holidays, bum parties, bad jokes

not sure what to say to explain the dearth of posting beyond the fact that i've been busy, but busy doing a whole lot of nothing. have been selfishly spending the last couple weeks lounging with friends in pajamas.

chicago and christmas was notable only for the fact that it was my first trip home where i did not demand a trip to nordstrom rack  OR target. that, my friends, is what we call practicing self restraint! i knew i'd spend money in both places and i also knew i didn't need anything. i especially do not need more shoes. in fact, i probably threw out 20 pairs of shoes last month based on the fact that they didn't fit/were rundown/old/broken/etc.

one roommate isn't moving in until jan 15th and the other one has been out of town and i've decided i do not like living alone. not that i particularly love having roommates but being by myself creeps me out. i have visions of the house getting broken into in the middle of the night and being murdered. obviously, that shiz could happen even if my roommates were home but my room is at the very back of the apartment so i guess i feel more comfortable thinking that i'd get advance warning from either roommate first if there was a predator in the house. he'd definitely come across and murder one of them first. consider them human guard dogs. or something. that's morbid, sorry.

new years was fairly quiet. a few civilized house parties. one that had big dogs which were cute, but bad news for the fancy stockings i was wearing. a friend may have had unprotected sex that night. the next day at brunch we may have also made lots of plan b and abortion jokes the next day. we are quite possibly evil. another friend has also started seeing a doctor who was drunk on NYE but had to work the next day. my friend ryan was like, "i don't like the thought that doctors are real people too. you don't want to think that someone who cuts people open is allowed to drink alcohol, like ever." then we moved on to jokes about doctors. another friend has joined eharmony and said she was open to all ethnicities but was only being sent asian dudes. so she changed her preferences excluding asians so she could see what else was out there. then she exclusively was being sent only black guys. again, after a week of seeing only black dudes, changed her preferences. then, she only got indian guys. in order to see a solitary white guy at all after her first month she had to exclude all the races. "eharmony made me racist!" is probably my new favorite sentence. after, "if she'd only had a plan A, she wouldn't have needed plan B."

i went to the ATM yesterday and when i stepped into the little lobby/atm area there were 4 bums hanging out, sitting on the floor in there. it was a homeless person party! and because i didn't have an invite, i felt i was crashing as i stopped in for cash. i liked the idea of homeless people entertaining. just because you don't have a house shouldn't mean you can't throw a little fete every once in a while. "hey guys, come over! i'm having a fiesta at the ATM vestibule in the bank of america on broadway and 50th! hope to see you there!"

saw benjamin button which i'd highly recommend. i think brad pitt's acting abilities are questionable but he didn't have that many lines in the movie and spent a whole lot of time looking at people quizzically. if he weren't the prettiest thing ever, i might have complained. but he IS the prettiest thing ever, and the movie was gorgeous and, and cate blanchett is wondrous. the special effects were so good you forgot they were there. i also saw gran tornio. it took my heart and beat it around and left it broken and deflated. i cried quite a bit and think that if clint eastwood doesn't win best oscar for acting for this that there is no justice in this world. it was one of those movies that hurts so bad that my mantra walking out of the theatre was "it's not real, it's only a movie. it's not real, it's only a movie." GO SEE IT.

em is moving to a fancy new building with a gym, sauna and pool. emily is a great swimmer and that means finally FINALLY learning how to swim properly. as of now, all i do is kick and kind of flail my arms in a way that really just makes me look like i'm impersonating swimming based on what i've seen of it on television. whenever i tell people i don't know how to swim i get an incredulous, "you don't know how to swim?!" which i think means that they feel that if you tossed me in a deep pool of water, i'd drown. this is not true. i am a phenomenal water treader/dog paddler. probably olympic quality, actually. i just really don't know how to move that well in the water. and if i were being chased by, i dunno, a shark, i'd be dead before i had two flailing arm strokes.