a series of unfortunate events: the END of work boyfriend
note: see the next post for my HNT!!
as for the breakup of me and work boyfriend, it sucks. like his beloved porche carrera that goes from zero to 60 in seconds, he went from perfect man to total sleaze in the same amount of time.
weeks ago he told me he thought he'd go to vail to go skiing with some guy friends. i found out today that by "i'm going to vail to ski with friends" that he meant, "i have a girl on the side who lives in mexico city and i'm spending $400 to fly her in for the weekend." it was premeditated, as he told me about vail weeks ago but just bought the tickets for mexican girlfriend yesterday for her birthday. i gave him the chance to tell me the truth, i told him about how i saw an airline confirmation from her in his inbox and he fed me some shit about how she was going to visit her father in philly and he told her he'd be in vail so wouldn't be able to meet up with her. and even as i told him i'd actually clicked into the e-mail and knew he bought her the ticket here and was breaking up with him he never got the balls together to tell me the truth. he kept mumbling some nonsense about how he was gonna tell me, that she knew he had a girlfriend, that he wasn't going to hook up with her and it was platonic, that her father lived in new york, that she was paying for half the ticket, that he felt really bad as he was buying the ticket, blah, blah, blah. at a point the dialogue in my head asked, "is he even still talking?"
mexican girlfriend is costing this guy tons! the night work boyfriend met mexican girlfriend two months ago she dialed up his last ex-girlfriend and told her to leave him alone, that she was his new girlfriend. the ex who received that call went out and put a marc jacobs bag and david yurman bracelet on a nieman marcus card that he forgot to get back from her after the breakup.
unexpected charges on nieman marcus card: $1200i really hope she was worth it. i hope she comes out and gives him the best goddamn weekend of his life. no, wait. i hope she moves her mexican ass over here to spend the rest of her life with him because i'm not going to be the poor slob to do it.
plane ticket for mexican girlfriend: $404
losing best thing he's ever had...priceless.
"give me one more chance," he begs. that's how sorry and stupid he thinks i am. how little respect he ever had for me. if he really knew me, he'd know that i respect myself too much to do anything but walk away from someone who lies and cheats. he'd know that i deserve better. he says he cares about me more than he's ever cared for anyone else which makes me grateful that i'm not the other girls to whom he must have done some AWFUL stuff if this is his how he treats someone he really cares about. i need only to be cared for in a trusting relationship and he scores a big flaming zero on both counts. i've never seen anything like this and the weirdness of it verges on insanity. in fact, when recounting the story to my friends, i kept laughing out loud at the horrendous things he was saying to me. "we can't break up, you're coming to meet my parents!" wha??? "i just wanted her trip to be over so i could cut her out of my life and spend the rest of it with you!" oh, please! (he bought the ticket two days ago. that's how hard he wished for her to be out of his life...) "i'm a good person, i just made one mistake!" huh?? he even told me that he loved me, at which point i actually did laugh directly in his face. the guy is out of his mind. if we're having a great time, i'm fucking him like crazy and he STILL needs his mexican girlfriend...well, houston, we've got problems.
this is probably the all time best situation for a break up. he disgusts me so much that i'm just happy to see him out of my life. i'm happy i found out he was a supreme ass now, as opposed to four months from now when he really might have done some damage. i'm not even sad at his loss, just disappointed that i wasted so much time before i realized who he really was. i can walk into work with my head high because he's the jerk with two girlfriends. and it's good motivation to get myself out of that damn office and into a more satisfying (if lower paying) job.
the optimist in me thinks: "wow, things were great (until i discovered what scum he was) and i can't wait to find the guy who is everything that i thought work boyfriend was who i can trust and who really does care about me." that, my friends, will be the relationship of a lifetime and i can't wait to find it.
so everyone say a collective "ciao!" to work boyfriend... *waving*
and say "hello!" to a better, stronger, more single jazz...in strange places. can i get a huzzah?