Saturday, December 17, 2005

toys for a tot

my office participates in a toy for tots kind of program. we got these letters from kids in inner-city grade schools. they asked for things, told us a bit about themselves.

my boss had a letter from an 11 year old girl who wanted gucci heels and a specific lip glosses from MAC. i have issues with that. these are needy children who are entered into this program. i have a problem with a greedy little girl asking for expensive things from a stranger. i have a problem with her expensive tastes when her family obviously doesn't have any money. i worry about the terror (i.e. prostitute) that she's, inevitably, going to become.

my boy, however, is lovely. not my real child, but my toys for tots boy. my real child is the devil. kidding. so i have a letter from a 7 year old named Jshdre. makes you wonder why the mother even threw the e in there at all? that vowel just crashing the raging party those consonants were having without it.

so anyway, Jshdre wanted yu-gi-oh cards. i didn't know what they were but toys'r'us has a whole aisle for it. he also said he likes science, is good at school and wants books. now, all that seemed a bit over the top. i had a sneaking suspicion that he and a few friends thought that by making themselves seem like good little studious children we'd spend more money on them. well, it worked, to an extent. i did spend extra money on him, on tons of books. i got him 2nd grade level books on chemistry, biology, astronomy, physics, and an intro to the human body where he learns where the heart, lungs, stomach and brains are and what they do.

he also asked for a bike, but even though i'm not in the poor-house, "i'm not made of money kid!" this is something my mother used to say to me when i was little.

the whole thing made me feel a bit be continued...

22 people who played with me:

Blogger Jon said...

Good for you Jazz. At a company I used to work at our department would adopt a needy family. Provide them a big meal for Christmas (plus a little more), donated clothes for everyone, and toys for the kids.

I don't get the whole 11 year old prostitutes angle. She is obviously learning this attitude from the people around her. Sad, very sad.

12/17/2005 2:14 AM  
Blogger robmcj said...

Thanks, that was funny. How does Jshdre pronounce his name, I wonder. Good idea with the science books, that'll teach him to pretend to be studious.

12/17/2005 5:37 AM  
Blogger The Big Cheese said...

Is this where I submit my christmas list?

12/17/2005 1:33 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Did your boss end up getting the gucci heels and MAC lipgloss for her? He should send her something to make her studious, that would set her right... Anyways, I think the gifts you got for your kid totally rock. Even if he's not studious, he may find the books fascinating and eventually become a brilliant Nobel Peace prize winner.

12/17/2005 4:31 PM  
Blogger R. U. Serious said...

Boys love Yu-gi-oh. My kid ALWAYS wants more. Hell, if you go to card/comic stores there are rare cards that are supposed to be great in the game that cost big bucks.

And most hookers can't afford Gucci. She'll just move to Dallas.

12/17/2005 10:24 PM  
Blogger @ said...

Sadly enough, she probably is very needy, but wants what our society values...and what we are taught to want by what's on tv....And well there is the ole "what's in is the it thing to have."

It's no longer a 50 dollar pair of's 200 dollars!

12/17/2005 11:38 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

How had an 11 year old girl come to understand the virtues of MAC lipgloss?
I work with women in their 20s and 30s who don't even know it exists (fools).

I think you did the right thing by getting him books...fingers crossed he actually reads them!!

12/18/2005 6:04 AM  
Blogger Joefish said...

I still don't understand Yu-Gi-Oh.

12/18/2005 10:48 AM  
Blogger Syar said...

i love your comment on his name : "makes you wonder why the mother even threw the e in there at all? that vowel just crashing the raging party those consonants were having without it."

the toys for tots program does sound like a good thing. but that gucci and m.a.c craving girl just makes me think of those snotty 15-going-on-16 year olds on MTV's Super Sweet Sixteen who are (way over) privileged and still would rob a blind deaf mute with no legs just in case he happens to have the nice table at some cafe.

almost makes me want to bleed out my- oops, just did.

and to make up for my lack of comments lately, note on last HNT photo : couldn't see the rings. thoughts it was those brown things on the back pocket, but then I realized those were supposed to be there. maybe its just my eyes.

12/18/2005 8:08 PM  
Blogger SnowQueen said...

Good work jazz! hopefully karma will work out well when you get to recieving your xmas prezzies!

12/18/2005 11:37 PM  
Blogger stretch td said...

She may not get what she wants, but I'm sure you can make it a happy X-mas for her.

Feeling maternal ... do tell! :O

12/18/2005 11:53 PM  
Blogger Andy said...

Maybe before spending loads of money on many smaller, individual presents, you could've gotten him one all-encompassing gift:

The Yu-gi-oh Science Bike!

12/19/2005 12:54 PM  
Blogger Danny said...

This was honestly your funniest writing that I've read in a while.

"....just crashing the raging party those consonants were having without it."

sunny shit.

and the prostitute part was gold. Way to go.

Oh, and you'd be a great mommy, to my babies.ha.

12/19/2005 2:20 PM  
Blogger Danny said...

substitue the (s) in sunny with an (f) please. thanks.

12/19/2005 2:21 PM  
Blogger 1 said...


give devil-baby a big hug for me, perhaps we can set up a play date with my ghost-baby?

12/19/2005 2:21 PM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

what the hell do parents these days have against VOWELS!?

ugh. very good work, jaz. i loved science-y books as a kid. i don't get yu-gi-oh, either. hey, any money spent on learning can't be wasted. that kid really is smart.

12/19/2005 6:01 PM  
Blogger Domite said...

I pray that he rads the books. I find this post interesting, because it seems that kids are becoming very wise at pimping the system. I have a few clients who are divorced and the children pimp one parent for what the other won't buy. I think though ingenious it is also sad.


12/19/2005 8:11 PM  
Blogger AM said...

Right on about little miss gucci heels there. That's just disturbing.

As for your little boy, I'm sure he's gonna be thrilled. Wish I could do something like that, despite that I don't have much money on me too :( Will prolly just drop off a bag of old toys in those charity boxes :)

12/20/2005 5:40 AM  
Blogger omar said...

Feeling maternal? Wanna babysit? That ought to take care of it.

12/20/2005 8:37 AM  
Blogger The Bastard Son said...

You simply must be kidding. A needy child really asked for Gucci? My brain cannot seem to comprehend that at this moment. My little brother is a label whore, he is 15 and must have the best of he lives in some castle somewhere and doesn't live the middle class existence that is reality...


12/20/2005 12:19 PM  
Blogger Amber Lynn said...

I love doing Christmas angels. It is basically what you did at work, but you pull a kid's tag off a Christmas Tree at a mall and buy them stuff and turn it back in.

Yeah, just the girl knowing to ask for that stuff makes me think she isn't really from a poor family.

12/20/2005 11:01 PM  
Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

The girl isn't that bad... She probably knows someone at school with those things, or saw them on TV. Many kids don't really know the value of objects.

Thanks for buying your kid the books. It's really a gift to help him learn and overcome the circumstances of his upbringing, so that one day he may be in the fiscal position to do the same for an underpriveledged child.

12/23/2005 8:11 PM  

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