my obsession with HGTV

had a few days off back in nyc that i hadn't planned for, and hadn't made plans for my city time. so justin and i spent many many hours (some 3 on new years eve and another 12 on new years day) watching HGTV. I AM OBSESSED. i found so many boyfriends there, you guys! how hot is scott mcgillivray? and don't get me started on john gilling. LOVE LOVE LOVE. (and, naturally he's gay because all the loves of my life are.) this jamie durie is FINE, even if he is slightly wacky and you know he's gotta have a guru that travels with him or something. and even this antonio ballatore guy is cute when he's wearing his hipster frames and his motley crew are funny/punkish/awesome. after my HGTV marathon i was thoroughly convinced that i knew some of these people. i wanted mike holmes to be my new adopted big brother, the tough guy exterior with a teddy bear inside who could also totally make my house safe and wire it correctly. several hours of "bang for your buck" and i was converted. it's awesome seeing these random people spend so much money on renovations and then seeing their reactions when designers come in and critique what they've done. lots of marital angst to be seen on that program, surprisingly. monica pederson is my new secret bff. she's so pretty, and plucky, and genuinely nice-seeming. 

it got to the point where we'd see subway tiles as a backsplash on someone's kitchen and justin and i would look at each other and say, "oh vern will totally love those!" and then vern steps in and is all, "oh, i love the subway tile backsplash." we ordered in two meals, all entered to win the HGTV dream home. by the end of the evening i was seriously considering ordering cable. CRAZY. especially since the whole network is clearly about buying houses and repairing/renovating them, when i'll maybe never in my life own a home. i mean, it would be a total lapse in judgment. watching kitchen renovations is my new crack. i cannot stop. and watching with teh gays adds a whole dimension. case in point: we're watching income property and scott walks up to the door to greet his clients and both justin and brian say, "he flexed his butt! did you see that?!" and i clearly didn't because i don't spend my days checking out guy's asses. so THANK GOD for DVR, we rewound and watched him, indeed, flex his butt muscles not once, but twice! i mean, this is "the entertainment" level of dangerous here. left to our own devices we may have stopped remembering to feed ourselves or to relieve ourselves or to even sleep. 

do we sound like crazy people? we totally are. oh, and it gets WORSE. we took a brief hiatus to watch the most recent episode of jersey shore wherein, despite my rantings, i officially have a mini-crush on vinny even though he's only 21 and on the worst reality television show ever. next to big brother. 

in short, over a short period of 12 hours i think i lost 20% of my brain power to television shows that have no bearing whatsoever on my real life.