Friday, June 01, 2007

what's in a name?

this guy i've been seeing/sleeping with/whatever...his name is earth. i'm embarrassed every time i have to introduce him to someone. "katie, this is...um......earth" (as i cringe and make a "yeah, seriously, it is" face).

this has provided endless fodder for my friends, obviously. a sampling:

"jazz, how's our favorite planet?"

"invite the whole universe why
don't you!"

"jasmine, just have sex with him and get it out of
your solar system."

"so have you let him near your
uranus?"

"he seems to think the sun revolves around
him..."

and even HE titled his first e-mail to me, "greetings
from earth"

i'm thinking i have to 86 this guy. it's not like the sex is out of this world.*

*don't worry, i rolled my eyes at myself as i typed that.

18 people who played with me:

Blogger Peter DeWolf said...

I have to think that I'd go by my initials.

And put my parents in a pretty shady home.

6/01/2007 9:09 AM  
Blogger omar said...

I'd say he should go by his middle name, but it's probably something like "Rainbow." I'll never understand why parents do stuff like that to their kids. Peter's got it right that mom and dad would totally get the basement apartment in an inexpensive assisted living facility.

The only benefit to a name like that is being able to cleverly name your body parts.

6/01/2007 10:44 AM  
Blogger Nadia said...

The sex may not be out of this world, but at least he'll keep you grounded.

6/01/2007 11:09 AM  
Blogger Neily said...

If you give him a chance maybe his gravitational pull will suck you in.

So whats it like to be the Queen of Earth?

Is his middle name 'ling'?

Sorry *lower's head*

6/01/2007 11:31 AM  
Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

"Not like the sex is out of this world."

F'ing priceless. That has to be the greatest slam in the history of the...

Wait, I'll leave that one alone

6/01/2007 11:40 AM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

Reminds me of this kid i once met named Boysenberry, or "Boysen" for short. Good sex or not, you've gotta give the kid credit for being able to laugh about the legacy his parents gave him.

i'm curious. what IS his middle name?

6/01/2007 12:52 PM  
Blogger Teacher said...

I worked with a guy named Bent Winki.. seriously.

I also know a girl named Dorkus. Serioulsy. But Earth.. well that has to universally be the worst!

6/01/2007 1:43 PM  
Blogger Alexandra said...

so you're not really down to earth are you...

but hahahahaha not out of this world!!! do you like... space out during it or something?

ok yep he's gotta go-

6/01/2007 3:17 PM  
Blogger Former Intern Andy said...

Listen, if he's all non-renewable resources, then that means you'll be leaving him for another planet eventually. And anyway, before long, his bipolar personality will flip suddenly, and the magnetic field which protects you from harmful radiation from space will disappear.

Plus, better to do it now while the gravitational pull isn't so strong.

This may be, collectively, the most creative post ever.

6/01/2007 4:41 PM  
Blogger Nikhil said...

Atleast he makes fun of himself. His name is right up there along with "Shitake" - apparently some parents wanted to name their kids that.

6/01/2007 8:33 PM  
Blogger omar said...

I hope he treats you like you're the only woman on Earth.

More later.

6/02/2007 4:48 PM  
Blogger Bridge said...

Are you positive the sex is no good?

Surely, the earth moved?!

If it didn't then that kinda explains things...

6/03/2007 1:18 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Nikhil: Is that pronounced 'Shee-tah-kay'?? Gawd I hope so...

'Earth'...and I though Joaquin Phoneix' siblings' names were daft - Summer, Rainbow (or something) and River...then again 'River' was 'Rio' which i suppose is kinda cool...what are 'Summer' and 'Rainbow' in Spanish?

6/03/2007 8:19 PM  
Blogger omar said...

Earth doesn't have much going on in the southern hemisphere.

6/04/2007 10:05 AM  
Blogger omar said...

If you broke up with him, it would be Earth-shattering.

6/05/2007 8:25 AM  
Blogger jazz said...

if someone were to walk in on us having sex, would they exclaim, "what on earth are you doing?!"

wheeeee!!!

6/05/2007 4:23 PM  
Blogger Jon said...

You know, when I first read that his name was Earth (and I promise I haven't spent the last few days trying to come up with something clever... ok, maybe I have... and I failed...) I thought, "Geez, why didn't his parents just name him, "Punchmeinthefacerightnow." but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that if my parents had given me a name like that, I would have been overly proud of it. I would have talked about myself in the third person non-stop.

"Bring the Earth some food!"

"The Earth is ready for his close up."

"You can run, but there's nowhere on the Earth that you can hide."

But mostly, I keep thinking that Earth... as in Mother Earth, is a girls name.

6/06/2007 1:54 AM  
Blogger Nadia said...

At least you know that if you stick around long enough, he'll eventually send you to the moon.

6/10/2007 11:57 AM  

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