Friday, June 03, 2005

Tag Update

Wednesday 8:30 pm: Tag and I traded text messages (which, btw, are the downfall of modern dating. That might be the topic of my next post). He wanted me to stop by club X…again. I wasn’t doing anything but wanting to seem not-so-damn-available, told him I was busy but could meet up tomorrow.

Thursday 4:00 pm: another text, “you and your girls should come to club x tonight, I’m having a birthday party.” Frantic phone call to S telling her she’s going to club X with me. The one picture I have of Tag that I didn’t post is him standing on the bar pouring tequila down a girl’s throat at the bar. S tells me to pull up the picture and look closer. Why? We’re standing at the bar. A friend of S’s is the girl getting tequila down her throat, we’re standing next to her. So apparently I’ve seen Tag before but because of evil tequila, I have no memory of it.

12:00 am: Get to Club X. Tag walks right by us. I’m thinking he doesn’t even remember what I look like. He’s hot. He’s wearing this little black knit cap with a bill, a Kelly green tight t-shirt, jeans hanging off his tiny ass with a black studded belt. He walks past us again to the other end of the bar and I get a text: “when are you showing up? I’m getting lonely.” I show the text to S and K. I get another text, “I see you, don’t act like I can’t.” I told him I didn’t know if he’d recognize me. He said he loved the way I had hit on him. He was gone to greet friends every 15 minutes but kept coming back to talk. He was sweet. He was funny. He was a good dancer. I was drunk. They put the pole back up (they had taken it down for a band earlier) and I figured it was DEFINITELY time to go.

Friday 7:30am: I wake up still drunk. I have a missed call from Tag at 3am and a text at 4am which reads, “Hey u need to wake up right now and cum to 30th b/w park and lex.” Ha! How is it the guy thinks I’ll answer a booty call when we’ve never even kissed?

9:00am: report to bar exam study class. Pages spinning in my vision. I felt like I was going to throw up the whole time. Told a friend I had been at club X, she said she’d gone to high school with the owners and their brothers (i.e. Tag). I said it was Tag’s birthday party. She said, “oh yeah, I forgot! He just turned 19” YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT. Nineteen. For fuck’s sake!

1:00pm: meet S and K for lunch. Am reminded of lots of things I can’t remember due to drunkenness. Forced to endure a solid 2 hrs of jokes about how he probably just wanted me to come over b/c he was scared of the dark and needed a bedtime story. About how I should have met him earlier, I could have gone to his prom. More jokes about incubators, living with mommy and daddy, all in the cradle robbing theme.

So whaddya think? If I hear from him do I respond? Is nineteen do-able? Literally...

i could rant on about how it's okay for older men to date younger women (i dated a guy who was 27 when i was 18, and nobody flinched), but this isn't time or the place. i've kept y'all long enough.


p.s. i heard from him one more time (late night text). i didn't answer. i think that's the end of that!

20 people who played with me:

Blogger Spoiled Rotten said...

oh, i say nineteen is do-able

6/03/2005 8:35 PM  
Blogger Former Intern Andy said...

Ha! Jasmine, I'm 22, and sometimes I don't even know if I'm do-able. Looking back at being 19, I don't think guys even have the right to be do-able. Maybe I'm just frustrated. :)

6/03/2005 8:54 PM  
Blogger JustJunebug said...

holy crap!!! 19??? hell no girl!

heres my math. i call it the "Demi factor" and only really works if your in the cougar category age wise. take your age, divide it by 2 and add 7. thats your MINIMUM age girlfriend!

but hey breaking the rules of math is what makes life worth living!

and btw, when i was 17 i was dating a 25 year old. but EVERYONE was flinching then. he was an asshole anyway.

6/03/2005 9:26 PM  
Blogger JustJunebug said...

and by the way spoiled rotten is my best friend heather! hi heather!

**unhijack**

6/03/2005 9:27 PM  
Blogger jazz said...

junebug: 24/2=12 + 7=19! he barely makes it!

also, tell heather to add her profile, i can't get to her blog unless she uses it! i wanted to pay her a visit!

6/03/2005 9:30 PM  
Blogger Jon said...

I hardly see how knowing his age now makes that much of a difference. Did you get to know him? Do you still like him? What’s his favorite color? Does he like his sandwiches with or without crust? There are lots of other things that matter besides age. Take it from a guy who pretty much never dates, doesn’t get out much, has little if any sexual experience and knows less than nothing about women. As you can see, my list of qualifications is nearly endless, so just listen to me, because I clearly know what I’m talking about. (it’s ok, even I rolled my eyes at myself.)

6/03/2005 9:39 PM  
Blogger Hermes said...

Well, does Tag's personality make up for his shortcomings... and the age difference? ;)

JaZZ. Sounds to me like he's playing a little harder to get and you're loving it. I think you might be kind of infatuated with this guy...

6/03/2005 11:20 PM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

i've heard that age/2+7 thing before; sound logic. but he seems awfully smoove for 19. like he's been training on picking up women since junior high and might be carrying more than just that hat.

come to think of it, that's what troubles me. hasn't he heard that even enrique iglesias isn't rocking the nonstop hats anymore? i'm down with bald, but what if you get cozy with him and find out that he's got tentacles under there? anyone who you don't see hatless is automatically under suspicion.

6/04/2005 12:46 AM  
Blogger Jon said...

I wasn’t going to say anything because I’ve already been booed once, and everyone knows I have an amazingly sensitive and fragile ego, BUT… yeah, what’s up with the hats? It’s June… isn’t it a bit warm? Only logical conclusion is that he’s an alien with tentacles. I’m sorry, but that’s what the book says. I looked it up. Page 156, and I quote: “Any 19 year old guy you see hanging out at a bar owned by a sibling with excessively smoove skills and is always wearing a hat definitely has tentacles hidden under said hat and is, in fact, an alien.” End quote. The book doesn’t lie Jasmine… the book does not lie…

6/04/2005 3:03 AM  
Blogger mrsmogul said...

19 is do-able if you just want fun, but otherwise there are loads of fish in the sea!

6/04/2005 7:00 AM  
Blogger Digitalicat said...

Eh, 19's not so bad. Wait... you've got Cartoon Network, right?

6/04/2005 10:23 AM  
Blogger jazz said...

totally agree on the "over smooveness" of this guy. i think he's been around plenty at this not-so-tender age.

hermes: i ALWAYS love a guy who plays a little hard to get. though, i gotta find that line between hard to get and plain old: messing with me, or just not interested. dating is so annoying.

jon and cadiz: i have read the book also. i knew all about the possibility of tentacles. i was relieved when he took off his truckers hat the night i met him to just a full head of hair. [phew!] it was a close one! unless it was just a wig coverng the tentacles [damn!]

eh, i'm not so fussed about him in general. am quite suspect actually. my friends, for my sake, took my phone last night and deleted his number so i can't possibly contact him even if i wanted. they're brilliant, because i'm sure that if i got drunk he'd be hearing from me. bah!

6/04/2005 12:13 PM  
Blogger Me said...

First of all - damn that tequila!

I say 19 isn't too bad as long as you can handle his maturity level (or possibly lack of). Despite the stereotypes though, I've dated a 28-year-old (I was 19)who was way worse (read: acted like a baby)than one of my exes who was 17 when I was 20. People are all so different.

6/04/2005 5:22 PM  
Blogger Andy said...

Or he might be channeling some southern hemispherical weather patterns. NOt an entirely bad thing...

But trust your gut... I don't think you'll regret it. :)

6/05/2005 5:24 AM  
Blogger dsz said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6/05/2005 6:52 AM  
Blogger omar said...

19? Your friends did the right thing, removing his number. The little fella is stil learning how to use his parts at that age.

6/05/2005 7:20 AM  
Blogger jazz said...

yes omar, since you are the father of a small child, you would know about the stages. i should have come to you right away to ask about progression at only 19...

6/05/2005 12:07 PM  
Blogger scribe called steff said...

I tried posting this earlier, but I was having problems doing so.

When I was 29, I did it with a 21-year-old and I've never had such fun giving a blowjob. Evidently the younger girls don't have the right tricks just yet. ;) Very entertaining response. If it's just sex and a good time you're looking for, I say why the fuck not. It's summer. Live a little.

Once in a while, a girl deserves a fling.

6/05/2005 9:25 PM  
Blogger Brother Kojak said...

The math is right....half the age +7; and then again, fling is always good. You already know he can handle it and you don't expect much. So head on over to the Korean store, get you some Lifestyles and handle your bizness.

6/07/2005 3:56 PM  
Blogger Nadia said...

Being 17, I can only kowtow to you wise ones. I have so much to learn...the do-able age math? Potential life saver.

6/09/2005 2:09 AM  

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