am i immature?
so a little while back there was this guy that i kinda liked. i used to call him "sweet ben." (side note: is it just a girl thing to make up nicknames for guys? they all have nicknames, i.e. CIA guy, russian mark, random dan, jesse the chef, ivan the engine, bracelet jeff, irish gareth, jet setter greg, internet jason, and on, and on). so i went out with “sweet ben" one night and we slept together. he calls, we chit chat, he tells me he thinks that "we could be great friends," don't i agree? notwithstanding that this is the first guy in a long time i've actually wanted to date, instead of just doing the normal guy thing and not calling, he calls with the lamest most cliche line ever. i can't decide whether i appreciate the honesty and straightforwardness or whether i would rather he'd not called at all so that we wouldn't have to discuss that he doesn't really like me that much (tried to avoid the VERY overused, "he's just not that into me" line). we've known each other for almost a year so i knew i liked him as a person. to alleviate the sting, my roommate has re-nicknamed him and now calls him "two-minute ben" which references the length of the sex the night we slept together (yeah, i know...he was bad and i still liked him anyways, am i a fool?). but you know what? the new nickname made me feel so much better. is that immature of me? to resort to name calling to make the hit to my ego hurt less?
But honestly…two minutes…AND he couldn’t go again after that. okay…now I’m really being immature. I’m airing his lack of bedroom skills in public...
I’m feeling better already!
oh! and he snores!
ah....so damn theraputic...
posted by jazz @ 10:23 PM
14 people who played with me:
He's probably a gay but hasn't come out just yet.
And it has nothing to do with you.
I have this theory about maturity… It’s kind of like a Hot Pocket. It seems like a good idea at the time, but more often than not, it just gives you diarrhea. Wait… maybe that’s just my theory on Hot Pockets… Any way, maturity is over rated, just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t mean you have to too. I mean, if everyone else was investing in a 401K and planning their retirement, would you invest in a 401K and plan your retirement also? I thought not… Maturity will be there waiting when you’re ready for it. I don’t expect to get there myself until I’m well into my hundreds…probably when I hit about 158 or so, it will be time to start taking life seriously.
The ego is a powerful thing.
Yours makes you call him names to feel better. Nothing wrong with that.
His makes him say, "I finally got her in bed and now she found out I'm a two-pump chump. I had better cut my ties..."
Considering the power of the internet in being able to show how inferior/stupid other people are, what you've done is relatively tame.
Also, you're allowed to act a bit aghast when having hackneyed phrases thrown at you like you're a 16 year old...
thumbs up on guys responding to a chick in crisis.
except maybe the 401k thing. ha.
You're not immature at all. Completely off your rocker, sure, but immature? Don't be ridiculous. :)
Seriously, though, two minutes? That guy's like a marathon runner.
But one of those marathon runners who can't have sex for very long.
No guilt. It always makes it easier when he sucks in bed. Kind of like you're not missing anything anyway, right?
it's deflating to think, "this is a great guy and he's not interested in me" as opposed to, "this guy isn't interested in me? he's a fucking idiot!"
you're feeling sorry for yourself if you think the first and are in denial if you think the second (he's not really an idiot, he's a pretty nice guy, etc). have yet to discover that middle ground...
oh my... 2 minutes??? hihihihi... hahahaha.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sometimes the cruelty is the only thing that gets you through...and yeah, the nickname thing seems to be a part of girl talk. All of my boyfriends have names that would distinguish them quite well, but if I use their name, my friends follow up with "Was that____" and add the nickname. And the names are usually cruel if they dumped me. Seems only fair.
anyone who has treated you badly or even just gotten himself into something he couldn't handle at the expense of your feelings deserves to have his ineptitude published for the world to see.
personally, i made the password to one of my accounts 'name-of-nice-guy-who-wronged-me'sucks so every single day i remember how it doesn't matter how great he is; what he did was really shitty and i didn't deserve it. immature, but therapeutic.
i hope 'two-minute ben' finds out people know him that way. odds are he had an idea he wasn't into it before he got you into bed, too. so nickname away.
Came across your blog while surfing at work, and it's great. Had to comment here because I totally feel your pain.
I too do the nickname thing, and if the same thing happened to me, I'd change his name. The sad part of the story is the fact that this guy is totally missing out on someone great. . . His loss.
Your response is he or someone else drops the "we could be great friends" line in the future:
"Yes we could, but that would involve you removing your head from your ass."
Great friends don't treat each other that way.
Insightful comments. Very supportive crowd.
On the name thing. I think guys do it too, but they're usually less adorable. Things like, "Huge- knockers Kim," "Screeching-laugh Brittany" and stuff. I think that's their big secret. Funny that none of the guys commenting on this told you. Proof that it is, after all, a secret known only to guys.
I have a friend, Steve, who does it. He says nice things like, "Sweet Sue" and "Beautiful Emma" or "Genius Nicole." I'm serious about that, too.
Also, I read a poem years ago called "Crush Worthy" by Big Poppa E (www.brokenword.org)and it was about that nicknaming people you're in love with. It was awesome.
Ivan the Engine? lol Love the blog Jazz!
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