Thursday, March 02, 2006

a series of unfortunate events: the END of work boyfriend

note: see the next post for my HNT!!

as for the breakup of me and work boyfriend, it sucks. like his beloved porche carrera that goes from zero to 60 in seconds, he went from perfect man to total sleaze in the same amount of time.

weeks ago he told me he thought he'd go to vail to go skiing with some guy friends. i found out today that by "i'm going to vail to ski with friends" that he meant, "i have a girl on the side who lives in mexico city and i'm spending $400 to fly her in for the weekend." it was premeditated, as he told me about vail weeks ago but just bought the tickets for mexican girlfriend yesterday for her birthday. i gave him the chance to tell me the truth, i told him about how i saw an airline confirmation from her in his inbox and he fed me some shit about how she was going to visit her father in philly and he told her he'd be in vail so wouldn't be able to meet up with her. and even as i told him i'd actually clicked into the e-mail and knew he bought her the ticket here and was breaking up with him he never got the balls together to tell me the truth. he kept mumbling some nonsense about how he was gonna tell me, that she knew he had a girlfriend, that he wasn't going to hook up with her and it was platonic, that her father lived in new york, that she was paying for half the ticket, that he felt really bad as he was buying the ticket, blah, blah, blah. at a point the dialogue in my head asked, "is he even still talking?"

mexican girlfriend is costing this guy tons! the night work boyfriend met mexican girlfriend two months ago she dialed up his last ex-girlfriend and told her to leave him alone, that she was his new girlfriend. the ex who received that call went out and put a marc jacobs bag and david yurman bracelet on a nieman marcus card that he forgot to get back from her after the breakup.

unexpected charges on nieman marcus card: $1200
plane ticket for mexican girlfriend: $404

losing best thing he's ever had...priceless.
i really hope she was worth it. i hope she comes out and gives him the best goddamn weekend of his life. no, wait. i hope she moves her mexican ass over here to spend the rest of her life with him because i'm not going to be the poor slob to do it.

"give me one more chance," he begs. that's how sorry and stupid he thinks i am. how little respect he ever had for me. if he really knew me, he'd know that i respect myself too much to do anything but walk away from someone who lies and cheats. he'd know that i deserve better. he says he cares about me more than he's ever cared for anyone else which makes me grateful that i'm not the other girls to whom he must have done some AWFUL stuff if this is his how he treats someone he really cares about. i need only to be cared for in a trusting relationship and he scores a big flaming zero on both counts. i've never seen anything like this and the weirdness of it verges on insanity. in fact, when recounting the story to my friends, i kept laughing out loud at the horrendous things he was saying to me. "we can't break up, you're coming to meet my parents!" wha??? "i just wanted her trip to be over so i could cut her out of my life and spend the rest of it with you!" oh, please! (he bought the ticket two days ago. that's how hard he wished for her to be out of his life...) "i'm a good person, i just made one mistake!" huh?? he even told me that he loved me, at which point i actually did laugh directly in his face. the guy is out of his mind. if we're having a great time, i'm fucking him like crazy and he STILL needs his mexican girlfriend...well, houston, we've got problems.

this is probably the all time best situation for a break up. he disgusts me so much that i'm just happy to see him out of my life. i'm happy i found out he was a supreme ass now, as opposed to four months from now when he really might have done some damage. i'm not even sad at his loss, just disappointed that i wasted so much time before i realized who he really was. i can walk into work with my head high because he's the jerk with two girlfriends. and it's good motivation to get myself out of that damn office and into a more satisfying (if lower paying) job.

the optimist in me thinks: "wow, things were great (until i discovered what scum he was) and i can't wait to find the guy who is everything that i thought work boyfriend was who i can trust and who really does care about me." that, my friends, will be the relationship of a lifetime and i can't wait to find it.

so everyone say a collective "ciao!" to work boyfriend... *waving*

and say "hello!" to a better, stronger, more single jazz...in strange places. can i get a huzzah?

40 people who played with me:

Blogger piu piu said...

wo what a prick.

did u get a marc jacobs bag out of it tho? i'd rather have a bag than a boyfriend....

i have an indian friend who has a similar story.....but itwas her boyfriend of 2 years...ouch!

i'd celebrate yeh!

3/02/2006 2:25 AM  
Anonymous Beth said...

Wow...what a moron.

Some men just never know when they've got a good thing.

I'm glad you're okay though..

At least you got some good shoes out of it!

3/02/2006 3:02 AM  
Blogger Osbasso said...

Ciao! *waving too*

Some of my gender can be such assholes! Sorry to hear you're single again, but you're much better off!

3/02/2006 3:33 AM  
Blogger robmcj said...

As you say, you do deserve better.

At least you got some fun out of it, plus those shoes, and wasn't there an orgasm or two?

Sounds like you're taking it well. Good luck.

3/02/2006 4:39 AM  
Anonymous JBJ said...

In correct order...

Ciao! *Wave*

Hello!

Huzzah!

3/02/2006 5:13 AM  
Blogger JustJunebug said...

dumbass.

glad you're good though jazzy!!!

3/02/2006 9:42 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

you will find the right guy he is out there looking for you also

3/02/2006 9:54 AM  
Blogger colonialave said...

Ciao work boyfriend!

Let's hope mexican girlfriend brings some a special "over the border surprise" for him that causes his dick to rot off.

Tee hee.

I'm proud of you Jazz.

3/02/2006 10:18 AM  
Blogger Ale said...

ok, he is an idiot on soooo many levels, lets do a brief rundown of top ten shall we??

10. needs to think of better excuses than going to vail

9. dont buy tikets for mexican girl and leave email open for current girl possibly to see
(Computer programs/email and how to use them- now free lessons at the Learning Center)!!!

8-1 Jazz is HOT!!!

whatever, i'm sure you've got some nice bounces out of him, he served his purpose- NEXT!

3/02/2006 10:31 AM  
Blogger Wags said...

Au revoir work bf!
Sigh. What a dumbass.

I had a theory involving single guys, money, and sex, but that's all bullshit. If he isn't strong enough to see what he had then he needs to go. There are better guys then him out there for you.

3/02/2006 10:44 AM  
Blogger stretch td said...

Sorry to hear that the work b-friend turned out to be such a jerk. His loss! You are better off without him.

3/02/2006 10:59 AM  
Blogger art said...

sorry to hear this happened

3/02/2006 11:53 AM  
Blogger Gordy said...

Wow, the guy is clearly an idiot. We have all seen the pictures and you are hottttttt. Not to mention funny, intelligent and clearly a great catch.

Don't worry, (not that you seem to be) the right guy is just around the corner.

Sending great thoughts your way!

3/02/2006 12:54 PM  
Blogger Joefish said...

Does he still read, do you think?

I hope so.

Buh-bye, dickhead!

3/02/2006 1:39 PM  
Blogger Becky said...

this post came just in time. I was about to go into a thirty paragraph diatribe about how lonely i am without a fella, and then i read this, and your self-assured, dontdatehimgirl.com-attitude have lifted my spirits.

sorry that he sucks out loud. i'll kick his ass for you if you want.

3/02/2006 1:59 PM  
Anonymous Myexwascrazytoo said...

Guys are idiots sometimes! I was dating someone... we were together for 2 years and we graduated college, at which time he moved back home 600 miles away from me... or so he said. I found out when I saw him next to me on the freeway and he was on the phone telling me he was at a meeting in his town 600 miles away.... after checking his email, that he still lived in the same area code as me and was dating a new girl 600 miles away and calling me 2hrs a day to say how much he missed me and wished he could come visit! Creepy!

Rock on you! Youwill find MUCH better.

3/02/2006 2:24 PM  
Blogger browser58 said...

Damn, I cna't imagine where his brain is?? I know, I know, but you are more woman than he deserves in all ways, so, just where is his brain? Nowhere that the sun shines, I am sure.

CIAO!
Hello!
Huzzah!

If you need a new photographer - I may not be good, but I am enthusiastic.

3/02/2006 2:30 PM  
Blogger ian llorens said...

Lots of faithful people in this blog.

Once I was also multitasking (terrible shame) and I learnt that a good password like #$%^&*(#$%^&*(YFKKK$%^&*$$$^&,./<>?:"[]{}+_= is worth a million dollars.

I hope that now you will appreciate why I would like all Mexican hats banned from Barcelona souvenir shops. If HNT number 18 would have been of the Mexican girl-friend, we would have only seen the toes.

No hay mal que dure cien aƱos!!

3/02/2006 4:29 PM  
Blogger pentopaper said...

Thank God you found out sooner than later! I have friends who marrioed this guy.

3/02/2006 5:33 PM  
Blogger scribe called steff said...

I hate to break with the voice of the masses, but honestly, it's not the worst thing that could've happened, and it's not too unbelievable. Sucks, yes. Too bad, yes.

But let me say something from an older-wiser point of view.

First of all, it'd be nice if guys didn't make colossal fucking mistakes sometimes. But they do. Once and a while, they realize it and the regret is profound. The rest of the time, they're idiots. Younger, the mistakes are less calculating or deep. At your age, my age, and older, the mistakes get larger and more affective. It happens.

Second of all, I'm not saying give him another chance, but I *AM* saying that if he has something to say, you should listen. Why?

Because I wish I had.

You've read my Saga of J? It's not done, why? Because one of my only love regrets ever was as a result of that experience. I never gave him another chance. I found out he was still seeing my friend, D, while we were fucking. It was only two weeks, but in my blind rage I told him he was a prick for seeing me while he was still with her, et al. I told him to never call me again.

More than a decade later, I wonder what would have been had I cut him slack and just investigated. Now that he knew the price of his actions and the magnamity of the consequences, what we he now do? And was I anymore perfect than he was? Sure, maybe I never did that, but had I knowingly hurt a person in the past? Yeah, I had.

Still, I took the high road, told him to fuck off, and to this day wish I'd just taken a little more time to make sure I was doing it in a way I could live with in the years to follow. And I hadn't. And I regret it.

So, yeah, all right, everyone's doing the rah-rah-you-get-'em-sister chant, but let's face it. J was the first man to ever take me to that sexually orgasmic place, to really let me break down the walls of apprehension, and to get me totally into the moment. I felt it, I trusted him, and I felt betrayed. I reacted emotionally and didn't consider outside scenarios.

I'm just saying, don't wind up like me wondering where things might've gone if I'd heard his story and maybe found some understanding. Don't be a victim, don't let him take advantage of you, but don't ride off in a wave of ignorance on your moral high horse, either. Try to find a place in between, where you look at it all objectively.

And then, if being single makes sense, try to really enjoy yourself and go there without anger. It's a big world of men, and at least he gave you the gift of the orgasm, right?

-steff.

3/02/2006 6:30 PM  
Blogger scribe called steff said...

what we he now do? = what would he now do?

3/02/2006 6:30 PM  
Blogger Syar said...

yeah work boyfriend, buh-bye. I should have known you were too good to be true.

what a skeaze.

I don't know what else to say except we all know this little blip isn't going to bring you down and that you'll keep skipping through life. in killer shoes. :-)

3/02/2006 8:21 PM  
Blogger jinius said...

holy crap! this sounds just like something i went through right outta college. I was seeing a guy pretty seriously and he told me one day that he was going to nashville to see his folks and it just seemed fishy to me for some reason so I peeked at his email and sure enough his ex girlfriend from home was flying in to see him. the sad thing is that when i confronted him and he apologized--i stayed. I wasted a year of putting up w/his crap. So hold your head up high and be proud in the fact that you dont need his pathetic ass. I wish I had the balls to do that. Assholes in life are inevitable and inescapable. But they will just make you appreciate the real thing even more when he comes. Good luck. Stay strong.

3/02/2006 8:29 PM  
Blogger Demosthenes said...

That is a nice car though... nothing in comparison to you however; his loss.

3/02/2006 8:54 PM  
Anonymous Aria said...

Sounds like he is pretty rich for his age, isn't he? Those gorgeous dinners, that pair of Chloes shoes, an airline ticket for a second girlfriend... But as you exactly said, there is indeed something money cannot buy.

Good for ya, Jazz. Hopefully the ex work boyfriend will learn something out of his loss.

3/02/2006 9:55 PM  
Anonymous Aria said...

Oh and I forgot to mention the porche carrera ;)

3/02/2006 10:16 PM  
Blogger TJ said...

What an ass--and like you said, better to find out sooner rather than later.

But in the end, if the experience made you a better and stronger person, then it was worthwhile.

And fantastic pic for HNT below--that might be one of the sexiest poses ever...

3/02/2006 10:44 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Ciao, ass hole.

Huzzah!

And Jazz, you rock my socks.

3/02/2006 11:56 PM  
Blogger tinyhands said...

Men are idiots. xox

3/03/2006 12:05 AM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

jaz, you're a gem. rock those shoes and forget him; you don't need such a loser. but i'm really sorry this happened to you.

as for what steff said, i'm going to have to disagree. you see, a long time ago i was the girl who DID give another chance. and another. AND ANOTHER. and no matter how great certain things were, at the root of it all he was an insensitive, selfish liar and he probably still is -- which is easy to forget when it's been a long time since you've experienced the bad stuff. the only good thing about having given chances is that is now i won't wonder. because if i had broken up with him even the second or third time, i always would have.

it's much better to cut your losses when you see a man for what he truly is, rather than let him prove it to you over and over at the cost of your feelings and your time.

3/03/2006 1:22 AM  
Blogger omar said...

Huzzah!

Girls, skip over this next paragraph.
----

Work ex-boyfriend, if you're still reading, how do you have girls in two separate countries and get caught? They're in different countries, man. Thousands of miles apart. That's just lazy, dude. My brother dated two ROOMMATES longer than you had this going. L-A-Z-Y.

------

OK girls, you can read again.

3/03/2006 7:37 AM  
Blogger Jon said...

Ciao Dickhead! Fucking moron

I'm sorry this had to happen, but like you I am glad it happened now instead of later.

I am in shock that a guy could be that stupid. You are an amazing woman (brains and beauty... wow), so for him to even risk blowing that means he thinks he is Gods gift.

There are some people in this world that deserve a 2x4 across the forehead.

I am personally glad that he is gone. His HNT pics of you kind of sucked. I guess I could see why though. Having you naked in the same room, I would not be able to hold a camera still either ;)

XXXXXX

3/03/2006 10:15 AM  
Blogger Callie said...

I'm glad you blew him off. He so wasn't worth you.

While I understand where Steff is coming from, if you don't feel heartbroken about it, then he obviously wasn't the one for you.

And if you had forgiven him, he would have kept doing it. Or, you would never trust him not to do it. Believe me - I know. Happened way too many times in my relationships.

So - ciao to the work butt-head. Huzzah to you Jazz. And best of luck finding a better job for yourself.

3/03/2006 2:15 PM  
Blogger R. U. Serious said...

Do not buy the "listen to what he has to say" bullshit.

I will say this point blank. No guy is gonna spend all that money on a chick he isn't planning on nailing. And based on her behavior when he dumped someone else for her, she is a psycho bitch. As an expert on dating crazy women, I can say that any guy still serious with a crazy woman is a trainwreck waiting to happpen. You got lucky that you got off before the train derailed.

3/04/2006 1:54 AM  
Blogger iluvnyc said...

guys are just confused and confusing creatures... :)

3/04/2006 10:27 AM  
Blogger scribe called steff said...

Oh, people, now, I wasn't saying take the fucker back, I'm saying don't go being spastic or anything -- handle it calmly, let him speak his piece, and if she's still down with walking, walk.

I never gave my guy the chance to speak and always wish I had. Maybe wouldn't have changed a fucking thing, but at least I wouldn't wonder.

The guy fucked up, probably isn't worth the effort, but y'know, life's too short to blow out of situations without handling them with maturity and intelligence so as to stave off regret later, that's all.

Not that Jazz wasn't being mature or intelligent. I'm just saying you guys might be underestimating, also, the mental/emotion connection a chick can develop wiht a guy who finally delivers the big O after years of trying to get there, too. Best to handle carefully, that's all.

I feel all slagged now. Hah.

3/04/2006 1:15 PM  
Blogger aria said...

I'm sorry you feel slagged, Steff, and let me also say I can see where you are coming from. However, I think Jazz did give the guy the chance to tell her the truth. She did let him speak his piece. And all she got out of his mouth was a bunch of nonsense. Not only the fact he cheated but the way he dealt with the get-caught situation revealed his true colors.

That's how I read Jazz's post.

You know, our comments are all just opinions coming from what each of us has *personally* experienced and learned. Say, you feel people might be underestimating the emotional connection a girl has with a guy who brings her the big O at last, but I feel you might be somewhat overestimating what the big O may mean in relationships generally. I'm not saying the O is unimportant. It's just everyone is different, and each situation is different, that's all.

The important thing is Jazz reads all the comments and talks with her friends and it's all up to her what she decides and how she takes responsibility for her own choice. But having read her blog for some time now, I think Jazz fully knows what she is doing and what she wants in her life.

3/04/2006 6:54 PM  
Blogger MEP said...

So Jazz, I'm just glad you got some orgasms out of this thing before he turned out to be a hideous jerk.

And you're right - the guy who is everything you thought work boyfriend would be will be absolutely amazing.

3/05/2006 8:00 PM  
Blogger Gloria Glo said...

Well - losing you is the worst punishment you could inflict. Jerk.

3/05/2006 9:55 PM  
Blogger Alisa said...

Yay Jazz! Now you'll be back to your normal un-ga-ga-in-love self!

3/07/2006 12:23 AM  

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