Sunday, August 21, 2005

the hunt continues

$800 - 1BR Available in a 3BR Apt

"Nice room available in clean, charming 3 room apartment in the Chinatown. Apartment is located between Broome and Grand Street. 1 minute walk from B, D, Q trains. Close to all kinds of shop, especial restaurants. 2 windows. It is charming and spacious, and is quite adequate for two to live comfortably. It has a large living room. The laundry is right across the street. Common areas are clean, minimal, and clutter free."

reality: fifth floor walkup in dingy chinatown. tons of garbage bags and 95 degree heat make stench in stairwell almost too much to bear. nearly turn back on third floor. reach apartment where a 14 year old asian boy answers the door with his younger sister. door opens up to disgusting "living room/kitchen" with cracked and torn out linoleum floors and two-seater blue couch. tiny hallway on left reveals three doors. "that one is where my parents live, this one is where me and my sister lives, this one is the room for rent." boy knocks, opens door to weird guy with shaved head giving us dirty looks as he lays on cot infront of tiny t.v. in equally dingy room. "adequate for two to live comfortably..." and by two, she means SIX? she thinks that two people will want to live in the room with the four person chinese family already there?!

this continues. a guy with a bed in the living room of the apartment up on east 120th st. a teeny bedroom in a bohemian place on the lower east side (read: about a 20 minute walk from any kind of transportation, but home to lots of hipsters). some girl shannon is the matriarch of this place (her name is on the lease) and she has complete control of the living room (read: we cannot use it, it is hers). girl showing the apt also notes that if we touch any of her belongings, even moving a coffee cup to the cupboard from the counter, she will freak out at you. "but don't worry about that too much, shannon is almost never home." then an apartment that i show up to an open house at but nobody answers the door or the phone. a cute apt on east 10th street (prime east village) but girl has very anal ad (desires a liberal, pro-choice, roommate who has correct grammar and punctuation...wha??) and has a cat (ick). i would have taken place but told her that i'm allergic and would prefer cat stay out of my room and this was not okay with her.

the saving grace of the day was an absolutely huge beautiful chelsea apartment. the girls living there all seemed normal. the walls were painted cute colors. my bedroom was big enough for a full bed. AND it was only $650 a month (that is NOTHING by manhattan standards). the only catch: she had nearly a hundred people looking at the place over the weekend. chances of her picking me seem slim. especially since i was falling all over myself when i met her because i was literally shocked by the size of the place. dumbfounded might be an appropriate word. so in a move of desperation, i just e-mailed her to tell her i'd gladly pay $750 for the room. that it was worth the extra money for me to have a couple normal roommates and a comfortable living environment. will the stunt work? i doubt it. i tried to sound as tactful as possible, trying not to sound like i was bribing them even though that's exactly what i was doing.

stay tuned. the saga continues, same jazz time, same jazz channel.

25 people who played with me:

Blogger Ale said...

that was a good move jazz! - these chick are OBVIOUSLY NEW!

wooow- thats crazy about the china town apt- scary-

you'll find something you like, i'm sure! when you least expect!!

8/21/2005 8:20 PM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

that last one sounds good. hang in there, kiddo. i'm sure you'll find something great. keep us posted.

8/21/2005 9:15 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Best of luck to you, hope the best one turns out to be yours. I am also certain that every state in the Union have freakos like the Chinatown incident. I'm sure there is a trauma center near.

Hope things turn out well, just keep us posted.

8/21/2005 9:46 PM  
Blogger Mister Underhill said...

Man, for 650 dollars you can have someone killed in nevada../there it only buys the privelege of living in a closet with some chinese family.

On the bright side, if you do get the apartment, you will offer proof that the nice apartments with cool roommates as seen on friends is not too terribly unrealistic, after all.

8/21/2005 10:36 PM  
Blogger TrueJerseyGirl said...

Just found you through...hm...I forget where. But good luck with the apartment. $750 sounds well worth it.

8/21/2005 10:54 PM  
Blogger omar said...

I think the Shannon apartment is much scarier than the chinatown place! She will "freak out on you." (shudder)

Good luck, jazz.

8/22/2005 6:47 AM  
Blogger Nadia said...

The Chelsea place sounds great. I'm rooting for you to get it! The bribery move = genius!

:)

8/22/2005 8:32 AM  
Blogger madison's favorite son said...

i think i looked at that chinatown apartment in san francisco once. 'cept this one was above a nail salon, so the acrylic fumes cut the hot treash smell in half.

8/22/2005 9:28 AM  
Blogger Wombat & Aspen said...

Time for some impudence, Jazzy. In addition to the additional $100 per, why not send flowers or spa gift certificates to your prospective apartment mates?

Bribery works.

Wombat

8/22/2005 9:52 AM  
Blogger MEP said...

Ugg, it sounds like apartment hunting in NYC is NO FUN. But good luck with the Chelsea apt! I'm sure your bribe will give you an edge. If not . . . you know Manderin is one of the most popular languages to learn these days and could be an asset. ;) J/k - that particular Chinatown apt sounded scary!

8/22/2005 11:31 AM  
Blogger Me said...

Wow. I really hope you get this last one. This is making me think that if I got an internship there within the next year or so, I better start looking now! I think about around here where they knock off hundreds promoting specials for the apartments on every corner and then how utterly difficult it is there. Ugh. Hopefully the end is near.

8/22/2005 11:34 AM  
Blogger Callie said...

Good luck, Jazz! I have a friend who lives in NY, and housing there sucks ass. I have my fingers crossed for you.

Just think, if you wanted to downscale, you could move out here, and pay just a little more than that for an entire apartment to yourself!

8/22/2005 1:55 PM  
Blogger JustJunebug said...

callie i was going to suggest just that! here in H-town and i pay less than that for a 750SQ apt.

jazz, just move to Houston :O)

8/22/2005 2:08 PM  
Blogger Gloria Glo said...

You have officially cured my desire to live in NYC. Although I would love the blog fodder of any of the afore-mentioned places (the random Chinese family being my favorite), it would not be good for your sanity, dear. Definitely.

Hopin' the bribery works....

8/22/2005 4:45 PM  
Blogger marriedman said...

I'm so JAZZED!!! hehehehehehe.....I'm going to kill myself now. Either that or I'll kill Merkley???'s dead dog.

8/22/2005 5:30 PM  
Blogger Warped Bryce said...

great post - I absofuckinglutely do *not* want to have rats as roommates...

8/22/2005 7:39 PM  
Blogger mcgibfried said...

650 would land you a 2br w/ a loft here in tampa..

seems outrageous to me.

8/22/2005 8:04 PM  
Blogger Inner Fonzie said...

Why don't you live in Hoboken? Also, Jersey City is really cleaning up the area near the Path and there are some good deals there...

I lived in Hoboken for 2 1/2 years until I tired of it... I couldn't even imagine living in Manahattan, I think I would kill someone.

8/22/2005 9:07 PM  
Blogger jazz said...

i didn't mention it (i thought i had) but the room with the chinese family was going for $800!!!!

can you believe it?!

fonz: i prefer being in new york state only because i have bad reactions to smoke and it would make me not go out much to the bars over there...

8/22/2005 11:04 PM  
Blogger Larry said...

God bless, NYC living. Expensive as hell, but at least the people are crazy.

Good luck. Hope you get the apt you want.

You should have gone $800. It's either that, or a dirty Chinatown place, or crazy cat lady.

8/22/2005 11:13 PM  
Blogger JT_Taint said...

Huh very interesting.
My name was Jasmine once.

8/22/2005 11:36 PM  
Blogger Patsy Darling said...

Jazz, Jersey is so cheap you need to cross the river. Hoboken is overpriced and full of damn yuppies. Downtown Jersey City is pretty nice now and only a Path ride away.

8/22/2005 11:45 PM  
Blogger Gordy said...

Blimey, posts like this make me glad to be living in the Midwest although I would love to live in the city. I am just about to move upstairs to a two bed apartment and including bills the rent will be $1000 give or take.

8/23/2005 3:40 PM  
Blogger Pizzle said...

While I love NYC, I don't think I could live there unless I were super-rich, and could avoid the obvious hastle you're enduring...

Good luck!

8/23/2005 4:01 PM  
Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

Jazz... You make a good point about the smoke. You make a bad point about the living.
Here, in a big enough city, a crappy place in a bad neighborhood with two bedrooms goes for $800 a month, and that's if it's a huge crappy place. A friend rents a house less than a mile from the Sound (Puget Sound) for $800 a month, with three bedrooms and a yard... And the best part about the bars... With all of the people here who own their own place, you can go to a house party every weekend, usually find one that's pretty great, and most people don't smoke, they make people go outside to do that.

8/23/2005 5:52 PM  

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