Show where I saw the Obamas!!! AND Meryl Streep!

Locanda verde: 45 min wait

search for sponsors: high line

anybody wanna buy me a ticket to the high line opening summer benefit?

 

i really REALLY want to go. and have access to $1,000 tickets. but, minor details, i don't really have $1,000 to spend on this.

 

so, you know, holla at me if you want to help a girl out. OR if you're going and need a date! ;)

Links, jet setting, bible shopping

this made me feel like i was going to vomit. talk about terrifying. that is the moment of death. seriously. whoa.

 

this is amazing. i mean, bish is CRAAAAAZY.

 

so something about this year has given me such a travel bug. and also a good tan (the key west/LA/turks and caicos triad). so now all i keep thinking is, "what's next?! what's next?!"

 

my best friend kate wants me to come home. i love going home to her but it's, you know, not exotic. but at least it's cheap. tha'tll be a good trip for when i'm unemployed next. maybe late june. and then i've worked out a trip late july to drive from LA up to SF which i'm super psyched about. it'll be me, emily, and katie D the filmmaker. and on the way we'll be able to watch my friend alex finish her first half-marathon in napa. the timing is great. august/labor day will be upstate with the gang of gays. september and october are free but then november is KENYA. GAH. we still haven't picked a safari yet but colin knows this travel agent who will get us good deals. "she gets us the missionary discount!" "oh, ha! funny..." and he's like, "no, seriously, we have to pretend to be missionaries. bring a bible."

 

so that means i need to buy a bible. or something.

 

so alex's boyfriend works as a stage manager for a certain broadway show. he texts her, "the secret service are here. wonder who's coming tonight." so i ask al today, "who came to the show?" she says, "it's weird. nobody. they were just pre-checking it out or something. but i was told we should be free on saturday night for the show, that we'll want to go."

 

so that's that. i'm going to see a broadway show saturday and someone hella important will be there. crossing my fingers for an obama!!!

this american life, idiot lawyers, fellow stalker!

have been drowning myself in NPR lately. can't think of any reason why beyond the fact that i think i find it comforting and maybe i'm a little homesick. two of my favorites, this american life and wait! wait! don't tell me are both done in chicago. also, most the stories are just soooo good. but so many are sad. i don't know.

 

but the upside is that it's inspired me to start writing. really writing. and even if i'm sucking at it (i think i am) it's therapeutic. and so i'm looking forward to finishing stuff just to hopefully get a rejection or two. i'd be honored if someone spent the time to reject me. i feel like that sounds pathetic but i just would like to avoid being that person they laugh at and toss without so much as a second thought.

 

my brother's stint in the marines and certain things that happened to him there seem particularly noteworthy. my problem is that i'm still too close and too angry i think to really just focus and get something down that isn't some self-centered piece of crap. like, some seriously fucked up shit goes on and nobody talks about it. and he told me if i wanted to put together something that he'd talk to me which shocked me because for ages he's said he wanted to leave that part of his life behind. i guess my brother has forgiven a system that wronged him. i wish i could do the same.

 

this piece by neomi rao is so banal and just rather stupid that the whole time i read it i thought, "oh, god. this person is trying to sound like a lawyer and they're really sucking at it. these are the stupidest questions i've ever seen." for example: "Should Supreme Court justices be bound by precedent? All justices sometimes overrule previous decisions. So when is it appropriate to do so?" GAH. teh stooopids! and then, THEN, i get to the end and see this dummy is an assistant professor at a law school (not a great one) but that she also worked for bush. when, really, you see some of the morons he hired just becuase they were conservative or uber-religious and then it all makes SO MUCH SENSE. monica goodling anyone?

 

this bit by david kestenbaum is so delightfully stalky and dorky. i just love it. and i'm glad he's married cause i'd kept running into things where he talked about being single. and i'm like, "please do not tell me that this cute/smart/talented/funny guy is single. because if he is, he certainly doesn't live in NYC and that would be tragic."

fleet week, food, stars on a plane, clark's botanicals

so it's fleet week. i have a bit of a history with fleet week myself. i'm too lazy to link but they're in the archives. katie and i went to our regular friday night haunt and met three marines. one gorgeous 21-year-old (dustin), one chubby 23-year-old (scott), one normal more-mature 25-year-old (anthony). anthony had, earlier in the day, met for the first time his biological sister. crazy, right? he was adopted but looked up his birth mother and she had two other kids who lived in brooklyn and so he met them while in nyc. she was a lesbian and kept talking about my boobs. and that if she were straight that she'd hit the hot one. they were young but fun enough. dustin started sending me sex text messages the next day which was hilarious and not at all tempting, unfortunately. what a little player?!

 

consumer testing of the snuggie! result? very disappointing. though isn't ben popken so cute?

 

went to the taste of the nation event. was super good but somehow, because life is unfair, i totally missed the jean georges table. WTF? though maybe that's just karma evening me out for the free random VIP wristband that jordan whipped out of his pocket and gave to me. it let us upstairs where all the veuve was. rock on.

 

also went to the whipped! event at astor center. this means i got to feast my eyes on johnny z's two nights in a row. which totally  makes me seem stalky. i swear i had no idea he'd be at the taste event. i also didn't realize they'd be on adjacent evenings. i always go to the taste event and have a friend on their host committee so it's a given that i'll be there every year.

 

also, guess who was one my plane to and from turks and caicos? bethenney frankel! (i don't watch television shows that don't have the title LOST but my gays talk endlessly of the "real housewives".) she was with a hot dude who seemed to be about her age. i saw them on the beach as well and by "saw them" i mean "saw him" because his body was pretty ridiculous. she's cute and skinny and booby too but he's lookin GOOD. so go bethenney!

 

and on my flight home: lou ferrigno!! he was with his crazy-fake looking wife who seemed super high-maintenence (they changed seats FIVE times in the airport waiting area, she was like goldilocks) and their kids were all grunged out and goth and i had to sit next to them on the plane (in coach! mama and papa flew first class) but at least they were quiet.

 

and i just bought clark's botanicals lip balm. i know it's super expensive for such a tiny tube but so far, it's one of the best i've ever used. i hate kiehls. i've tried burts bees and various other sticks. i just find that they all seem to make my lips drier and that i need to use them 100 times a day. since i started with clark's about a week ago, i'll stick it on and i'll go half a day without needing or even thinking about re-applying. it's genius, so far.

Semper Fi! Met some marines tonight...

Dessert!

turks, wedding, serving, link dump, chickens!

the wedding! it was amazing. turks and caicos is beautiful. the water is unbelievably clear and blue. the sand on the beaches is powder-fine and never gets hot. the beaches are never crowded. frozen mojitos to your heart's desire. never too hot or without a good breeze. and it's really pretty walkable. emily knew a bunch of us were staying at the next hotel over from her fancy expensive one so got us all flashlights to keep with us because the walk along the beach from one to the other was iminently easier than navigating all the streets and driveways. also, it's a british colony or whatever and they totally drive on the other side of the road so stupid americans are bound to look the wrong way.

 

there was little to no drama from the whiny bridesmaids. we had rain on the wedding day but it stopped pre-ceremony. we wore hydrangeas in our hair. emily was a STUNNING bride. soooo soooo beautiful. and we went snorkeling (twice!) and hung with rastas and ate conch ceviche. drank. a lot.  it was the perfect vacation. not terribly relaxing as i felt there was always somewhere i had to be, but whatever my committment, the attire was a bikini and sundress so who could complain?

 

my two complaints: ATMs are few and far between and i was always needing cash. AND room service stops at like 11pm. what do you do if it's 3:30am and you're drunk and hungry (which i pretty much was every night out there)? you STARVE. not even a damn pizza joint. i am going to make millions putting ATMs in every hotel and serving some freaking good pizza, 24 hours, for $50 a pop. people there are rich. they'll pay.

 

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

 

via balk at theawl.com: "Ya know, I think making me feel respect for Jesse Ventura may wind up being one of the Bush Administration's greatest crimes."

 

speaking of the awl, i got a shoutout. not afraid to be servicey!

 

george was always my favorite beatle.

 

this bit on frank bruni is amazing. cheers to jeffrey tascarella for a really enjoyable read. also, i love scarpetta. and apologies for the fact that the last time i was in (emily brought me there for a birthday dinner) we got into a deep convo about my life/family/career that left me absolutely sobbing at the table. for like an hour. and though at the time i didn't give a fuck who saw me, in hindsight i'm fairly certain that a scene was made. it wasn't loud sobbing but it was a big, ugly, nose-blowing cry-fest. so sorry that all that went down at your lovely establishment. i promise to be in better spirits next time!

 

and re: the above post and the waiter at ago, i'm always shocked when i read bad reviews about a waiter. i waited tables, at good restaurants, for a long damn time. it's not a difficult job. even when you're slammed and in the weeds, if you're semi-efficient and keep a smile on your face and, you know, are nice to people...you guaranteed get forgiven for whatever mishaps happen over the course of a meal. oh, and freaking check back and ask the WHOLE table if ANYONE needs anything and get a definite answer from them all before you walk away. that's it. easy peasy. i can't understand getting into the service industry if you can't pretend to be nice to people for 8 hour stretches.

 

look at the plastic life gallery: awesome.

 

a gchat message from ted:

 

"i just rememberd two things to tell you
1. my mom said the chickens are laying eggs and she wants you to come down and help collect them
2. she's gonna name her next chicken after you"

 

ted's parents know i'm from chicago and that i'm a lawyer and a liberal and they have all of these perceptions about me that involve some top floor office, being some high-powered attorney/dominatrix or something. they loved sarah palin. and they are obsessed with me coming to the farm because they think i'd show up in stilettos and have never seen dirt before and they just want to see me freak out. granted, i don't like dirt that much but i'm not afraid of it. especially if there's a place to shower somewhere in the vicinity. but anyways, if i ever get down to the farm, i think i'm going to really disappoint them with my normal self. down-to-earth self, even.

 

was strolling down the upper west side and heard some 20's jazz roaring from the subway station. cross into the median and there's a cute little concert going on in verdi square. the band leader was this crazy, funny, young dude called grandpa musselman. very random. but a sweet little new york moment on a lazy sunday afternoon...

Beachy!

Landing: Turks and Caicos

neil gaiman, wildfox couture

i think i'm falling in love with neil gaiman through his tweets.

 

i know that sounds insane and/or pathetic. and certainly silly and dramatic and girly. but who cares!

 

for starters, he has good taste in friends. i'd love anyone who loves john hodgman.

 

secondly, his tweets are as his writing: careful, sentimental, funny, minimal (not in number, but in language), sensual, revealing.

 

thirdly, the man is gorgeous. i love his constantly rotating profile photos. and what i wouldn't give to run my fingers through that hair...

 

another thing that i'm in love with: this clothing brand that used to be called white horse but now is called wildfox couture. their shit is expensive. almost prohibitively so. and their shirts are so worn-in that most of them are already see-through. but i LOVE them. i want to do nothing but wear them everywhere i go. also, the shape is perfect and they make me look skinnier than i am and so they're great with jeans and heels to go out in for that "i don't care (even though i do)" look. i was gifted a couple round neck ones and due to the largess of the boobs, i'm not typically a fan of round necks. they make me look top-heavy. so i'll wear them but i look top-heavy yet skinny which is an okay thing. it could be worse. i also splurged on a pair of their sweatpants and OMG are they the most comfortable things ever made. i'm just really crushing on this brand. massively. and will keep looking for their shit on sale somewhere. and i visited the designers' blog and bitches are stunning and all skinny/blonde/probably tall and model-like. i'm trying not to die in a jealous rage at the moment. skinny winnies with an unlimited supply of wildfox stuff?!

 

emily's wedding is next week. i'm rooming with katie, the filmmaker. here's to hoping turks and caicos is worth the money i'm spending to be there. will throw some photos on the blog as i go, assuming the wireless is working...

link dump, douches, dark was the night

 

 

this guy on the left? his name is tom trowbridge. i was sitting at balthazar for brunch a couple weekends ago, trying to catch up on my new yorkers. some women sit down. they're loud and chatty and i was on the verge of being annoyed when she said, "and then he posted my personal information on craigslist!" and out came this WHOLE story about how she dated him and how she'd done something that pissed him off so he put an ad on craigslist, posting her info there and claiming she had a monkey that she was giving away. so she was getting random phone calls from people asking about said monkey, had no idea what was going on. turns out it was a cute prank from old tommy!

 

NB: okay, admittedly the idea of an ad like that is kind of hilarious. but funny if it's done by a friend. not some guy who you're casually dating who gets pissed at you for skipping out on a group brunch he'd planned.

 

so THEN she reads out this e-mail conversation with him where he basically is psycho and making threats and being kind of scary/stalky and he does that thing a lot where even though he did something wrong he tries to turn it around and make it seem like SHE'S the one with the problem because "i'm sorry for you that you don't have a better sense of humor" kind of passive-aggressive B.S. there was also great commentary to go with it, notes about how nice he dresses but how shitty his apartment is. basically guy sounds like a headcase. and she just kept calling him tom. my curiosity got the better of me and so i cut in and said, "ladies, i'm so sorry. but i've totally managed to eavesdrop on your entire conversation. this guy sounds like a huge sleaze and i just want to know his last name so i know who NOT to ever get involved with." she laughs, gives me his name, tells me to google him and tells me to tell the world to beware. so there it is: this guy is nuts. avoid!

 

i know there are haters but i think i'm in love: just matt taibbi being all hot/funny again

 

the first 100 days photo gallery: LOVE

 

i relate to molls, we have a mutual love of ira glass, if i were funny i'd have written that same post verbatim

 

so clever

 

went to the dark was the night concert last night and it was soooo good that i almost can't even process it to write about it all. rundown here. and though i was hoping for sufjan to pop in it was a really terribly enjoyable concert even without him.

 

in other news: am working a lot. like, a stupid amount. so sorry i've been absent. working this much leaves me little time to do things worth writing about.

 

OH. huge drama at emily's bachelorette that resulted in the maid of honor dis-inviting another bridesmaid (the one who made my dress and emily's wedding dress) which is crazy. it was huge and bitchy and i sat there looking at it all, thinking, THIS is why all my friends are guys. even though the gays can be bitchy they never get the way the maid of honor got. girl was out of control. i hate women sometimes.