Monday, August 08, 2005

chicago! my kind of town...

so i'm on vacation. i'm staying at my best friend's new house. as in, she owns it. i can barely afford my next latte and she has a house. i have 200K of debt, and now she does too, but she actually has a place to live (yeah, i still don't have an apt and now i can't even continue looking until after the 18th when i get back).

for all who are feeling my absence in their comment boxes, sorry. kate doesn't have internet in the house yet so i'm stopping by her parents house to briefly check e-mail but don't have time to run through my bloglines subscriptions. i'll do so when i get to CA.

have done lots of lazing around and surprisingly, it feels good. she has the cutest dogs and i've been fulfilling my dog fix (i'll post pics when i get back). i've always been too tightly wound to appreciate much R&R but i think my body really needed this. although, my body also needs an apt. pronto. shit.

library adonis finally called saturday. said he'd meant to call me every day since last sunday when he thought there might be a chance to get together to play but that work has kept him too busy. i believe him, but a "hey, i got your message and i can't do anything this week" phone call would have been nice. to be fair, i kept myself so busy last week that i didn't notice his lack of phone call as much as i normally would have. i had bigger things to concern myself with (i.e. finding cardboard boxes and scoping out a safe park bench to sleep on, come my impending homelessness).

a funny story for you. S's new roommate T was talking about how this guy eddie responded to her housing ad, saying her ad intrigued him, would she want to get together sometime. she actually called him and went out with him on friday night. i check my e-mail sunday morning to find this:

"Hi Jasmine

Writing to you following up on your inquiry for a room I had available. Unfortunately I will no longer be able to rent the space as I ended upsetting a studio for myself. Yet, after reading your email, I found you nice and easy going. I was intruiged, so I wanted to write you back.

I am 27, easy going, laid back, but outgoing at the same time. I love to laugh and make others laugh. I am attractive about 5'11, 165lbs, light skin, dark brown dyes, dark full hair. I am Latin andIndian mix. My mother is from Brasil, while my father is Indian. I work fora firm in Manhattan as Vice President of network engineering. I love my job, and I have workedhard to be where I am today. I was born and raised in Long Island, NY. I like all kinds of music, to dance, and just go out and have fun. I like todine out, travel to nice places, play sports and just walk around the city. I love to laugh and to make others laugh. I also can speak multiple languages. I am currently unattached.

I am looking for someone nice, who enjoys life,is able to carry a conversation, has goals, and is not into any games with a companion. I would like someone to share good times with, to trust and just have fun together. If this is something that intrests you please email me back and then we can take it from there. I appologize if I offended you inanyway by writing back in this manner. Hope to talk to you soon. !

Eddie"

can you believe that? instead of answering personal ads, he's been answering housing requests. T had gotten the EXACT same e-mail. i want to fuck with this guy. any ideas of what i write him back? i think T and i should teach him not to harass people looking for apartments and to go check out the "men seeking women" section on cragislist instead...

24 people who played with me:

Blogger Gordy said...

You both should definitely fuck with this guy. Start by sending him some well written stories of what you would like to do to him, get him really excited.

Arrange to meet, stand him up, but go incognito and watch what he does.

Both you gals arrange a date for different nights, but at the same time and place and both turn up for the date on the same night.

Always have some guys standing by to back you up of course.

8/08/2005 1:27 PM  
Blogger Popeye said...

Yeah, I'm all for the showing up on the same night thing. Very, verrrry, fun. . . You picked what's looking like one of the hottest possible weeks to visit here. Hope you get some good lake time.

8/08/2005 1:32 PM  
Blogger VespaRosso said...

Jasmine! SO SORRY about that...I was updating my profile and neglected to re-include my blog link. Silly me. Yes, I was hesitant to include certain aspects of this post as well. Glad you stopped in, and yes, I am quite a fan of Ale :)

AND, that Eddie guy is MAJORLY shady. Please mess with him and chronicle is demise here for all of us to enjoy.

8/08/2005 1:35 PM  
Blogger Me said...

How entertaining. People do some crazy stuff (I guess I don't have much room to talk though). It makes me feel better to know that others (you) have school debt looming over them.

I say teach this guy a lesson. I wonder if you guys could arrange something for the same night - one do an afternoon/early dinner and then the other get him for late dinner/movie or something - - then you BOTH stand him up. Getting stood up sucks, but moreso when it's twice in the same night. He'd learn his lesson.

Maybe.

8/08/2005 1:54 PM  
Blogger MEP said...

Oh that is FUNNY. I've never heard of anyone answering housing ads that way. I wonder if he's trying to work the "element of surprise" rather than just going to personal ads like most people. Could give him props for creativity . . . if he hadn't written the same letter to two people who happened to know each other. Hahaha!

8/08/2005 4:42 PM  
Blogger Ale said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!! are you looking for an apt. through roomates.com???
i TOTALY remember this Eddie dude!!! i GOT THE SAME EMAIL!!!! and the only reason i even remeber him is because it was so randome and because he said half brasilian and my ears pirk up anytime brasil is mentioned!!! and i was looking for an app almost 2 yrs ago!! so he's been at it for a while - what a crazy dude-

8/08/2005 4:46 PM  
Blogger Former Intern Andy said...

I just think it'd be funny if you equated getting an apartment with being interested in him, and then, try to bump into him while you're meeting with other people you might potentially rent from.

"Oh gosh," you'll say. "This is awkward. Eddie, it's not what you think! I was just checking out the goods--uh! I mean I was just checking out the plumbing--gah! I mean, he was checking out my plumbing--oh jesus! I mean... IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!"

I could totally see you in that situation, Jasmine.

8/08/2005 6:05 PM  
Blogger Gloria Glo said...

Freakin' frickin' frell. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen. What an opportunist! You have to meet him to give us the scoop. I hope he has a thriving business what with this degree of originality in his sales technique...

8/09/2005 1:32 AM  
Blogger Swipe said...

you should start calling him Crazy Eddie.

whoever thought that renting out an apartment is a way to meet women. I'm willing to bet he's been running that scam for a while now.

You should really stick it to him.

8/09/2005 2:58 AM  
Blogger MEP said...

The plot thickens . . . this is too funny!! You have to meet him and tell us all about it.

8/09/2005 12:24 PM  
Anonymous dulce said...

Jazz i'm ale's friend and let me tell you i got the same email from "eddie" last summer when i was looking for a place! I knew he was mad shady!! God i can't believe he's still up to it and the email is word for word. he hasn't even changed the email around what a creep. You should def f*ck w/him!

8/09/2005 4:49 PM  
Blogger Larry said...

Here's my suggestion:

Eddie,

I recieved your e-mail response to my housing request. I am also intrigued by you. I have always considered latin/indian men sexy and am also of a mixed ethnic background.

I love professional men. And the fact that you love music, dancing, and having fun is a big turn on for me. I also like to dine out, travel, play sports and hike the city. I am fluent in x# of languages and am also currently unattached.

If you are interested in hooking up sometime, you can find me at (insert gay bar with drag show here) on (any night). My stage name is "Jasmine". When we meet I will tell you my real name. I hope you are as fun and open minded as you sound in your letter.

Truly,
Jasmine


I wonder if he would get the hint.

8/09/2005 8:45 PM  
Blogger Nickelplate said...

Both of you give email him and arrange a date, then instead of both standing him up, Show up for the SAME date and watch him try to explain!
You're covered, because as long as it's by email, there's always the chance that he accidentally sent it to both or sent it to one wrong person. If it's by phone, there's less chance he'll believe you of course.

8/09/2005 8:57 PM  
Blogger Nickelplate said...

oh yeah, And I'm an attractive male about 5'11 with brown hair and bright green eyes. I love to (insert sensitive guy/gay stuff here) and (insert girl's main interest here). I am a successful busniessman. I am hung like a cat. Booyah.

8/09/2005 9:00 PM  
Blogger Larry said...

Brad, I can't believe you just gave out your pickup email to a total stranger. And the fact that you admit to being hung like a cat. Dude, keep it to yourself, really.

8/09/2005 9:02 PM  
Blogger Nickelplate said...

You told me women LIKE cats!!!

8/09/2005 9:15 PM  
Blogger omar said...

It's hard for me to criticize this guy, because his scheme worked. If T went out with him, I'd bet he's gotten several other dates this same way. Kinda makes me wish I had thought of that early in my college years...

8/09/2005 9:44 PM  
Blogger Digitalicat said...

My couch is still available. What's that? Right, the 1500 mile commute.

You should call this guy up and invite him to the most painful possible events. Are the Icecapades in town?

8/10/2005 12:32 AM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

what a sleaze. making brasilians and indians look bad. stick it to him, jas. chat him up on e-mail and then send your friend's weimeraner on the date.

actually, i think what would be worse is if you posted his contact info on here and a whole bunch of us bombarded him with ridiculous propositions. it'd probably take something of that magnitude to get through to this guy.

8/10/2005 7:06 AM  
Blogger Ale said...

yeah, and the funny thing is i dont' think he even bothered to UPDATE his AGE since obviously he's gotten older- I think you SHOULD post his letter on craigslist- (but add the fact that he is in to S&M)

8/10/2005 10:47 AM  
Blogger jinius said...

i cant believe that guy! what a loser!

8/10/2005 10:50 AM  
Blogger Nadia said...

TWUNT!!!

Travis doesn't seem so bad now, eh Jazz?

;)

8/10/2005 9:07 PM  
Blogger Digitalicat said...

Twunt? Nice!

8/10/2005 11:39 PM  
Blogger Mister Underhill said...

I suggest the usual of setting him up to meet you in a gay bar or else having a friend meet him and bash him in the face with a sock full of pennies.

8/11/2005 12:32 AM  

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