Wednesday, February 18, 2009

kittens! julia allison, cougardom

my friends are obsessed with this video. it must get quoted at least once every half an hour. at least.
i think i let my future husband slip through my fingers the other day. bloomingdales had a sale on cuisinart food processors. originally $200 on sale for $79.99. STEAL. so i get to the table and there are two left and as i grab one, this cute brooklyny-intellectual-looking guy grabs the other one AT THE EXACT SAME TIME. ZOMG. i see he's cute, and am shocked into stunned silence by it all. then i get shy and pretend to look at the other cuisinarts on sale and he gets swooped up by a saleslady and brought to a register across the store. he was definitely meant to be my life partner. how sad is that?
my life is more work than play at the moment. what that means for you is less frequent (and definitely less entertaining, if my posts are ever entertaining) posting.
and i think this is insane. because julia allison is friends with the guy who invented tumblr, she gets to have all tumblrs that are unkind to her taken down. hey julia, fuck you! you are an F-list celebrity for several reasons. 1.) you plagarized for your college paper. 2.) you've devoted your life to hanging around powerful/rich people wearing as little clothing as possible which was the impetus for 3.) you whoring yourself out to an elected official. none of these make you special, they make you pathetic. the only reason that you're anybody at all is because gawker cares enough to write about you. all this is to prove that you, my dear, are no journalist. if a journalist knows and cares about one thing, it's their first amendment rights. you're a hollow shell of a human being and a total sham as far as your "professional" life is acknowleged. you represent everything that feminism has rebelled against for decades. you're a cheating, dumb, gossipy wisp and the only thing you have are your looks. so it's fine that you're a hanger-on because it's the only thing you're good at. but to get holier-than-thou when it comes to freedom of expression on the internet? i mean really...
a guy i know links to his brother's wedding website. as we were chatting yesterday...
me: also, your younger brother: straight, single, local? set a girl up ;)
him: sigh
  he's younger
  better looking
  and, for now, not single
  he's 19!
me: 19?! now i feel so cougary.

3 people who played with me:

Blogger omar said...

YOU got shy?! I'm shocked and disappointed, Jasmine. And saddened.

2/18/2009 9:29 AM  
Blogger Cousin said...

I know, I wasn't there, but somehow I can't shake the feeling that your future husband will never have purchased a cuisinart food processor. Magic Bullet, maybe. But on his behalf and your other male readers, let me just say that 1) we understand about the light posting and 2) as recent posts remind us, a picture is worth 1,000 words.

2/18/2009 3:02 PM  
Blogger Wags said...

Apparently I need to hang out in the kitchen section more to meet women and be on the lookout for good sales. $80! I've been on the edge about buying one for years, at that price I definitely would.

2/18/2009 3:51 PM  

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