reporting for duty: fleet week 2005

So another fleet week has come and gone. S and I hit Times Square with our pied piper-ness, and by that I mean, with our boobs out. We were pros. Or so I thought. We kept seeing them in groups, none that were great looking but still we made the requisite eye contact nonetheless. We encountered problems when they weren’t making it back. Hello! Two hot girls and their cleavage are walking by! Men: that is your sign to at least notice our presence. But we felt nearly invisible. Those that made eye contact didn’t know to do the look back. You know the look back. It’s what solidifies that you and the guy/girl are mutually interested and that one of you should stop and talk to the other. Did the captains on the boats not send out the memo?

To: servicemen and women
From: your superiors
Date: 5/26/05
Re: The look back.

Members of our esteemed navy and marine corps,

As we dock at the ports of new york city we want to give you suggestions on how to maximize your enjoyment of this weekend. We encourage you to meet the locals who can show you a good time. On this topic, to most efficiently meet the locals, eye contact is key but the look back in imperative. Always look back at the guy/girl to ensure a future conversation.

Thank you.

General I. Battle.

Damn the administrative incompetence of the u.s. military. So we just started drinking. We started meeting marines and sailors but they were all so young. We went to a restaurant row bar where I’m something of a regular and 5 cute marines followed us in. I picked mine. Jason, a cute boy with dimples and blue eyes from Louisiana who likes to cook and has 4 sisters. He was 25 (thank god). Oh, and he’s also a good kisser. So Jason and I were going to meet up the next day (Thursday) but I never heard from him. I went down to bleeker street with S (who thought she was ditched by a guy she was supposed to have a date with, matt. not a sailor) to our favorite bar. Right away I spotted a tall dark and handsome sailor standing near the back of the bar. We kept making eye contact but he didn’t come up to talk so I let it go. I glanced over to my right and saw a marine that looked just like this pretty guy. He was 22 (I know...I know...) but I noticed a wedding ring. I mentioned it, told him about my 22 married marine brother. We’re talking. I’m making him laugh and I feel his hand on my thigh. This wasn’t no quick touch either. I was being stroked. For a second I thought, “he’s married, do I stop this?” I decided I wasn’t going to reciprocate (and that I wouldn’t kiss him either) and that it was harmless. He started to ask me what I was doing the next day, where I’d be. I was thinking that if I saw him again I’d definitely fuck him. He was hot and touching me and it’s been a while since I’ve been laid. Am I evil? Before I said anything, his friend “tex” came over and swept him away, telling him he had to go. Then he looked at me and yelled, “he’s married you know!” I ignored him, but saw tex yelling at him about it. Married guy looked at me as they were leaving with a, “he’s ridiculous, sorry about that” look. I sent him off with a wink and a smile.

In the meantime S had gotten a call from the guy who she thought stood her up, so we got ready to go meet him on the lower east side. S stopped at the bathroom and on her way back tall, dark, and handsome stopped her, telling her he wanted to meet her friend. I walked over there and he was adorable. He wanted to go to law school as soon as he got out. he was lovely and I should have given him my number but I was drunk and S dragged me away to go meet her date matt. He had flowers for her (half of which he gave to me and the bartender so we wouldn’t feel left out). she met him at club X (a fictitious name, for all those stalkers out there), and he’s friends with the owner. I got a call from Jason at 2am saying his phone died, which is why he couldn’t call. He wanted to see me again. I’m not sure if I believed his story but I wasn’t too fussed about meeting up with him again considering the two much better looking guys I’d met that night. I could have tried to hedge my bets but didn’t have the energy. Jason has literally been texting and calling me an average of 10 times a day. It’s insane.

The next night we went to club X. right away I spotted a bartender who looked like Tag from friends. I saw S staring at him too so thought, “damn. I’m gonna have to fight her for him, aren’t I?” I told her I thought he was gorgeous. She told me that her roommate D had slept with him last weekend when S had met matt. she walked right up to him and said, “don’t you recognize me?” he said, “no.” she said, “you slept with my roommate last weekend!” “No…I didn’t.” “yes!” “no….” and with that he waved the owner over. He says, “this girl thinks I’m morgan!” (we are assuming tag and morgan are brothers, but who knows). Owner says, “you slept with morgan, huh?” S says, “no! I slept with matt!” owner proceeds to say that matt is like a brother to him, and they bond over the fact that they both like matt. Owner kept buying us shots. I danced with a pole for a long time I think. Owner said he’d pay me if I’d come back wearing less clothes next time. I’m NOT taking him up on his offer. All that mattered to me was that Tag was no longer damaged goods since he had not slept with D. hooray! We chatted briefly through the night, I slipped him my number as I left, he told me that I’d better answer the phone, which I thought was strange.

The next two days were taken up by a wedding. it was black tie and probably the most beautiful (and expensive) wedding I’ll ever go to in my lifetime. It was at a museum. We dined and danced amongst Picassos. I’m not kidding. I got a text from Tag, who’s real name is ian, “this is ian from club X. you and your girls should come down to the club tonight.” Not sure what to make of it. It wasn’t a mass text (which I get from club promoters sometimes just to get people in) but it wasn’t a sign that he actually wanted to see me. The owner is his brother. He quite possibly just wanted to get people into the club on a Sunday night. I didn’t go. Have no idea if I’ll hear from him again. If he’s interested, he’ll call. You’ll hear about it if he does.