there were a few weeks in which the amount of things i had to do was so daunting that i had something of a breakdown. no crying or sleepless nights but just a sort of low level depression where i thought about all the things i had to do while not doing any of them.
i had a long talk with a friend (who happens to be a nutritionist and life coach) and she told me to write everything i needed to do down on postits and put them on my bedroom wall.
and then a funny thing happened. i had all these bills that were due a week late (which never happens, but i physically couldn't bring myself to pay them) but when the act of writing "pay citicard bill" "pay chase bill" "pay coned" was in front of me it just thought, "oh, this is a ridiculous thing to put on a post-it" and then just paid the damn bills. all of them.
the physical act of listing some of these things as things i could not do, was so repulsive to me that i just did them. it's when i booked my south america trip. it's when i finally listed all my old winter clothes on ebay. it's when i scrubbed my room floor to ceiling. it's when i finally submitted all those restaurant reviews i was behind in.
i still have a bunch of writing to do, that i've been putting off but i met someone for new york magazine a couple days ago and she said she's always using freelancers and that i should reach out. and i have. so maybe i'll get the writing thing back afterall.