Thursday, June 22, 2006

work boyfriend for hire!

OVERWEIGHT, BALDING, LYING, CHEATING, LIFE-LONG LEGAL TEMP
Now available!!
Yes, people, that's right! I've put him back out on the market! Have fun and just know that when you get your sweet Bergdorf Goodman Chloe shoes early-on, he'll make you earn them back, every penny, with emotional torment and mental game playing.
Have fun!
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so after breaking up with WB yesterday, i woke up this morning and had the most amazing day i've had in a long time. i got a free jamba juice, i discovered the best BEST sandwich place near work (and it's cheap) and i got a raise!! and you don't want to know how much i'm making now. suffice it to say that it's absolutely sickening.

as for the men, though there are several very good looking people at the office (and one in particular that i'm getting quite close with), i think i'll go back to my strict "no shitting where i eat" policy. you know, that one i should have stuck with in the first place. i'm planning a trip to chicago to see my best friends kate and niks and that guy ryan (who i secretly think i'll marry) where i can show him my new orgasming skills (we've flat out talked about the next time we'll be able to sleep together). and there's a very lovely, extremely successful guy (read: owns a company with international offices) who has been very very attentive recently. he's like a hawk, circling it's prey. he knew "ex who must be nicknamed" was on the outs. and he sends flowers. for no reason!

so let the dating game begin. bring it.

**************************************************************
INTELLIGENT, SEXY, THOUGHTFUL, FUNNY, BLOGGER W/BIG BOOBS
Now available for a funny, honest, intelligent, kind, reliable man who is ready for the ride of his life. Send a cover letter and resume maybe YOU will be the next guy lucky enough to come home with me someday...

19 people who played with me:

Blogger The Big Cheese said...

Cool! Now start posting more pictures of your boobies.

6/22/2006 11:51 PM  
Blogger Joefish said...

Instead of submitting a resume, can we just send you random photos of male strippers that we feebly attempt to pass off as ourselves?

Not that I'd do that or anything. I'm just clarifying. In case someone else was wondering.

6/23/2006 1:30 AM  
Blogger steller said...

i think you will have a better chance of getting a great guy if you log in to webdatedotcom.

6/23/2006 8:06 AM  
Blogger Nadia said...

Huzzah!

6/23/2006 9:52 AM  
Blogger Andy said...

Nice work Jazz. good luck with the dating scene. I think I'm throwing in the towel personally. Time to buy a dog.

6/23/2006 12:19 PM  
Blogger Ivan Drago said...

Its about time you dump that dumpy looking loser. Thought you quit 65 when I didnt see you for weeks. Good luck in Soho and in the pursuit of a new WB. Keep us posted and please go back to showing more skin in the HNTs. Resume will follow.

6/23/2006 2:05 PM  
Blogger Gordy said...

Good luck with your b/f search. I am sure you won't have any trouble finding someone much more suitable and deserving of your love, attention and of course HOT BODY!

Wave to me when you get to Chicago

6/23/2006 3:01 PM  
Blogger R. U. Serious said...

I'm glad you dumped him, but disappointed it took this long.

The guy's a tool and, to be blunt, were he here and did that to a friend of mine I'd have paid him a visit.

6/23/2006 3:46 PM  
Blogger Jon said...

It's about time you dumped him. Resume update on the way :D

6/23/2006 8:43 PM  
Blogger The Seeker said...

Well, at least you got the orgasm out of it. :-) Congrats on being up.

6/24/2006 6:12 PM  
Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

Any plans on visiting Seattle?

J/K

Good you got rid of him, douchebags are good for one thing only. Speedbumps.

6/24/2006 7:39 PM  
Blogger Gloria Glo said...

High time, ma'am. Past high time.

6/25/2006 12:21 AM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

so does this open the forum for exwb nicknames? if so, i nominate "turtle turd." it seems unoffensive until you pick up the shell...

6/25/2006 12:56 PM  
Blogger Popeye said...

What? You get free Jamba Juice when you break up with someone in New York? Damn, Chicago needs some work.

6/26/2006 8:42 AM  
Blogger stretch td said...

Too funny. I'm glad you finally kicked the loser to the curb. You (and your big boobs) were too good for him.

6/26/2006 2:45 PM  
Blogger daniel said...

Key Selection Criteria required.

Plz. Thx.

6/26/2006 8:14 PM  
Blogger Syar said...

nowehere to go but up now that you've dropped the dead weight. good for you, Jazz.

6/26/2006 11:48 PM  
Blogger MEP said...

It sounds like it's for the best. Good luck!

6/27/2006 9:03 PM  
Blogger Peter DeWolf said...

INTELLIGENT, SEXY, THOUGHTFUL, FUNNY, BLOGGER W/BIG BOOBS

I wandered in from grin's site and this caught my attention ;)

Cool site!

8/06/2006 11:33 AM  

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