Thursday, August 06, 2009

sicky, tired, more douchebags, babies, wha?


every evening at the tunnel that connects the 4/5/6 trains at grand central to the 7 train there stands a small man, severely hunched over, playing (or doing something that sounds like playing) a violin. i think hes quite possibly one of the saddest kinds of people i see performing on the streets. every day he screeches away, somewhat awful sounds coming from his instrument. i always wonder where these people live. whether they have families. one of those questions was answered for me the other day. at 6:45 as i was walking to the subway from my apartment, i see him headed to the train, just in front of me. so the sad violin man apparently is my neighbor. 
 
 
overheard conversation of two maintenance people at work: "how you doin?" "i didn't kill my wife today, so, so far so good!"
 
sitting on the train the other day i heard 5 distinct languages around me. for a brief second i felt like i was in a different country. it was kind of awesome. 
 
i swear people, i could not make this shit up, even if i tried. no matter how creative i wanted or tried to be, i would never have been able to come up with stories this good. erika and i are at a bar. erika is somewhat of a rabbit's foot when it comes to nights out. whenever we play, something interesting happens and we always meet someone. last time was the juice king and and OMG josh hartnett. so we go to happy hour at lure, load up on $1 oysters then head to merc bar where i became buddies with a bartender a few months back. we're chatting with said bartender and some guy kind of butts in. he's fairly pretty but is wearing a navy coat and a pocket square. we can tell right off that he's arrogant as shit. he introduces us to pettier black gay dude and they seem such an unlikely couple except for the fact that the gay dude can't stop gushing about the pocket square's "armani suit, isn't it beautiful?" and i start to think that the straight dude is only hanging around with this twink so that he'll have someone to give him compliments on demand. gay dude is having all his drinks bought for him so they've got some symbiotic thing going on. "so ladies, i'm meeting a date here. when she shows up, you have to pretend like you've never met me. my ex-fiancee never liked me talking to other women." i couldn't help myself and blurted, "but you came over and talked to us! we didn't want anything to do with you in the first place!" he laughed a sort of country-club laugh, talked about how his father played in some rock band that he "couldn't" name because it was too famous. meet tabber benedict. YES people. these guys exist and they all live in new york and they're all ridiculous. THIS IS MY LIFE. ugh. 

re: lack of posting...work has been busy as hell. and when i'm not working, i'm playing and i've been left with very little time for ME. no time for writing. so today is a sick day. i feel like utter shit. coughing up a lung, not sleeping and haven't eaten more than a coffee and a couple cups of soup since sunday. so for the first time in ages i actually called in sick. i slept all day. feeling kind of out of sorts and i have a doctors appt tomorrow so hopefully i'll get some decent cough syrup, some antibiotics and be on the way to recovery. it's nice to actually have time to sleep. i wonder if i'm not suffering some form of exhaustion. seriously. i'm over-extended. i'm being pulled in 5 different directions at any given time. besides the core group of the gays, none of my friends are friends with each other. 
 
i was walking with a co-worker and we hear "what's up ladies!" and turn around to see two guys who couldn't have been more than 14 years old. one had his pants around his knees as boys are wont to do these days. my friend says, "pull up your pants!" and he says, "yes ma'am." and does, indeed, pull his pants up. i felt very matronly.

so kate, the best friend of all best friends...started trying to have a baby a couple weeks ago and bitch is already pregnant! it's still super early so you never know and some 20 percent of first pregnancies end in miscarriage so she's not telling anyone but me and family for now but DAMN. also, the really selfish part of me feels like life is over as i know it. once they have kids it's ALL about the children, all the time. that being said, when i go to chicago we do nothing but hang at the house anyhow so that won't change. and she mostly talks about school so now she'll talk about school and baby, which i can deal with. she's already talking about how i'll schedule a trip home to be there for the delivery which, i dont know, is scary. and bloody. and wouldn't i just be in the way? so, hello! unchartered territory in my friendship! i have a grand total of 3 friends that are even married and none of the rest of them are trying. new york is the kind of place where people don't get married and even those that do, seem to wait forever to have kids. unless they're jewish. then it's all, "i need to find a husband and have 3 kids before i turn 27." i cannot relate. 

starting to feel woozy again so i guess i'll take yet ANOTHER nap. the picture up top is from an excellent pool party in fire island (the pines) with the gays last weekend. i'm going to try to return there in my head through this cough-syrup haze...i like that dude on the left who's all, "ick, who ARE these people?" heh.

5 people who played with me:

OpenID peterdewolf said...

You're the one with the boobs?

8/07/2009 1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just saw your post about christian scherer. leaving a comment here because i figured you're more likely to see it. HE IS STILL AT IT. how do i get in touch with you? you will die when you hear this!

8/07/2009 1:40 PM  
Blogger jazz said...

hey anon! i wish i could say i was surprised...but i'm not. he'd been a cheater for YEARS before i met him and will always be a cheater.

you can e-mail me at: jazzinstrangeplaces@gmail.com if you want to give me the story. i'll bet it sounds just like mine...

8/07/2009 3:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You seem to love to defame guys on here. Are you a bitter woman or just have no sense of humor. I know a lot of the guys you have written about and a lot of what you write is either not true or spun like the web of a black widow. What is your aim and how do you have so much time to talk so much trash about so many people. I think you need to take up a new hobby

2/10/2010 12:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So lets get this straight, you defame people and name them publicly but you get to stay anynomous. nice. Why don't you tell us your name? Jazz you just sound a bit jaded my lady :-)

2/19/2010 4:20 PM  

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