Thursday, November 30, 2006

big thanksgiving announcement!

i carved the turkey this year!

previously, carving the turkey seemed like the man's job. i don't have a father so it was always my grandpa's job. but because my mom is like bob vila and handy as all hell (my grandfather had wanted a boy and got my mom instead, so he taught her manly things. she's good with cars, plumbing, she built our deck and used the jackhammer herself and everything) he sometimes let my mom do it.

since my mother moved to CA and since i've had to spend christmas out there i've been going to chicago (home) for thanksgiving. and every year the turkey carving has become more and stressful. my grandpa's hands shake, a lot. i think he has this. anyway, it makes carving the turkey a scary thing. first, because i'm afraid he'll cut his fingers off. second, because he has a huge temper and gets really frustrated when he can't do it right because his hands are going crazy.

so this year i decided to do something about it. i was afraid that he'd think i couldn't handle it (because i'm just a weakling female, nothing like my manly mother). but when i said, "i want to learn how to carve a turkey! can i try it?" my grandma says in a worried tone, "oh, well, i don't know, it's up to your grandfather." grandpa says, "sure! i don't really like to do it anyhow."

and with that, i had the knife and grandpa coaching over my shoulder to pull the legs off and my grandma handing me a huge forky thing to hold the turkey with. i started making my vertical slices down towards the tray and, due mostly to the sharpest knife i'd ever handled, the stuff started falling down perfectly. they should have filmed this shit for commercials. it was beautiful.

grandpa was impressed. said i did a "nice job young lady" which is probably as big a compliment as i've EVER gotten out of the man.

crisis averted. y'all can call me turkey carving goddess if you'd like.

6 people who played with me:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was a charming story...

And now I'm suddenly hungry.

11/30/2006 4:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no way. my grandfather has the shakes too! he's had an essential tremor his whole life (his brother, too). a few years ago, he had chips implanted in his brain that are controlled by these battery packs, and when he uses them, it's like he never shook at all.

i've never carved a turkey, but i have served wedding cake, which is pretty close, i guess.

11/30/2006 4:57 PM  
Blogger Wags said...

My mother has an essential tremor, but she does alright with it. Whereas my uncle has parkinson's disease, and his shaking is much worse. Anyway, I went home for the first time in about a decade and we had three turkey's! Three! Lol. There were 14 people to eat them, and each was only about 12 lbs, so it was about right. I smoked one, and friends of the family fried the other two. I think I am still full from last weekend.

11/30/2006 7:04 PM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

way to go, turkey! er, turkey goddess! :)

11/30/2006 9:00 PM  
Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

Good job, up next is learning to cook the bird.
:-)

But I'd bet your grandmother might not love that plan.

11/30/2006 11:20 PM  
Blogger Ale said...

whats next? uncorking wine bottles with bare hands?

thats really cool though that your mom can build a deck!

11/30/2006 11:34 PM  

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