Tuesday, July 31, 2007

proud mama

a dear dear friend of mine from college has always been somewhat of a late bloomer/slow mover.

she literally didn't lose her virginity until she was 25. and, at least in my view, it was to no fault of her own. she's smart, charismatic, athletic, cute and funny as hell. it was always a mystery to me why guys weren't falling all over her. i think the problem was that she doesn't really exude sex. she's really the girl you meet at a bar and think, "she's the kind i bring home to mother." and a lot of guys in new york aren't looking for that nice girl.

she wasn't saving herself for marriage or anything like that. but on that rare occasion she'd find someone to hook up with, he'd be scared away by her virginity even though she was dying to lose it, just so she could get it over with and move on.

so, needless to say, she's never really had any serious boyfriends either.

and she's always been a bit prude. the one who cringes when she hears the word pussy or cock (sorry, to those who are now going to have this post blocked at work for the language). the one who turns red anytime she even refers to sexual activity. i've taught her how to give blow jobs and been her general (if infrequent) guru on all things sex.

she's started dating this guy. and things are going fabulously. and he's nice as can be. i get an e-mail today: "we have to talk. he's huge."

a tear nearly came to my eye. my little girl is all grown up!!

4 people who played with me:

Blogger cadiz12 said...

somebody once told me that i was the kind they bring home to mother and she was the kind they cheat on my type with. i think she meant that as a compliment, but i couldn't help but want to kick her.

7/31/2007 10:37 AM  
Blogger Peter DeWolf said...

15 comments that I am not going to leave about this part: "i've taught her how to give blow jobs"...

1- Was there a banana involved in anyway?

2- Did anyone utter the phrase, "Chloraseptic can numb your gag reflex."

3- Did you warn her about the "just give it a little kiss" maneuver?

4- Did you tell her that it makes a perfect gift for birthdays or bar mitzvahs?

5- You are going to get a BUTTLOAD of google search hits because of this.

6- Not from me though... Probably.

7- Why is this the first of heard of said of cute friend?

8- What other lessons do you give, Jazz?

9- There was a squirrel on my lawn this morning.

10- #9 was not a euphemism.

(Damn you, why did I claim to have 15 replies.)

11- Did you teach her to use it as a tool to win arguments?

12- ALL arguments.

13- Did you offer the training, or did she request it?

14- How was the subject broached?

15- What was the testing method at the end of her training?

7/31/2007 10:40 AM  
Blogger Neily said...

So so many questions I have that would only A: increase your estimated search hits and B: would be unsavory for some/most of your readers

7/31/2007 11:43 AM  
Blogger Cousin said...

As an admitted prude, I can only guess that reading this is what it felt like watching "Sex and the City"

7/31/2007 1:13 PM  

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