Saturday, September 03, 2005

a funny story. or two.

so just wrote that post about how men have sixth senses. maybe women who are trying to set men up do also....

about 6 months ago my mother and i were at a winery and this drunk lady started talking to us. "are you single?" she asked once she found out i lived in new york. "yes," i said. "well give me your number because i have this guy ian i want to set you up with. he's beautiful, irish, works for l'oreal corporate headquarters." i never heard from the lady.

but this morning i get a phone call, "hello jasmine. this is crazy. i'm that woman laurie that you met at the winery with your mother. i lost your number and couldn't follow up but just found it. call me if you want to meet ian."

isn't that nuts? i haven't decided whether to call back. i suppose i have nothing to lose but it's weird all the same.

also, the 19 year old has been telling people we've slept together. i can't decide whether to be flattered that he'd lie about having slept with me like it was something worth bragging about or whether to be upset that i have friends that think i actually slept with a 19 year old. that girl who knows his older brother was talking to a mutual friend of ours, jeff. she tells jeff that 19 year old told her we had sex. whether he actually used the words or just implied or hinted at it, i'm pretty sure he knows what she walked away believing.

i briefly considered sleeping with him because, well, hell, if everyone already thinks we did it, why not just make it a reality? but common sense kicked in. gotta start spreading the truth so people don't think i'm a crazy person for having done someone who just graduated from high school.

15 people who played with me:

Blogger omar said...

also, the 19 year old has been telling people we've slept together.

When I read this, I was so excited that you were finally going to agree with me about the teenager. And then I kept reading.

9/03/2005 6:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't let a lie about you go. They grow.

9/03/2005 6:21 PM  
Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

Yeah, tell everyone he is full of shit. Besides, if he is self-absorbed enough to lie about having sex, he's probably pretty crappy at having sex.

9/03/2005 8:46 PM  
Blogger TomCollins said...

No kidding--if he's lying about it, then it's probably not worth it.

& why wouldn't you meet Ian? Can't hurt just to meet him, could it?

...could it?


9/03/2005 11:03 PM  
Blogger MEP said...

Might as well meet Ian and see what he's like, can't hurt. Give the library adonis a reason to scramble for your affection. :)

9/04/2005 12:27 AM  
Blogger Mister Underhill said...

It seems like weird behavior to lie about that, and that sort of thing would really annoy me.

As for his age, you only live once and I don't see why you shouldn't sleep with him if you want to. As you get older though, you do start lying about who you haven't slept with instead of how you have so maybe you need a man who's a couple of years older ;)

9/04/2005 2:19 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

I say call her back. Ian could be a really good guy, and if he's not, well, Library Adonis will, as mentioned above, have something to be worried about.

As to the 19 year old... what a scum bag! I'd suggest doing something violent, but that may hurt your record. So instead I suggest you start correcting people and make him out to be the ass.

9/04/2005 6:47 PM  
Blogger Gloria Glo said...

Glad the common sense kicked in....telling people you've slept together?! What's that?! I haven't had that happen since....well, I was 19.

9/05/2005 12:27 AM  
Blogger Syar said...

it can't be cool that he's blatantly lying about what's obviously not happening in the sack. added to the fact that he still has the word teen in his age, you should go and right this wrong now.

sorry I missed the diatribe, looks like some good times happened while I wasn't here. Must go back and read it all.

9/05/2005 1:02 AM  
Blogger Me said...

I can't believe he would lie about that.

Well, yes I can. Ridiculous.

I would give this new guy a try. I always try for the "why not" attitude. Yay!

9/05/2005 3:25 AM  
Blogger stretch td said...

Jazz -- Precisely the reason to stay away from younger men. He's just trying to put another imaginary notch in the belt he shows his friends. Time to turn the page.

As for "Ian", what does this lady know about you that you are perfect for Ian? Probably nothing. She probably views it that you and Ian have a lot in common -- you both live in New York. From her vantage point, that is enough. From yours?

Just my thoughts,


9/05/2005 11:36 AM  
Blogger Adz said...

Although she lost your number and made no effort to find it, it is still a compliment that she thinks highly enough of you to set you up with Ian. Than in itself would be enough for me to meet him, and, well the Irish. Good bunch fairly.

The 19 yr old, well he's just forgiven, afterall he is 19. And honestly you'd never be crazy for sleeping with him. At 19 that's got to be some more than twice kind of fun??

9/05/2005 1:40 PM  
Blogger siren said...

yeah arent 19 year olds at their sexual prime? Kinda hard to pass that up...but then again, he is spreading lies about you which is exactly why you shouldn't sleep with him. Good to be a fantasy, I think. And Ian, couldn't hurt to check it out...My boyfriend is half Irish and I consider myself very lucky.

9/05/2005 3:54 PM  
Blogger jodifosterturkeybaster said...

Jazz, what age would a willing, 'in great shape' guy have to be to have the pleasure? Is 22 too young? Too old? Are you in to odd numbers because I have a birthday coming up. Just a thought. Your political insight has, for some odd reason, called my George W to attention (I call him that because he is in no way qualified to represent me with the manner that he does.)

Also, don't be flattered, you know I think you're sexy, but most men would gladly admit to having sex with the 55 year old Russian cleaning lady at their gym just to have something to type about on their blog (married, you should call Svetlana back!)

Although I'm sure most men don't get the opportunity to acutally be in the same room as your great profile boobs, and if they do, they probably have no idea what to do with them. hmmmm. Now I'm wondering myself....

9/05/2005 4:36 PM  
Blogger Walking Wounded said...

Definitely crush that rumor! You'll be better off in the long run.


9/05/2005 8:41 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home