oh, the places i have to go
it's been hard to focus lately. i've been forgetting silly things that i should be remembering. i've been getting on the wrong trains or missing my connections. for someone who claims to have control issues, i seem to be losing it.
i think of my grandmother, who only knows who i am on the good days. worrying about my genes, i submitted to 23andme for some genetic mapping. i'm actually less likely to get alzheimers than the average person (must be the asian part of me, thanks dad), but i'm actually missing half my map in that i don't carry my father's Y chromosome. so i'm going to have my brother spit into his test tube and send it along so i can map out my shit.
that place connects you to people that they know you're likely related to (however distantly, i think some of them were 5th cousins or something) but one of them lived in the midwest and had the name fetty, which my grandmothers grandparent's last name. crazy and awesome. i'm half afraid i'll discover some half siblings (i know my father has other children with other women) and that's a reality i'm not sure i'm ready an willing to confront in such a forward way.
the original point of this wasn't even to go into all that. it was to talk about the friends i need to visit. the trip i must take back to ithaca because i love ithaca. the friends in chapel hill with whom we'll drink wine by a fireplace and drink red until the wee hours. the friends in baltimore who had the wedding full of wildflowers and paper lanterns and herbal teas tied with ribbons as party favors, my grandparents who are now in an assisted living center on the opposite coast. there's just not enough time. i have to schedule in days to do my damn laundry.
i'm headed for south america for two weeks in december. lima, cuzco, santiago and easter island. have booked all my hotels, b&bs, hostels. all that's left is reading up on my history enough to appreciate what i'm seeing and finding the right restaurants so that i'll know i'm eating well. certainly a more expensive trip than SE Asia but what isn't?