grey gardens, georgia, 86ing locanda, yankees

i mean, he still looks 20. 

i finally read sloane crosley's "i was told there'd be cake" just in time for her second book to come out. i enjoyed the references to all things having to do with my childhood. we have a lot in common and we must be the same age. dolphin earrings diving through your lobes, oregon trail, carmen sandiego, summer camp, suburban living, we were both almost named jennifer (which, no offense, would have been TRAGIC). i did feel like she had to stretch a fair amount to make stories out of some of these vignettes. felt she was trying a bit hard to be clever. however, she's 1000 times funnier than i am and certainly a better writer and likely smarter than i. her second book i'm sure will show some maturity, i'm looking forward to it.

managed to snag seats in the delta skybox last weekend. am now best friends with the bartender there (who conveniently also works at MSG) and me and my girls drank for free the whole damn time. the seats were all cushy and we were so close to the field that i could have yelled at my boyfriend cano and he definitely would have been able to see me. i'm going to hold off on the crazy antics till i'm close enough to shove my number down his pants. anyone here have field seats? robert the florist for all the mario restaurants says he's got primo seats. wondering what baseline they're on...

my favorite maitre'd is no longer at locanda verde. at this point, i know a handful of people who work there. i've heard a few stories about how management doesn't have anyone's back and a few more stories about how it's not the kind of place you'd stay longer than a year anyhow. too many owners, too much snobbery, too sceney, too many priorities in the wrong place. but the food is excellent and they'll always do good business which, i suppose, is why staff may not be the most important concern. there will always be an actor who needs a job. it's why i admire danny meyer so much. people are going to eat at his restaurants and he's going to make money anyhow. he doesn't have to treat his staff like gold but he does. he doesn't have to go above and beyond on the service side but he does. and i know andrew has his name attached to the place but he's probably checked out since he's opening a new restaurant and who the fuck really wants to deal with deniro and his ilk day in and day out? anyway, when ahiram gets a new job, i'm sending every one of my friends to whatever new places he chooses. i have a good 4 dozen well-connected people who go wherever i tell them to food-wise (and proceed to book their dates or corporate dinners there, etc.) and i couldn't live without returning the favor ahiram gave to me. he was a friendly face to a girl who eats out alone, a lot. and now i'm lucky enough to call him a friend. to bigger and better things!

have committed myself to a pub crawl with dave pasternack. it started with him trashing my favorite dive, saying there were much better dives to spend time at and he'd prove it to me. i'd promised to help him at the lobster roll event which he actually had to drop out of. he was going to return the favor by bringing me to the frankies cookbook party but i had to go to the jed foundation gala instead. then i left for georgia so he called yesterday and pinned me down to a day. i'm already feeling drunk thinking about it. i'm not going to be able to keep up. i'll have to secretly order club sodas and pretend there's vodka in them. will be an adventure, regardless.

speaking of restaurant workers, a good friend has been handling a bunch of cases against restaurant owners who are underpaying their staff (mostly the illegal immigrants who don't realize they actually have rights even if they don't have citizenship). they're easy cases, all you need is a few paystubs and people to sign affidavits as to the fact they all aren't making minimum wage and the owners (who pretty much always know they're being shady bitches) settle up and sign contracts saying they won't fire the current staffers unless for cause (a cause being something OTHER than the fact that they sued). seems like a pretty lucrative business and there is an endless number of restaurants in the city not following the rules. might be time to start striking up bussers and delivery men with a calculator in hand when i go out to dinners from now on...

OMG you guys! we totally went and hung out at grey gardens. we were the chicest people there which ended up being a disappointment. you never want to go anywhere and feel like there's nobody there worth ogling at. the food was hideous but the house and grounds were historic and the cater waiters were cute and our favorite dj was playing so it wasn't all bad.

my week in georgia was southern bliss. home cooked meals in peachtree city and ellijay where i met my namesake, a rust colored hen who ted's mom describes as "the feisty one"that prefers to hang out with the rooster rather than her fellow hens (which, btw, is dangerous because roosters like their own space and will kill another bird in his way). i got head nudged by colin the goat which i was told was the goat version of a nuggie. we drove four wheelers around the 25 acre farm and fed lettuce to the ducks and day old doughnuts to the cows and gilbert the donkey. i pulled an egg from under a chicken and then apologized immediately for stealing her baby, which ted's mom thought was ridiculous (she was right). at the wedding we went skeet shooting with rifles which scared the crap out of me. i was terrified to take the safety off because i didn't like even holding something deadly. the noise was loud. there was a certain amount of satisfaction in sliding out an empty shell. it felt very badass to hear the click and see the casing fly out to the side. but after a few shots i called it quits and when i handed off the gun i realized my hands were shaking something fierce.

Gilbert!

but mostly the wedding was an awful lot of drinking and eating chick-fil-a. all my bests were there and we had a sweet cabin with a pool table and hot tub (sautee resorts, i highly recommend it) and we sang and danced and swam in the river by a covered bridge and ate fried and pickled okra. the ceremony was beautiful and we decked the getaway car in loads of glow in the dark bracelets. the brides dad makes his own wine (they have a small vineyard) and limoncello and the BBQ there is fantastic. but it was HOT. i'd call it steamy and disgusting but if you were being optimistic, it would be "sultry." 

this is going to be too much information but i had an annual ladyparts visit today, mentioned some period irregularity and was given an ultrasound. it's a strange thing to get an ultrasound when you're not trying to be pregnant. i mean i'm NOT pregnant. no chance in hell. but then she's sticking that wand up there and you think, "hm, hope she doesn't find a heartbeat!" she did not. but my uterus is pointed the wrong way and i have teeny ovaries. all this time i've lived my life without having the slightest idea whether my reproductive organs were even all there and functioning. strange. not that i was ever planning on having children to begin with but strange to think how much i don't know about my own damn body at this point in life.