job, pee, i will make jason mraz mine, twitter

so i started a new job. i'm not sure why i got picked (all my other
friends are still unemployed) except for the fact that my supervisors
on this new project worked with me on the old project and i was a
pretty capable employee. so i'm lucky to have something regardless of
whether this project is important (!) and stressful (!) and that we're
constantly on a time crunch. also learning some pretty neat stuff and
feeling pretty cool but can't share a damn thing so must keep coolness
to myself which is really the least fun thing ever.

i was maybe given the heads up on the location of the SNL afterparty
this weekend. likely in attendance at said afterparty? my future-
husband-even-though-he-doesn't-know-it jason mraz. i heart HEART jason
mraz. unfortunately those afterparties start at 3am. who the fuck is
able to attend parties that start at 3am? obviously, not an old hag
like me.

i made an impromptu visit to em's today to work out and forgot to
bring a change of underwear so spent the rest of the day going
commando. this may not be notable for anyone who does this on a
regular basis but I DO NOT. and it was weird. it's weird to pull down
your jeans in the bathroom and not to have another layer to ply down
before you squat. it is STRANGE. i do not like. at least, i think i do
not like.

i went to sit down on the train tonight and i felt some guy shove me
in the back. i had my ipod on so if he said something pre-physical
contact, i missed it. i turned around to find out why some dude pushed
me back upright when i was already half-seated and saw him point to a
puddle of...something...on the seat. hooray for the kindness of
strangers! it was actually appropos of something becuase not more than
two weeks ago i heard some guy tell some girl, "hey, don't sit there.
there's urine on that seat" and i twittered about how many other new
yorkers would have been so helpful/bold. well, now we know that that
number is at least two.

speaking of twitter, i'm twittering more than i'm blogging. i was
considering feeding my twits to my blog but my twitter has my full
name attached to it. so the question is, do i give a fuck whether any
of the readers here who don't already know my full name (and i suspect
the majority of you do), discover my "true" identity. the question is,
also, whether i'll then mind when the inevitable few strangers
surprise me and add me on facebook. and what of the few lurkers who i
dont know try to add me, and i refuse to add them becuase, "hello! i
don't know you! why would i give you access to some 400 photos of me
and my friends and my everyday life?!" so yeah, dilemmas. or not.

and i think i will follow cousin's always sage advice and get a new
laptop secondhand because, really, i need one. this enter key shit is
sending me over the edge. also, with my trusty iphone i hardly use the
laptop anyhow so don't need to be spending the money on a new one no
matter how appley and pretty and shiny....

finally, Lost is rocking my world these days guys. for real.

Graffiti I can get on board with

She is wearing gross white patent heels, to her right a guy wearing moccasins. WTF

Kings of Leon at MSG!

unemployment, broken keys

So I'm in a bit of an unemployment stint and enjoying it thoroughly.
Sleeping late, working out a ton, catching up on doctors check ups,
making long, leisurely dinners from Emily's Tyler Florence cookbook.

Basically, not working is glorious and my determination to win the
lottery or find myself a nice sugar daddy has been renewed.

Swimming is getting better. I'm breathing on every fourth stroke which
feels more natural. We've been doing a lot of lifting which means I'm
sore in parts of my body I didn't know I had. It's a good pain though
and I pretty much love it.

Have almost finished all real estate textbooks and meeting with my
broker friend later this week. He also has someone who owes him money
so I think I get to sue someone too which will be interesting. I'm not
sure how to do it all but the brokers father in law is a retired
attorney and had volunteered to take me through it all.

Finally sucked it up and got a new York state license. Needed one
before I could get my brokers license. It was painless. Not as
painless as my trip to the DMV in SoCal, but close.

The return/enter key on my laptop has broken. It is pretty much the
most annoying thing in the history of annoying things. I can't gchat.
I have to save emails as drafts and then go in through my phone to
enter line breaks since you can't use HTML codes in gmail. It's all
rather inconvenient. Also, good motivation for me to finally replace
said laptop with a MacBook. Maybe a pretty silver one!

Winston: one spoiled dog. But so cute/ugly

Goss Girl taping in East Coast lobby in LIC!!

Kurt Elling: John Coltrane and Johnny Hartman

inauguration! singing in the streets! miracles!

happy inaugural day people! i mean it truly when i say this couldn't have happened soon enough. good riddance W. i hope he lives long enough to see/realize what a huge mess he's made. and i hope obama stays grounded and follows his gut. we're all gonna get through this mess together.

i have this little knit skirt i wear all the time with some tall black riding boots. i walked into the dentist's office and the hygienist says, "oh! i have that skirt! it's from strawberry, right?" she was right, it was. but strawberry is one of those trashy little stores that i'd rather be caught dead than seen shopping in. thank god we were in the dentist's office and not anywhere near trendy/fashionable people. in my own defense, i only stop in when i get to my massage appointments early because there's one right near the spa.

have been starting my mornings off with this song lately. it never fails to get my head bopping around a bit, my shoulders swaying. i do have an issue when the harmonies come in. when i used to sing, i was an alto. i'm a total sucker for harmonies. and i literally can't keep them in, so sing them out loud without even realizing it. so if you're in new york and you see a little half-asian girl walking around singing something other than the melody of every song to herself, it might just be me. in my next life, i want to be a backup singer.

there is this girl that i keep seeing all over the city. i noticed her first at the forever 21 in union square. she was standing in front of me in line for the fitting rooms. she was small, but had a manly face, terrible skin, a long braid down to her ass. it was her clothes i noticed first. it was as if toni collette's character from "about a boy" had dressed her. but then i saw her at the columbus circle station a few days later. and i saw her in times square last week. and this morning, in my subway station early in the morning which means she probably lives near me. it's weird.

one of my bosses was on the us air plane. you know, the "miracle on the hudson". finding out about the plane was weird, mostly because by the time people started finding out about it, it was late enough to know that likely, everyone had survived. a bit of an anticlimactic, if blessed, outcome. "oh, everyone lived? must not have been that dramatic!" but hearing his tale...i can't even comprehend living through what you think are the last moments of your life. he had to think about whether he wanted to try to call his wife to tell her what was going on or whether he wanted to spare her the freak-out moments. seems like he made the right choice, especially since it was clear everyone was okay so quickly...anyway, be thankful for the things you have.

matt taibbi, search words, clever adverts, pasternack, leonard cohen

on a slow day i read this. and re-read this and remembered all over again that i should spend more time having dirty fantasies about matt taibbi. even if he does remind me of the cocky "popular" guys from high school whom i loathed. in interviews, dude is wired and slightly obnoxious but still pretty good looking for a smart/funny guy who digs politics.

someone found my blog yesterday with the search, "how does joshua bell stay so young looking." i'm not sure why i think that's so funny, but i do.

re: the post right below this one, people actually do stop to stick some headphones in. the theme is "everyone has something to hide". plug in, secrets are whispered to you. fun idea, not sure the exposre is worth the money that must have been spent on these high-teck adverts.

knowing my job has an end date, i thought it fiscally irresponsible to go to my long-awaited pork butt (bo ssam) dinner. i think what i missed might have been one of the greatest meals of my life. i don't exaggerate when i say i was close to tears over the decision. and then the e-mails started pouring in about what bottles of wine people were bringing to uncork:

2001 Clos Ste Hune
1996 Dom Perignon
1990 Kirchmayr Riesling solist
1991 Jaboulet La Chapelle
1997 Chave Hermitage
1990 Trimbach, F E - Gewurztraminer Cuvee Seigneurs de Ribeaupierre
1971 Chapoutier, M - Hermitage Monier de la Sizeranne
1988 Guigal, E - Hermitage
1997 Mure, Rene - Gewurztraminer VT
NV Rimarts Cava

yes, i may have missed the best dinner in the history of dinners. i also have $300 in my pocket as my reward for skipping said dinner. i still think i made the wrong choice. i may cry again, right now.

went to esca last night. whenever i'm craving pasta, about once a month, i'll go and try to stake out a seat at the bar. the bar over there is like this top secret club. getting there and snagging a seat means that you're on a first name basis with the bartender who knows everyone else at the bar and will make introductions. (if i were the kind of person who could afford going there once a week, i would. the crudo is also lustworthy.) next thing you know, even though you may have thought you were going out to eat alone, you're now with a party of 4. you all share food. it is the most collegial thing i think i've ever been drawn into. the chef comes up, hangs out to chat. victor, the bartender, makes sure to introduce me. "jasmine, this is david pasternack, chef and part owner here." i shake hands, refrain from saying something embarassing like, "i know who you are! i've read about you! i like food!" i didn't even say, "you're david pasternack!" which is also something that may have slipped out had i not been as composed. or sober. and because the esca bar is a "zone of extra-friendliness" or something david says, "hey, i got a new pasta machine! come down and look at it!" my response, "are you serious?" "yeah! come on down!" and off he went. off my stool i hopped and followed him through the kitchen and down the stairs. past some trays of post dinner biscotti, past freezers containing trays of frozen pasta. he showed me the process, the part of the machine that broke and couldn't be replaced on his last machine (which is why he had to get a new one). he was a proud daddy standing over his bright, shiny hunk of stainless steel with polished bronze working bits. pretty damn neat. ALMOST makes up for missing the pork butt. almost. maybe.

tried to get leonard cohen tickets this morning. submitted a request at 9:01 and they were all sold out already. i never know how that happens, but, FUCK. i really really wanted to go. tickets are already up on craigslist but they're asking 3 times face value because they can. dude hasn't had a full concert in more than a decade and this one at the beacon is the only one scheduled. this may make me cry as well.

Interactive ad for Big Love (plug in some earphones) in tunnel between times sq and port auth!

recession, swimming, snuggies

the weather this weekend was so gross. is so gross.

and my project is over at the end of the week which means i'll soon be one of the many trying to file an unemployment claim on a site that won't stop crashing.

so now we're full-on going into recession/depression mode. i gave myself a french pedicure. i plan on eating out less. cutting down on alcohol consumption. and i've been working out at emily's sweet new apt so i'm saving money on a gym. she needs to get in shape before her wedding so it's a good opportunity for my main drinking/debauchery partner and me to be healthier, cook meals, etc. instead of going out and binge eat/drink like we'd usually do. my partner in crime is now my partner in fitness. or something.

the swimming thing is getting better. i got a nose clampy thing to keep the water from getting all up in my nose. i'm still learning how to turn my head to breathe without trying to lift it too much out of the water. i guess i just feel that when i turn my head, that i'm not turning it enough and that instead of air, i'll take in a giant mouthful of water. basically, it's all still very unnatural. and my arms are still flaily. practice makes perfect. i get less and less scared each time. so strange to think of myself being scared of swimming when i know i like being in water so much.

kate and ant and i kept making fun of those snuggies that you see commercials for like every 5 seconds if you're watching cable television. we thought they all looked cultish. like big-ass crazy scientology robes or something. so wouldn't you know that anthony's parents actually get kate a snuggie for christmas (these people have a history of terrible gifts). i'm still laughing just thinking of her on the couch with it.

and i updated my damn links down there. i hate getting into my template. it's confusing. disorienting. but 90% of the people there had stopped blogging or changed blog addresses. so i give a big thumbs up to jon, cadiz and becky for being consistent! yay!

fiction, credit, swallowing water, kitchen toys

when i'm behind in new yorkers (which is something i always am) i usually skip the fiction. sometimes i feel bad about that. most times i do it without regret. but kudos to this guy who makes me feel like it's okay and who also points out the ones i should stop back on when i have time (who knows when that would be).

i got an e-mail today: "congratulations! your revolving credit line has now been increased to $49,500!" seriously people? seriously? you really think giving people credit lines that their salaries don't support is a good idea right now? also, i could give a shit since i have an american aadvantage card which doesn't count towards my credit rating anyhow (they don't report credit limit increases). so poo on all that.

got some hunter rain boots and LOVE them. in all caps! perfect for the rainy-ass days we've been having as of late.

have been helping emily get her registry together. i'm jealous. is it wrong to want to get married just so i can fully stock my kitchen? i want a complete le creuset set. and a kitchen aid mixer, and a good cuisinart. and some bob kramer knives. also, a bigger kitchen to hold said items would also be appreciated. kthxbye.

my first swimming lesson with emily went okay. i've discovered why i've never been a good swimmer and also why i'm the best doggie paddler ever, i have a big thing against putting my head under water. i swallow water, it goes all up in my nose, i'm constantly afraid of breathing before my head is all the way turned, my throat starts to burn. so basically, i have a lot of work to do. emily is a fantastic teacher though and had me do walking laps with my head down practicing breathing on all my 3rd strokes. when i go to breathe i keep lifing my head out of the water which is difficult, unnecessary, and makes swimming 10 times for difficult than it needs to be. but i'm going to get nose plugs and see if it all feels any better.

beyonce, UTIs, twitter

i saw this and had to laugh because mine is likely the same way. though, if you counted how many times we watched the video, and the performance on SNL with JT, and her performance on the american music awards...well that number probably quadruples or something.

why so much watching? because me and the gays are obsessed, OBSESSED, with really learning the choreography to this thing. we spent a gigantic part of thanksgiving weekend just watching, rewinding, and doing it along with her. i'm not sure how i forgot to mention that in my epic thanksgiving post.

anyway, i'm not ashamed. this is who i am. a girl who loves trying to teach herself to dance even though she really is pretty sucky at it.

in better news, the the friend dating the doctor may have mentioned that she has friends who are in need of antibiotics every so often. "i'll write them prescriptions" spilled out of his mouth before she had a chance to even ask for it. hallelujah for UTI-curing drugs without a costly doctor visit. on a related note, i'd say close to 50% of the people who find this blog through word searches are looking for info on UTIs. i'm not sure how/when i became a UTI clearinghouse but ive seriously never gotten rid of one of those things without meds. rather, i've never waited long enough with one to see if it would go away without cipro or something similar. sorry ladies!

did i mention i'm soon going for the whole pork butt (bo ssam) at ssam bar? i think i probably mentioned it but am too lazy to go back and check. also, i'm excited enough about it that it warrants two posts. all because i met some girl at a party of sam's and she's into wine and i'm into food and so we mesh. that happens a lot with sam. he's a huge jerk to women but he meets some really super cool girls. i'm always friends with them long after they've stopped talking to him.

(this is all unrelated but whenever i type or say "super cool" it comes out in a french accent due to this exchange student pierre that stayed with my friend jennifer in high school. he used to say it all the time. also, he was really pretty. he had a perfectly placed cindy-crawford-type mole. anyway it sounds like SOUP-erre koule and that's just what it sounds like in my head. and palaver always comes out pah-LAH-vah...anywhoo)

also, for those attractive folk known as "iphone owners" who are also twitter users, i highly recommend twitter fon as an app. easy to use and lets you do things that the mobile version of twitter doesn't, like, replying. turns out i've had lots of people replying to me and that i never saw a single one of them. curses!

holidays, bum parties, bad jokes

not sure what to say to explain the dearth of posting beyond the fact that i've been busy, but busy doing a whole lot of nothing. have been selfishly spending the last couple weeks lounging with friends in pajamas.

chicago and christmas was notable only for the fact that it was my first trip home where i did not demand a trip to nordstrom rack  OR target. that, my friends, is what we call practicing self restraint! i knew i'd spend money in both places and i also knew i didn't need anything. i especially do not need more shoes. in fact, i probably threw out 20 pairs of shoes last month based on the fact that they didn't fit/were rundown/old/broken/etc.

one roommate isn't moving in until jan 15th and the other one has been out of town and i've decided i do not like living alone. not that i particularly love having roommates but being by myself creeps me out. i have visions of the house getting broken into in the middle of the night and being murdered. obviously, that shiz could happen even if my roommates were home but my room is at the very back of the apartment so i guess i feel more comfortable thinking that i'd get advance warning from either roommate first if there was a predator in the house. he'd definitely come across and murder one of them first. consider them human guard dogs. or something. that's morbid, sorry.

new years was fairly quiet. a few civilized house parties. one that had big dogs which were cute, but bad news for the fancy stockings i was wearing. a friend may have had unprotected sex that night. the next day at brunch we may have also made lots of plan b and abortion jokes the next day. we are quite possibly evil. another friend has also started seeing a doctor who was drunk on NYE but had to work the next day. my friend ryan was like, "i don't like the thought that doctors are real people too. you don't want to think that someone who cuts people open is allowed to drink alcohol, like ever." then we moved on to jokes about doctors. another friend has joined eharmony and said she was open to all ethnicities but was only being sent asian dudes. so she changed her preferences excluding asians so she could see what else was out there. then she exclusively was being sent only black guys. again, after a week of seeing only black dudes, changed her preferences. then, she only got indian guys. in order to see a solitary white guy at all after her first month she had to exclude all the races. "eharmony made me racist!" is probably my new favorite sentence. after, "if she'd only had a plan A, she wouldn't have needed plan B."

i went to the ATM yesterday and when i stepped into the little lobby/atm area there were 4 bums hanging out, sitting on the floor in there. it was a homeless person party! and because i didn't have an invite, i felt i was crashing as i stopped in for cash. i liked the idea of homeless people entertaining. just because you don't have a house shouldn't mean you can't throw a little fete every once in a while. "hey guys, come over! i'm having a fiesta at the ATM vestibule in the bank of america on broadway and 50th! hope to see you there!"

saw benjamin button which i'd highly recommend. i think brad pitt's acting abilities are questionable but he didn't have that many lines in the movie and spent a whole lot of time looking at people quizzically. if he weren't the prettiest thing ever, i might have complained. but he IS the prettiest thing ever, and the movie was gorgeous and, and cate blanchett is wondrous. the special effects were so good you forgot they were there. i also saw gran tornio. it took my heart and beat it around and left it broken and deflated. i cried quite a bit and think that if clint eastwood doesn't win best oscar for acting for this that there is no justice in this world. it was one of those movies that hurts so bad that my mantra walking out of the theatre was "it's not real, it's only a movie. it's not real, it's only a movie." GO SEE IT.

em is moving to a fancy new building with a gym, sauna and pool. emily is a great swimmer and that means finally FINALLY learning how to swim properly. as of now, all i do is kick and kind of flail my arms in a way that really just makes me look like i'm impersonating swimming based on what i've seen of it on television. whenever i tell people i don't know how to swim i get an incredulous, "you don't know how to swim?!" which i think means that they feel that if you tossed me in a deep pool of water, i'd drown. this is not true. i am a phenomenal water treader/dog paddler. probably olympic quality, actually. i just really don't know how to move that well in the water. and if i were being chased by, i dunno, a shark, i'd be dead before i had two flailing arm strokes.

Happy new year from a big Saint Bernard!