Tuesday, July 19, 2005

How Goddess Jasmine Lost Her Immortality

by Ale

Ed. note: while jasmine is off studying for the bar, she's rounded up some forces to keep the readers happy while she's gone. enjoy!

Once upon a time, in a land closer than you think, there lived a beautiful goddess named Jasmine. She lived in her goddess tower and rarely came down to mingle with the mortals in the land that was called Manhattan. This land was known among the gods and mortals alike to be an EVIL EVIL place! It was a place where people spent at least an hour each morning in the underground dungeon just to get to work, where they slaved for another 14 hours... (but that's a whole different tale...)

Well one day, Jasmine, being a curious goddess, decided to descend and grace the mortals with her presence. She was especially curious about the guy mortals.

On the day of her planned descend she was awoken as usual with the distant songs from below passing garbage trucks, taxis and emergency vehicles. "Ah, these mortals... soon enough I will know why sounds appeal to you so much" thought Jasmine. She put on her best golden robes and sole-less sandals. (Since of course she did not need to wear real shoes because she glided on air.)

The very first thing Jasmine did was go to a "happy hour" in midtown. She figured it would be the very best place to sample some of the boy mortals. Jasmine illuminated the entire bar as she glided inside...but not a single head turned!!!! The boy mortals were too busy talking loudly and drinking golden colored liquid from large glasses. "Hmm... I didn't know they had nectar down here too..." Jasmine thought. She squeezed in by the bar and ordered a glass. Near her was a cute dark haired boy that was especially happy. He immediately involved Jasmine into a conversation about his job at some fancy-shmancy law firm. Jasmine was intrigued. But what intrigued her even more is that he didn't even once look at her!!! Hmmm... Jasmine thought...

Next she decided to make her way to a Jazz club downtown. "Maybe here I can meet some people that do not have problems focusing on their conversation partners" Jasmine thought. Unfortunately the story repeated itself when she met a cute messy haired trumpet player. All he did was talk about his trumpet.

Jasmine was confused! I'm a beautiful goddess that glides on air wearing a blinding gold robe! How can I not catch the attention of these boy mortals!?!? At that very moment, as if reading her mind, there appeared a dark shadow next to her.

"So little goddess, you search to know the secrets of the mortals...?" said the shadow.

"Yes! I especially seek to be able to get the attention of the boy mortals!"

The shadow thought for a moment... "I may be able to give you something that would surely get you the attention of EVERY boy mortal..." said the shadow slowly.

"OK! As long as you guarantee it!!"

"Well... you know the drill, it will cost you your immortality..."

"Sure, sure whatever, I must succeed at what I came down here to do at all costs!!!" cried Jasmine.

"All right, all right..." the shadow produced a little purple flask and handed it to Jasmine. "Drink this tonight before going to sleep and when you wake up tomorrow morning, you will have the thing that I promised which will get you every boys attention. Heck, you've been such a good sport, I'll double it for you. But remember you will also wake up a mare mortal..." The last part trailed off as Jasmine was already on her way back to the tower.

The next morning, Jasmine woke up as usual with the sounds of garbage trucks, taxi honking and emergency vehicles... except this morning the sounds were unusually loud... Jasmine even felt a strange sensation in her head. (It felt as if some one was hitting her with a bat.) "Oh, its probably me getting adjusted to being a mortal, I'm sure its nothing." She made her way to the closet and picked out a nice outfit to wear "But no more golden robes" Jasmine thought. But once she picked out a pretty pair of Manolos, since she could not glide on air anymore, she looked down to check out her shoes and...


There was something completely obstructing her view!!! TWO OF THEM!!

"Oh gosh, what is THIS!?!?"

And than she remembered the conversation with the dark shadow... "Don't tell me... these are THEM- the two somethings that the shadow promised???"

But, she didn't have time to think for too long since she was impatient to get down to Manhattan and be successful this time!

Back at the midtown bar she caused a commotion and practically a stampede. Mortal boys just surrounded her and... WAIT! STOP! Not really HER, but HER TWO THINGS!!! But not only did they flock right to them... they talked to them... and wanted to be... with them... "What the heck!!? Did the shadow dupe me!???" thought Jasmine.

She went on to the jazz club downtown. The messy haired boy was still there blowing his horn. But the moment Jasmine walked in he immediately ran over... to THEM.... "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!!!!!!!" screamed Jasmine. "THIS IS NOT WHAT I BARGAINED FOR!!!! I wanted the mortal boys to see me- ME, and pay attention to ME!!! Not... THEM!!!!"

So Jasmine decided to give up on boys and just do something that will take up her time so she won't have to deal with these situations.

So, she enrolled into law school.

3 years later...

We find Jasmine in the computer lab at school studying for her bar exam. Just as she was taking a minute brake peaking at Ale's blog, the computer froze.

"Uffff" thought Jasmine, "This being mortal thing just keeps getting better and better!" She raised her hand and snapped her fingers. The BRAND NEW nerdy and absentminded looking lab attendant guy was completely oblivious of her. "Figures, nothing a girl can do will ever get their attention... except of course flashing her boobs!"

(By the way, it wasn’t chris the tech boy, he was DISCHARGED from his job when they found out he was only 16 and didn’t have his working papers (for under aged workers). So this nerdy guy is the NEW guy they hired to replace him.

Anyway, back to the story…

So Jasmine marched over to his desk and said: "Excuse me! Did you not see me calling you over!! My computer froze."

"Oh I'm so sorry, I've misplaced my glasses and without them, I'm afraid, I'm totally blind!" Said the new nerdy guy, smiling and wrinkling his freckled nose.

He does have very nice green eyes, Jasmine thought, even if he can’t focus them on anything...

"Oh, can you show me where your computer is? I can't see where I'm walking..." Said the new cute nerd.

So Jasmine held his hand as they walked across the computer lab. "Ah, how nice and warm it feels" thought Jasmine. After fixing her computer they both realized that they had a love for jazz in common. They spent the entire night talking, laughing and exchanging mp3 files from his iPod to hers. It was the greatest evening!

Later that night...or shall we say early in the morning, when Jasmine and the cute nerd laid in her bed embraced, she asked him: "When you find your glasses and see me... will you change your opinion of me??"

"How could I!? Plus, I HAVE seen you, nothing can alter the vision I already have of you."

"Ahhh" thought Jasmine... "Who knew that it would take a blind man to really see a woman."

And with these happy and satisfied thoughts Jasmine fell asleep...


11 people who played with me:

Blogger MEP said...

Cute story, although I thought this one was going to have Jazz flashing people again.

Who knew so many people would write about your breats, Jazz? lol

7/19/2005 10:07 AM  
Blogger omar said...

Great story, ale!

The real moral to the story is that tech guys (who are of legal working age) know how to treat a woman.

7/19/2005 10:18 AM  
Blogger Nadia said...

mep - I knew. I always knew.

Omar - I thought it was Jazz's breasts are the soure of all things wondrous.

7/19/2005 10:29 AM  
Blogger Ale said...

haha mep- see instead of flashing people she decided to go to law school--

7/19/2005 12:40 PM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

i knew you'd leave us with a good moral to live by, ale. nice work!

gotta love them tech guys -- they keep it real.

7/19/2005 4:06 PM  
Blogger 1 said...

I always knew Jazz was a goddess. Awesome story Ale!

7/19/2005 10:29 PM  
Blogger Demosthenes said...

Have you considered getting into publishing. Not children's books, mind you. I am curious where the nerd got all of his amazing pick-up lines... admittedly, they were uttered during the throes of passion, but still, inspiration doesn't come THAT easy. Hmmmm

7/20/2005 11:50 AM  
Blogger Mister Underhill said...

Well, I have a feeling he will like what he sees in its own right too, once he has his glassed ;)

7/20/2005 3:40 PM  
Blogger Ale said...

haha- yes true- he will like what he sees, lets not kid ourselves, he may be a romantic nerd but he is still a dude-

7/20/2005 5:08 PM  
Blogger Syar said...

i so guessed what the thing was. such focus on your chest area, Jazz. i so sympathized with naive little immortal jazz. and i liked the fact that she enrolled in law school for "something to do".

good piece. loved it.

jazz, thanks for linking me. and as for the tech guy, you're so right. there are more dorks in the...uh...dork sea. right...good luck with that. =)

7/20/2005 9:16 PM  
Blogger Gloria Glo said...

I liked this story on so many levels....thanks, Ale!

7/23/2005 2:04 PM  

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