subway diaries chapter 7: in which the conductor freaks me out

for all gothamites, the subway is a way of life. this is the fourth in a series of my thoughts on this modus transportare publico. i'm fluent in faux latin, be impressed.

another tale from my favorite conductor...he's a comedian now. and creepy. and no longer such a favorite.

"ladies and gentlemen, i'd like to tell you a story." and he goes on about how he's a member of the new york heath and racquet club and he was in the locker room and answered the phone and told the woman on the other end she could buy all this stuff for herself and the end of the story he turns in the cellphone to the front desk and tells the receptionist that someone left it in there. so i guess it was a joke. or something.

and today i was actually in the car with the conductor. this is only something that happens when the train is pulling up right as i'm getting to the platform and don't have enough time to walk to the front of the train where i know i'll need to exit (on an unrelated note: i think this is what makes people real new yorkers...when they know which car in the train to ride in so that when they hit their stop they'll be right at the exit).

so this conductor comes out and i'm sitting right across from this little booth and he just starts staring me down. and i'm reading my new yorker, trying to mind my own business and i can feel his beady eyes baring down on me. so i continue to ignore him but he doesn't move and i have never been so happy to arrive at my stop that i literally run off the train in case he's watching out his window for me as i exit.

creepy!