Wednesday, March 18, 2009

pulling muscles, search terms, p&g,

emily's fiance antti decided he wanted to work out with us yesterday. antti is pretty muscular. and finnish. so working out with antti means watching him place all the machines about 50lbs heavier than you usually do them and listening to him bark orders at you in his finnish accent about how we need to do 20 more reps! it's not that hard! come on ladies! and i do it because maybe all the weight training will make me strong enough so that when i break down and hit him in the face someday it stands a chance of hurting.
i mean, i know he means well. but i can't help but feel that he does it for vanity purposes. he feels better being seen with emily and i if we're thinner. you may think i'm crazy but if you ever meet this man i think you'll see what i mean. but bless his heart, i adore him anyhow but HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I CAN'T REALLY BENCHPRESS SIXTY POUNDS! YOU'RE HURTING ME! i came close to throwing out my back i think yesterday. now i walk with a hand on my lower back in some form of a waddle that makes me look like a pregnant woman. from behind, at least.
statcounter says that most people are finding my blog through these search terms: what do i look like as a simpson, uti, and cheyenne jackson. those are all random things to be the "go to" source on. or even to be that first page that someone lands on when looking for the above... 
i may or may not have a friend that works at proctor and gamble. that friend may or may not be able to get me, for free, numerous things in their product line. i may or may not have a gigantic obsession with TIDE PENS. ZOMG. I NEED MORE! it's bad. i pretty much need to have one with me at all times. and if were were making a list of things to bring with us to an undiscovered island, that might be it. because if i were to run into any indigenous people there i'd be able to hold it up and say, "see! my people make miraculous things! behold the wonder that is this thing that looks like a marker but actually gets red wine out of clothes!" and who cares if they dont know what a marker is, or red wine, or that they probably don't wear clothes...the beauty of the pen will overcome! where was i? oh, right, P&G. yay, i get free stuff! i pretty much never need to go to a drug store ever again.
free-range fetuses! and that studmuffin john oliver?! be still my beating heart...
and why the hell haven't i seen this before?! my adoration of seth rogan mixed with the ever-amazing muppets?!
and this made the round days ago which means everyone has seen it but i'm posting it anyhow. i love it so much. i've watched it like 5 times. and sorry for not just imbedding all this stuff. have been e-mailing my posts in lately and curse you gmail since you can't email html!
also, anybody been to managua nicaragua? just asking...

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