Friday, October 12, 2007

friday rant

everyone has a co-worker that they hate. let's talk about chris.

first, chris is an idiot. he's just the stupidest person ever with zero common sense. i have no patience with stupid people.

second, his eating habits. not only does he start with huge donuts and coke in the morning. and not only does he make like 5 trips to the vending machine for candy bars and skittles. and surprisingly, he's not obese but he's, without a doubt, giving himself diabetes. but i digress. when he gets food, he shovels it into his mouth. he'll take a forkful, stick it in his mouth. then, without chewing, he'll take another forkful and shove it into his mouth. AND THEN HE'LL DO IT AGAIN. until the his cheeks look like a hamster storing food for later at which point then he'll try to chew but you can hear it because he can't close his mouth because THERE'S TOO MUCH FOOD IN IT.

it is the most disgusting thing i've ever witnessed and to keep myself from having a seizure i have started to physically leave the room for 20 minutes while he's eating.

he is always talking about ex girlfriends and lacey and i are certain that he's making them all up. every single one. because no girl would date this guy because he's stupid and disgusting.

he is constantly sighing loudly. he does it ALL DAY.

his favorite thing to do is complain about bad things that happen to him but he never admits responsibility for it. "i took my car in to get the tires changed and they said they couldn't give it back to me until tomorrow!" even though i heard him on the phone with said auto shop and heard them tell him in advance they couldn't get it back same day. yet he doesn't believe them, brings his car there and gets annoyed. or how about the fact he took the new york state bar without studying and is annoyed that he didn't pass. he left his apt in boston to move to new york without subletting it first and now complains endlessly that he's paying rent in two places.

the things that all of these stories have in common is you, buddy, and you're a moron.

that is all. thank you.

p.s. i may add to this list sporadically as i'm reminded of other annoying things...

6 people who played with me:

Blogger Peter DeWolf said...

So... do you like him? Not like him? What?

10/12/2007 12:12 PM  
Blogger Cousin said...

I dunno, if he's a looker, over 5'7" but stupid and disgusting, someone will date him (see ABC's "Hooking Up" mini-series of several years ago). But trying to have a car in NYC -- now *that's* stupid!

10/12/2007 2:07 PM  
Blogger The Magician said...

Could be worse. At least he's not constantly flirting with you, standing too close and smelling like cheese. Not that I've had that experience. Just saying. Maybe imagining him naked would help (or at least in his tightie whities, holding a bag of chips, spilling crumbs and stuffing his face).

10/12/2007 5:10 PM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

for some reason when you described his style of eating, i automatically got a mental picture of what kind of crud must be inside his computer keyboard and my stomach started to turn.

10/13/2007 11:27 AM  
Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

I have yet to find a job that does not have "that guy" and I've posted about the one at my work a few times.

The eating thing would bug me the most. I just can't enjoy my lunch if someone is being a douche like that...

10/14/2007 3:50 PM  
Blogger Syar said...

I hate that complaining-but-not-taking-responsibility habit. It drives me up the wall.

I'm kinda chuckling at the first one though, cause if he came up to me all sighing, talking about his non-existent exes and complaining about his rent, car and general loserish-ness, my first response to be to stuff a fistful of something in his mouth to shut him up.

Oooh. Rant relief. Thanks for letting me vent vicariously. Safest way to keep my blood pressure down. (says the 19-year-old creative writing student)

10/16/2007 9:47 PM  

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