MadLibs...in strange places
Welcome to MadLibs by Omar!
Ed. note: while jasmine is off studying for the bar, she's rounded up some forces to keep the readers happy while she's gone. enjoy!
if anybody comes up with a particularly funny line, feel free to share it in the comments.
also, on a sidenote: since the bar is here soon, if i'm gonna make a move on my tech crush i have to do it soon. he's really pretty and doesn't know it and is really shy. i have no idea what his name is but i think i'd be sad to never see him again. i definitely don't know him well enough to know if i'd really like him or have anything in common with him. you think i make the move or not? just to see? and if so, any suggestions on how to do it? he makes me nervous.
posted by jazz @ 10:17 PM
34 people who played with me:
LMAO! I put in jerkey as my first noun, and its funny to think that jazz would rush to grab preserved meat on her way to her bar exam. and she ran 67 blocks. such stamina, and still enough energy to flash unsuspecting limo drivers.
i'm loving these pix and mix blog posts!
i meant cab driver. oops. tomayto, tomahto eh?
are these funny enough?
She picked up her pencils, iPod, and chicken, then scurried out the door.
He narrowly missed hitting a Cow on the sidewalk when he took a corner a little too tight!
"oy! breaks over! hop in!"
um..and why aren't all these celebrities begging to give me rides?! they should pay ME to get me to ride in their limos ;)
She went to get cherries with the janitor that looks like Mel Gibson.
That was great. How did you do it, clever person?
"how about you go on a break and take a girl out for some pork rinds?"
Sweet! Nice one, Omar.
amber: if only i were so cutting edge. it's all omar's work.
r.u.: i LOVE the skinny old guys. actually, i recently saw him in mamet's glengarry. it was awesome.
digi: pork rinds. ick.
Haha, that was fun! Great job Omar! My Denzel Washington janitor went to get tomatoes with Jasmin. I didn't choose the funniest nouns I guess. She picked out a pink sock and the cab driver almost hit a dog. I might be boring. :( lol.
Omar, that was the best mad libs since second grade! Great job, you are so stinkin funny!
Jazz, fab idea to have guest bloggers on your site...and the talent!
The driver skillfully weaved through traffic towards their destination. He narrowly missed hitting a Penis on the sidewalk when he took a corner a little too tight! When they arrived, the time on her iPod was 8:56. 'Thanks!' Jasmine yelled. She threw $23 on the seat and slammed the door.
'$23 and a look at those boobs? No, thank you, Honey Bunny,' he replied with a grin.
Whoops! Let me just fish my mind out...of...the...gutter-there we go!
This might be completely unoriginal but just ask the guy out for a latte, or whatever you New Yorkers are into...
:D
'Sorry Chiquita Banana, I'm on my break,' he mumbled.
'How about now?' she said, as she flashed the driver.
'Freakin' Foul!!!! Break's over, hop in!'
G.Lo language run amock!
And, jas - not that this will surprise you from me - but give it a shot. You only live once and this guy will be gone soon. He's cute, shy, and tech-ish. Perfect for a greet and see (aka flirt fly-by in glo's world). It will be pretty obvious if he's interested or not, so just go for it. You got the, uh, "talents" you need...and I'm kinda weirded out now to have given *you* advice. Topsy Turvy world...
'Sorry Pumpkin Nuts, I'm on my break,' he mumbled.
'How about now?' she said, as she flashed the driver.
'Gee Willikers!!! Break's over, hop in!'
Your friend D definitely gets around. She also slept with Bozo the Clown.
Make your move Jazz--especially with tech guys it's easy enough to ask some kind of question about your computer or a website or something . . .
And you're out for raisins with a fargo-like Steve Buscemi-esque janitor as I type . . .
cheers!~
omar, your mad libs are the coolest and you rock.
though the driver must have been blind to miss Siberia on the sidewalk.
jazz, go for it. we'll expect a full report, too.
as if, ear ring, malasian, stick, Danny Tanner, 867-5309, cunt, dude, pigfucker, 666, Al Bundy, Dutch, steamed eggs
made a good read
After Reservoir Dogs, it's kind of a shock that Tim Roth couldn't find work outside the janitorial industry.
Is it weird that both guest bloggers have had jasmine flashing? (I wrote that story before reading cadiz12's post, but I didn't want to change it.)
On a related note, maybe that'll be the way to make a move on the tech guy.
'Holy Crap!!! It's eight o'clock already!!
Jasmine jumped out of her bed. She forgot to set her alarm, and the bar exam starts at 9:00 sharp! She ran to the bathroom to freshen up, then to the closet. She had a hard time deciding which boy shorts to wear, but she didn't want to waste time, so she grabbed the cute pink one.
She picked up her pencils, iPod, and lipstick, then scurried out the door. She had no idea how she was going to get to her exam on time. Right then, she saw Colin Ferrell outside of her building getting into his limo.
'Hey Colin Ferrell, remember me?!?!! Can you give me a ride to my exam?' Jasmine yelled.
'Sorry, no,' he replied, as he ducked into his car.
'Screw you anyway! My friend D slept with you last week, and she says you've got a small dick!' Jasmine yelled. She began running down the street.
867 blocks down the road, she knew this wasn't going to be fast enough. She needed to find a cab. She saw one on the corner, and ran over to the window. 'Can you take me to my exam? I have to be there in 20 minutes!'
'Sorry Sugarbritches, I'm on my break,' he mumbled.
'How about now?' she said, as she flashed the driver.
'Jesus Christ!!!! Break's over, hop in!'
The driver skillfully weaved through traffic towards their destination. He narrowly missed hitting a car on the sidewalk when he took a corner a little too tight! When they arrived, the time on her iPod was 8:56. 'Thanks!' Jasmine yelled. She threw $579 on the seat and slammed the door.
'$579 and a look at those boobs? No, thank you, Sugarbritches,' he replied with a grin.
Jasmine ran in the building and up the stairs to the exam room. She opened the door - there was nobody inside!! Panicked, she found a janitor in the building and asked him if he knew about the exam.
'Yes, the exam is here, but it is next Saturday, not today,' he said.
'For fuck's sake!!' she screamed. Then she looked closer at the janitor. He was hot, kind of like Heath Ledger in Boys of Dogtown.
She composed herself and batted her eyes. 'But since I've got nothing to do now, how about you go on a break and take a girl out for some biscuits?'
waw- my story came out perfect-
The Bar Exam
'Hurry!!! It's eight o'clock already!!'
Jasmine jumped out of her bed. She forgot to set her alarm, and the bar exam starts at 9:00 sharp! She ran to the bathroom to freshen up, then to the closet. She had a hard time deciding which prada shoe to wear, but she didn't want to waste time, so she grabbed the cute burgundy one.
She picked up her pencils, iPod, and can, then scurried out the door. She had no idea how she was going to get to her exam on time. Right then, she saw elijah woods outside of her building getting into his limo.
'Hey elijah woods, remember me?!?!! Can you give me a ride to my exam?' Jasmine yelled.
'Sorry, no,' he replied, as he ducked into his car.
'Screw you anyway! My friend D slept with you last week, and she says you've got a small dick!' Jasmine yelled. She began running down the street.
24 blocks down the road, she knew this wasn't going to be fast enough. She needed to find a cab. She saw one on the corner, and ran over to the window. 'Can you take me to my exam? I have to be there in 20 minutes!'
'Sorry cookie dough, I'm on my break,' he mumbled.
'How about now?' she said, as she flashed the driver.
'Comeon!!!!!! Break's over, hop in!'
The driver skillfully weaved through traffic towards their destination. He narrowly missed hitting a notebook on the sidewalk when he took a corner a little too tight! When they arrived, the time on her iPod was 8:56. 'Thanks!' Jasmine yelled. She threw $33 on the seat and slammed the door.
'$33 and a look at those boobs? No, thank you, cookie dough,' he replied with a grin.
Jasmine ran in the building and up the stairs to the exam room. She opened the door - there was nobody inside!! Panicked, she found a janitor in the building and asked him if he knew about the exam.
'Yes, the exam is here, but it is next Saturday, not today,' he said.
'For fuck's sake!!' she screamed. Then she looked closer at the janitor. He was hot, kind of like brad pitt in troy.
She composed herself and batted her eyes. 'But since I've got nothing to do now, how about you go on a break and take a girl out for some bananas?'
ps: just throw the boy against some old monitors and do it!
"She picked up her pencils, iPod, and dingo ball, then scurried out the door."
Go for it with Tech Crush. You'll always wonder "what if?" Years (and years ago) I had a crush on this dude... I thought he was totally straight so I never tried anything. Turns out he was gay and fooled around with a bunch of my friends... Could I have had him? Who knows, I never tried... (I still think about him--he was fucking flawless) GO FOR IT!
Jasmine, I wanted to leave a story, but I'm affraid after you've seen my site that you wouldn't let me. It would probably just get deleted. Oh well. I'll spare you the twisted sense of humor that is jodifosterturkeybaster.
what a coincidence i just met a cute, shy tech guy too! i ruined my opportunity by getting too drunk but i was thinking of emailing him. if u make a move i'll do it too ;)
The Bar Exam
'I can't believe I stayed up all night masturbating!! It's eight o'clock already!!'
Jasmine jumped out of her bed. She forgot to set her alarm, and the bar exam starts at 9:00 sharp! She ran to the bathroom to freshen up, then to the closet. She had a hard time deciding which midevil knight gear to wear, but she didn't want to waste time, so she grabbed the cute puke green one.
She picked up her pencils, iPod, and ultra vibe 3000, then scurried out the door. She had no idea how she was going to get to her exam on time. Right then, she saw Alex Trabeck outside of her building getting into his limo.
'Hey Alex Trabeck, remember me?!?!! Can you give me a ride to my exam?' Jasmine yelled.
'Sorry, no,' he replied, as he ducked into his car.
'Screw you anyway! My friend D slept with you last week, and she says you've got a small dick!' Jasmine yelled. She began running down the street.
1 blocks down the road, she knew this wasn't going to be fast enough. She needed to find a cab. She saw one on the corner, and ran over to the window. 'Can you take me to my exam? I have to be there in 20 minutes!'
'Sorry sex freak, I'm on my break,' he mumbled.
'How about now?' she said, as she flashed the driver.
'Holy Honey Suckers!!! Break's over, hop in!'
The driver skillfully weaved through traffic towards their destination. He narrowly missed hitting a midget with one leg on the sidewalk when he took a corner a little too tight! When they arrived, the time on her iPod was 8:56. 'Thanks!' Jasmine yelled. She threw $100 on the seat and slammed the door.
'$100 and a look at those boobs? No, thank you, sex freak,' he replied with a grin.
Jasmine ran in the building and up the stairs to the exam room. She opened the door - there was nobody inside!! Panicked, she found a janitor in the building and asked him if he knew about the exam.
'Yes, the exam is here, but it is next Saturday, not today,' he said.
'For fuck's sake!!' she screamed. Then she looked closer at the janitor. He was hot, kind of like John Longson in Scent of a Weenis 6.
She composed herself and batted her eyes. 'But since I've got nothing to do now, how about you go on a break and take a girl out for some innocent sex that will help me get an 'A' on the exam, I don't care if you clean toilets for a living, you're plunger is hot and I take it in the butt!?'
Sorry Jasmine, I couldn't help it
Holy shit, that was hilarious and clever!
I picked Red Panties...and sushi.
things in the street: a penis, a small child dressed as elvis, a midget with one leg, cow.
married and jodi: [shaking head]
re: tech guy. he makes me so unbelievably nervous! i get flustered and blushed i can't talk. it's not normal!
i think that unbelievably cute...and definitely worth taking a chance.
for jasmine :
belated good luck for the bar, go for it with the tech guy (and don't live like me, constantly chicken shit to approach guys) and as to your comment on my blog : i try to be stupid, but i just can't!! *pout*
Kudoz Omar!
And about the tech guy-- You could pretend he's a taxi driver and you're late for the exam... That seems to work...
;)
He was hot, kind of like George Clooney in Oh Brother Where Art Thou.
He was hot, kind of like Mike Meyers in So I Married an Axe Murderer.
Ha.
Jaz: As for tech boy, I say go for it. As a tech boy myself, I have to say I love it when girls ask me out (if only it happened more often). Just be casual about it and see if he wants to go have coffee or something. Of course that might have been the most hypocritical thing I have ever written given my ability to put my foot into my mouth anytime I try to ask someone out.
jazz, hurry up and make a move on techboy -- wondering will distract you from studying. besides, inquiring minds want to know.
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The Bar Exam
'Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick!!! It's eight o'clock already!!'
Jasmine jumped out of her bed. She forgot to set her alarm, and the bar exam starts at 9:00 sharp! She ran to the bathroom to freshen up, then to the closet. She had a hard time deciding which Crotchless panties to wear, but she didn't want to waste time, so she grabbed the cute black one.
She picked up her pencils, iPod, and sofabed, then scurried out the door. She had no idea how she was going to get to her exam on time. Right then, she saw Joe DiMaggio outside of her building getting into his limo.
'Hey Joe DiMaggio, remember me?!?!! Can you give me a ride to my exam?' Jasmine yelled.
'Sorry, no,' he replied, as he ducked into his car.
'Screw you anyway! My friend D slept with you last week, and she says you've got a small dick!' Jasmine yelled. She began running down the street.
32 blocks down the road, she knew this wasn't going to be fast enough. She needed to find a cab. She saw one on the corner, and ran over to the window. 'Can you take me to my exam? I have to be there in 20 minutes!'
'Sorry LoveMuffin, I'm on my break,' he mumbled.
'How about now?' she said, as she flashed the driver.
'Geez-Louise!!!! Break's over, hop in!'
The driver skillfully weaved through traffic towards their destination. He narrowly missed hitting a Mouse on the sidewalk when he took a corner a little too tight! When they arrived, the time on her iPod was 8:56. 'Thanks!' Jasmine yelled. She threw $27 on the seat and slammed the door.
'$27 and a look at those boobs? No, thank you, LoveMuffin,' he replied with a grin.
Jasmine ran in the building and up the stairs to the exam room. She opened the door - there was nobody inside!! Panicked, she found a janitor in the building and asked him if he knew about the exam.
'Yes, the exam is here, but it is next Saturday, not today,' he said.
'For fuck's sake!!' she screamed. Then she looked closer at the janitor. He was hot, kind of like Brad Pitt in The Mexican.
She composed herself and batted her eyes. 'But since I've got nothing to do now, how about you go on a break and take a girl out for some Strawberries?'
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