Four free dogs and a monkey

I say often that I love new york. I love the people. They’re weird, aggressive, sometimes brilliant, sometimes not, but always entertaining. If you’re paying attention you also know that I love craigslist. I regularly scan the missed connections, the personals, the rants and raves, and last but not least…the free items section. I recently ran across these two classics. I did not make this stuff up. I’m not nearly that bright or witty, trust me. I loved these and saved them and am posting them for the rest of you to enjoy.

Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/zip/27465337.html
Posted by: anon-27465337@craigslist.org
Posted on: 2005-??-27, 12:22AM
hi, in a fit of impulse I bought a case of thin mint girl scout cookies. They used to be my favorite. But it was just too much and now I am very sick of them. So I am going to give away my last 5 boxes. So this sunday the 28th (march) at exactly 4:30 in the afternoon I will be standing near the entrance of the dog park in Tompkins Square Park wearing a dark grey suit and a cowboy hat. I will give a free box of cookies to the first five people that give me a rose. It doesn’t have to be a rose. Just some kind of flower. You give me a flower I give you cookies. On sunday I will answer to the name Scott. I’m thinking that this Sunday I might answer to the name Eliza. Just for the hell of it.


Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/zip/27588330.html
Posted by: anon-27588330@craigslist.org
Posted on: 2005-??-29, 8:22AM
somehow my last message disappeared from craigslist. i'm really desperate and need help NOW. please keep this message on until someone can help me out, at least. this is what I have...four free dogs. Two of them are large sized, about up to my waist. One is brown and the other sort of milky grey, with a large black patch of hair on his belly. The "black hair patch" dog has a limp, as it was stepped on by a truck driver doing a delivery one day. But he's very kind. The other two dogs are about the size of a bowling ball, but not round like that. One is more round and the other pretty skinny. I don't know the breeds, but they have scratchy hair. You may have seen me with them because I walk them all together usually from Lexington to Central Park and I like to go down 80th street. I also have a monkey but he looks sort of sick. I think you'd need a vet for him. I got him in New Jersey about three years ago. All of these are free and I have individual bowls for the dog and a leash for the monkey. I have to get rid of them because I need an operation in a week that's pretty serious and I don't have anywhere for them to stay. They all get along great except for the monkey and the larger small dog. But I'd hate to split them up. Serious inquiries only. I would rather that they didn't go to the Bronx or Staten Island. Nothing personal.