Saturday, April 23, 2005

calling all doctors or people with attention deficit disorders

so i have been studying feverishly. that’s a lie, let me start again. i’ve been desperately trying to be a feverish studier. but every time i start and think i’m focusing i decide i have to clean out the sink, right now. or that i’ll take a break (and then i laugh at myself for actually thinking it, knowing i haven’t done anything to take a break from). or i put my head back and say i’ll close my eyes for 2 minutes, a ½ hour nap follows. basically, i can’t get my shit done. i just can’t focus on anything long enough for it to sink in. i have no less than 200 pages of notes from classes (times 12 point font) that needs to be memorized, a paper that needs to be finished, and an outline for another class that needs to be looked at and organized. it's 8pm Saturday and i’ve done almost nothing. i’m actually getting worried about it. this isn’t procrastination. This is a real problem i think. Anyone out there with ADD or ADHD that can shed some light on whether this might not be completely within my control?

also, i want to warn you, i will be posting less for the next couple weeks (at least I think so, that is, if i actually manage to start focusing on the stuff i have to be doing), but i don’t want y’all to forget about me. so set up an account on bloglines or something so you’ll be notified when your little friend in gotham city found the time to post. i’d hate for people to keep checking back and seeing nothing and give up on me. in that same thread, i’ll probably be commenting less. don’t hate me. i’ll be done on may 12th after which i’ll start studying for the bar and who knows what the hell that’ll be like. every entry may likely begin, “why did I volunteer for this. I want to die.” But until then…

also i promise to get at least the fleet week story up before then. can barely contain my excitement!!!

also, heard a new joke:

what's the hardest part about rollerblading for a guy?

telling his parents he's gay.

i know, i know...slightly distasteful. and the thing is that i don't think rollerblading makes a man feminine at all, AND i'm every gay man's best friend. thus, i don't think the joke makes any sense but i laughed anyhow. come to think of it, i can't think of one tasteful joke i've heard in the last couple of months. anyhow...

11 people who played with me:

Blogger Sarah said...

words cannot do justice to the extent to which I feel your pain at this present moment.
This is how procrastination works for me: I think about the things I need to do, and my brain blows it up in my mind exponentially every minute that I procrastinate until it feels like I will quite literally die if I open a textbook. I CANNOT GET UP OFF MY ASS AND OPEN A TEXTBOOK. IT DOES NOT FEEL PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. AND I WANT TO CRY BECAUSE I'M SO BEHIND.

4/23/2005 11:43 PM  
Anonymous 'ka said...

i literally thought i was the only one who feel this way and have this procrastination or ADD or ADHD or whatever you wanna call it. finals are coming up VERY SOON, 'n i still haven't done jack. i'm so worried, but it's just sooo hard to sit down and focus.

4/24/2005 12:12 AM  
Blogger scribe called steff said...

I'm pretty ADD sometimes. Back when I would need to cram, I'd go to an all-night cafe and drink coffee and go wild.

They say that eating potatoes, mashed/baked, helps settle the brain and aid it in retaining more information in studying.

Who knows. Good luck with that.

* * *

Also, you might want to take a break and go to the gym or something and give yourself a REALLY exhausting workout, come home, nap for an hour or so, and get back into studying. It'll help you restore your thoughts a bit.

Today, I'm going for a bikeride before I write, and I'll write better as a result. This is what I tell myself. :)

4/24/2005 1:02 PM  
Blogger scribe called steff said...

4/24/2005 1:02 PM  
Blogger quycksilver said...

I'm the same way . . . the more I have to get done lately, the less productive I've become. It never used to be that way. In the good old days, the more on my plate, the more I'd accomplish. I miss those days. Maybe I'm getting to old for all this--tragically, I'm only in my early 30s.

The gym is a good idea or yoga or something else physical to get yourself out of your head for a little while. I also second the leaving of home & working elsewhere. It's easier to get things done when you can't clean the sink or run the vacuum (well, I suppose you could, but that'd be rather weird!) On that note, I'm getting my ass out of my apartment to try and be productive for at least a few hours today. Good luck with everything!

4/24/2005 4:32 PM  
Blogger jazz said...

have started a morning gym routine which has helped a little just to get me started...let's hope i can stay on it!

4/24/2005 5:55 PM  
Blogger J said...

I actually have ADD... I was diagnosed and everything by a bonafide doctor. And I take a pill every morning so that my neurons fire in a more orderly fashion. Without the pill, they're like a kindergarten class that just heard the fire alarm; screaming and running all over the place.

A lot of times it isn't ADD, it's just procrastination or disinterest in doing what has to be done. Maybe do a google search and see if there's a legit and clinically-based online test you can take?

At any rate, I wish all you studiers the best. I hated grad school (especially toward the end when I just didn't give a shit anymore), but then it turned into a stubborn contest of endurance. And I won. May the rest of you win as well.

4/25/2005 10:31 PM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

i feel bad for you guys too.

after 70 some hours of consecutive awakeness (only 25 or so were actually spent *working*) for a big project, i remember passing out on the couch. i spent those last moments fighting sleep and admiring the handiwork of my arranged socks, sparkling tile grout, flawless new tupperware system, catalogued photo collection and the completely fuzz-free carpet thinking, 'wow. i can't believe this time i lived.'

11 hours later my roommate found me spread eagle on my back with my hat, scarf, gloves and backpack on snoring like a bear in hibernation.

you will treasure the memories of this agony for years to come.

4/26/2005 2:09 PM  
Anonymous heath.beltran said...

Dr. Kenneth W. Christian who wrote the book Your Own Worst Enemy: Breaking the Habit of Adult Underachievement says that ADD is likely due to too much TV. Dr. Linda Sapadin says we have different styles of procrastination in her book Beat Procrastination and Make the Grade: The Six Styles of Procrastination and How Students Can Overcome Them. Really, what ever I do is to fuck myself over. I read these books to help, but then I do not get homework done. I do homework, and I loose focus like a four year old. Hey look, a dumb song on the radio. Let me turn it...OK, Incubus, I am back with you guys. Maybe determinist are right? But behaviorist are determinist, so we should be able to correct the problems we have. Or maybe we are all fucked because we can not control shit. I am not really that pessimist. I really just need to cancel cable TV and broad band, and write a plan to do homework. Then stick with it. I should visit a shrink or school counselor for support. Prayer helps me too. I am going to write a plan for exercise and Tai Chi too. I always feel better after I run and lift weights. It maybe all the hotties I see at the gym though.

4/27/2005 1:08 PM  
Blogger Iva Mae said...

Heath, you seem to be as unfocused as Jazmine. :) Take it from an old lady, the only that works is work. Break the job down into tiny steps and insist to yourself, 'I WILL do these today' and do them! Good luck on the bar exam. You need to get busy!

4/28/2005 8:35 AM  
Blogger JustJunebug said...

as a fellow sufferer of ADHD (which i transposed that on my list of random things but have since fixed), i feel your pain jasmine. i know this from my own affliction of same. some days its worse than others.

i was trying to figure out how too much TV factors in, but then after i thought about it, i suppose there might be some logic to that. to be able to remote back and forth between shows and follow storylines and such? not sure, but thats where my first thought process went to. if it is true then at least now i know how i acquired this thing they call ADHD. at least the attention part of it. the hyperactivity part, i have no idea.

hope its gotten better since all your exams are done!

6/06/2005 9:08 AM  

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