explaining mysef part XII: in which i qualify a twitter about michael ian black

so i discovered michael ian black on twitter.

 

michael ian black (for some reason all three names always come out, it feels so wrong to cut it down to just one) brings back memories for me of a very specific time period, namely 1994, though the show spanned a few months on either side of that year as well. and i've always had a thing for skinny, dark-haired, dorky yet very funny dudes. and boy, did i LUST after michael in black.

 

now, i know he's done stuff since then. i am not going to wiki him but i remember him being on ed and i've seen him a bit here in the periphery and there but becoming a new follower made me give michael ian black some direct attention. and i notice he's showing some gray in his profile picture.

 

and by noticing his own aging, i'm also accepting mine. i'm no longer of the age where i lust so heartily after celebrities (even C-list). and if i were to spend time lusting they'd now be ones younger than me. hot, dopey, simple men (i'm looking at YOU chase crawford!). having sex with older dudes is old hat. i'm a cougar now.

 

an aside: i used to lust after tom cruise and BOY are those days long gone. HOWEVER, i would still get naked and crazy with robert redford and michael ian black is doing mr. redford a dire disservice in comparing himself to the ever-beautiful robert. michael ian black you are NO robert redford, i'm sorry...

 

so i'm a cougar. though a cougar that's still 9 years junior to michael ian black. something i'm pointing out to myself just because i think it's fun to be 28 and referred to as a "miserable old bitch"

 

and this probably gets filed in the TMI folder but it's been months since i've been laid and if given the chance i'd most definitely still have sex with michael ian black but maybe only if i were a bit tipsy and he was there and willing. i wouldn't fight a girl to get michael ian black. i wouldn't stalk him. i wouldn't even pay for it.

 

so there. that's my clarification. i would still have sex with michael ian black because i'm oldish too, i just wouldn't be proactive about it. and i'm not sure how much bragging i'd do to my friends about it. and isn't that the true test of how desirable a celebrity is? i think it is.