issues on his behalf than any issues on hers.

 

who knows.