Tuesday, June 28, 2005

is there a chiropractor in the house?

I’m dog-sitting for the next week. For my friend pretty’s ex-girlfriend, skinny, which is a little weird, but we ran into each other on the street and she asked and I felt bad saying no. BUT she has the most beautiful weimaraner so I’m pretty happy to have some doggy company. I miss it dearly. Also, I get to use her tres chic gym membership for the week so will hopefully go to lots of cool new pilates or dance classes. Skinny is the one who went on dates with jon cusak and Carson daly. Also, since then TOPHER GRACE has been pursuing her. But he lives in CA and she’s not all about that apparently. The thing that kills me is that shes skinny and blond and pretty, but she’s not Giselle. I’ve asked her how she does it. She said that she went to some prep school and that she’s stayed in contact with some of them and chalks it all up to money. She’s like, “I went to college and they all thought I was nuts, they had millions of mommy and daddy’s money and just did whatever.” So one of these friends is dating someone in the band “the killers” (don’t ask which member, I have no idea) so she’s been meeting all these people that way. My theory is that famous people want to meet normal people but don’t know how. I think that’s why they’re always hitting on their waitresses. Most places celebrities go, there are tons of teeny boppers going crazy over them. To meet a normal non-celebrity must be damn near impossible.

Also, I think I very well may have thrown my back out. I was walking home and passed the Lincoln center where it is “midsummer night swing” season. So this great big band was playing and there were swingers all over. I had on my “Ithaca is gorges” t-shirt on and people kept stopping me to ask if I was one of the “Ithaca dancers.” There is this legendary lindyhop (a type of swing) teacher who lives in Ithaca and has a dance group there that all the swing world knows about (when I was in college, there was a guy named sky in the group and his eyes were the same color as his name, I adored him). This guy offered lessons at my college which I took for about a year and a half. It was amazingly fun. So I had to disappoint all the people asking and staring by telling them that I just went to school there. I got hit on by two kind of old (early 40’s) men. One creepy and one perfectly normal, if not a bit too preppy. So preppy begged me to dance and I acquiesced. It was fun, though I’m a virgo and like to have control so am usually a terrible follower. I did okay though and all these people were gathered around to watch and seemed not to notice all the times I was fucking up. but THEN he dipped me real low and I felt something pop and now my back is in all kinds of discomfort. I’m afraid that if I lie down, that I won’t be able to get up. goddamnit!

Briefly: dave’s funeral was yesterday. His father said that the eulogy was the middle aged man’s speech. But that usually it is the middle aged man giving it for his parents, to a bunch of people with white hair, hearing aids, and walkers. That a eulogy should not be written for an audience so young. Dave’s note said that he’d been dealing with severe feelings of inadequacy on and off since high school (dave turned 29 this year). It makes me wonder where those feelings originate when he went to one of the best prep schools in the country, then to princeton, then to one of the best law schools in the country. His father said that his son was his sun for 29 years and hoped dave had gone off to find his own sun, to finally be at peace. His sister told a fart joke (a pretty good one at that), saying that dave always wanted to know how a fart joke would fare at church. His brother-in-law and two best friends told a few hilarious stories that epitomized him. It felt good to laugh, but felt awful to be reminded of all that we lost. His family had cds made with a handful of dave’s favorite songs, and put a picture of dave singing karaoke on the cover. I love it but it makes me want to cry every time I see it. The dean of my law school flew in from paris to be there, which I thought was amazing. The priest comforted my thoughts by telling us that those who take their lives are not condemned in the afterlife, that jesus has compassion for those who suffer that much pain. I’m not at all religious but it is something I kept thinking about.

18 people who played with me:

Blogger cadiz12 said...

jazz, i think you should hook up with a celebrity. then you can tell us all the real dish.

weimaraners remind me of 'best in show.' i hope it's not depressed.

it's sad that something so bad is what brought people together, but at least the service offered a little comfort.

6/28/2005 11:42 PM  
Blogger Gordy said...

Wiemaraners are gorgeous, some friends of mine have a gorgeous one back home called Bailey (like the drink) it fits so well.

John Cusack..wow, can she get me to meet him? I almost did one time when i flew from the UK to LA on the same plane as him one time and was delayed on the tarmac for 4 hours due to an air control issue.

John was really cool, but Malcolm McDowell and his then wife/girlfriend had a huge fight in the luggage collection at LAX!

6/28/2005 11:50 PM  
Blogger quycksilver said...

sounds like a really nice service for Dave. . . not easy, to be sure, but are they ever?

Sorry to hear about the back!

6/29/2005 12:18 AM  
Blogger Gloria Glo said...

But does jas qualify as a non-celebrity? When I read this blog, i doubt it...

I continue to send my heart out to you over Dave's death. Much love to you.

That said, there are worse ways to throw out one's back - like vacuuming. It's all about the memory.

6/29/2005 12:51 AM  
Blogger Me said...

I was thinking about the normal person - celebrity thing. It started with my crush on Tiger Woods and how he married a fellow golfer's nanny! A freakin' nanny (never mind the fact that she was also a model). And what about Matt Damon and the waitress chick? They just bought a house together for millions according to ever so reliable In Touch magazine.

Anyway, sorry about the rant. I'm just waiting for my celeb to come along and sweep me off my feet. And pay for everything.

Hope your back feels better!

6/29/2005 5:58 AM  
Blogger JustJunebug said...

i concur on your theory about celebrity meets normal. i keep thinking and hoping that i am normal enough so that when i finally "bump" into :insert hot celebrity guy name here: that he'll fall desperately in lust with me....

6/29/2005 8:34 AM  
Blogger jinius said...

sounds like it was a bittersweet service, when you laugh and reminisce about the good times only to be reminded that he/she is no longer there. hope you take comfort in the priest's words and even the cd. these things are never easy but will only make some sense after time. xoxo

6/29/2005 9:14 AM  
Blogger Hermes said...

Jazz. I swear you have more celebrity run-in's than anyone I know.

6/29/2005 9:26 AM  
Blogger 1 said...

Jazz, that was really touching. Sorry about your friend. Hope your back feels better...doggie company and free pilates should help. Take care sista.

6/29/2005 11:17 AM  
Blogger jazz said...

cadiz: you think i haven't been trying? a few celbrities have had their chance to have their way with me, but alas, they did not fall hopelessly in love like they were supposed to. damnit! did they not get that memo?

"to: celebrity
from: the powers that be
re: that girl in starbucks

Ask her out!"

gordy: will try to take pictures of her this weekend. shes so beautiful! and hopefully not depressed like cadiz mentioned ;)

quyck: never easy, but i think it was a certain amt of closure.

glo: if i were a celebrity, i would have no need for this stalking business i partake in.

me & june: see above. me too.

jinius: thank you

hermes: dude topher grace, carson, and john are not MY run ins...i wish!

-g.d.: as always, thanks girl!

6/29/2005 1:54 PM  
Blogger lucasjackson7 said...

John Cusack is like the Holy Grail for women. What was she thinking? Just on the success of Better Off Dead should be reason enough to hunker down with him. Ahh, c'est la vie.

Weimareiners are cool. Those are the dogs with blue eyes, right? You shouldn't have any trouble stumbling into a guy with one of those dogs. You need to take a page from the guys and use the dog as a wingwoman. hehe.

6/29/2005 2:22 PM  
Blogger Hermes said...

Jazz. They may not be YOUR run-in's, but if we were playing "six degrees" you'd be only ONE degree away from Topher, Carson, and Cusack.

I think I'm about twenty.

6/29/2005 2:31 PM  
Blogger Hermes said...

...not that I care. ;)

6/29/2005 2:31 PM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

dude, i think it was molly sims who said that topher grace was the best kiss she's ever had. who would have thought?

jazz, i'm sure you'll snag your celeb. just stay away from those scientologists.

6/29/2005 4:56 PM  
Blogger Andy said...

My sister's roommate once had a weimaranner named Riley. He had tons of personality. My dog Franklin is mostly Rhodesian Ridgeback and is the same way, its pretty funny. They can be goofy and regal at the same time.

Chiropractors aren't real doctors!

6/29/2005 7:06 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

Hey!
Phew, finally a chance to read...I never can at work...funeral homes are soo not the place to be blogging.
Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I totally agree with the priest. Who are we to say what will happen? And who wouldn't want to believe in a peaceful afterlife (or however you see it), no matter what religion or spirituality you may believe in. I believe in mercy and I also believe that people who are suffering like that are not in their right mind...they deserve to be at rest, out of pain...even if it's heartbreaking for those who are left behind.
I hope your back feels better!

6/29/2005 9:40 PM  
Blogger The Snakehead said...

This comment has nothing to do with your entry.

I've been seeing your picture around other blogs, and I just have to say,

What

A

B-R-E-A-S-T-S!

The cleavage itself is killing me. And I'm gay.

It is your boobies, right?

6/29/2005 10:19 PM  
Blogger Former Intern Andy said...

I saw Topher Grace at NBC once while I was in NY.

That's not really adding to the conversation, but... well, it's all I have!

6/29/2005 11:13 PM  

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