work boyfriend, date deux
the bare bones of it: date number two was lunch. already at the bar with a glass of wine when he arrived, he leaned in for a kiss on the lips when i was aiming for his cheek. however, that was the only awkward moment of the day.
i'd mentioned how good their tomato soup was but how i couldn't finish a whole bowl by myself. he didn't seem interested but wanted me to pick an appetizer to share. my second choice? steamed clams. when the waiter came, clams AND tomato soup were ordered. am i spoiled or what?
justy texted saying he was headed for a movie and we hopped over after lunch to join him where hand-holding ensued. he has a car here and drove me home. we kissed for a bit in the car. on the kiss scale, i'd give it a 6. i tried to get a little sexy on him, a teeny sucking and biting on the lip, and he backed away like it was too much for him to handle...*shaking head*
i'm not sure about all this. i don't know if our chemistry is that good. to be perfectly frank, i don't know that we have any chemistry. if he's attracted to me, it's not in the way i like. he keeps calling me cute. which is fine, but it doesn't make me feel like i'm wanted. like he wants to rip my clothes off and ravish me in bed. that last feeling...i think i need that. i actually said, "you know, you call me cute a lot." he tried to justify it by saying something like, "well, on the scale of things, you're more on the cute side than the 'really pretty' side." now, i know he didn't mean it to be an insult...but stuff like that doesn't sound good any way you cut it! i'm always "cute" until i get into bed with a guy and when he sees my range and unbeatable enthusiasm, i typically graduate to "sexy" or "hot."
there is so much pressure to like him because he's nice. i don't typically like nice guys. i like hot guys and they're almost always assholes causing me to not like them for all that long. some cycle, huh? because i work with the guy i have to give this as many chances as i can handle before i make any move that brings a whole world of discomfort to work.
i'll see what happens...and so will all of you...