Tuesday, June 12, 2007

beauty guinea pig part 3: in which i cleanse

i'm a bit of a junkie. a beauty junkie. and both in bed and in life, i always say i'll try anything once. this series details the spa/betterment/prettying procedures i've had the good fortune to experience. and the ones i'd rather cut myself than do again.

so kate's wedding is on the 23rd. and i've decided i'd like to lose 10lbs in the next 10 days. and to do that, i'm trying the master cleanse.

basically, my diet consists of lemonade and lemonade only. today is day two. yesterday went swimmingly but i often will go a whole day without eating. i just sometimes get busy and forget, which sounds ridiculous, but i more than make up for it with the copious amounts of french fries i consume in a month. not to mention the near constant eating out that i do.

so far i've learned two things: 1.) drinking salt water is gross and 2.) cayenne is more spicy than i thought.*

i foresee a reasonable amount of crankiness. i'm looking at a bag of plantain chips and wondering whether just two chips wouldn't kill me. i really really like food.

the only good thing about this is the timing. a lot of my friends are out of town this weekend so i hopefully won't be pestered to do a lot of socializing.

i plan to read the moyers book i started last month and to finally crack open gore's new book (which has been collecting dust since it came out).

all with a zen attitude and a whole lotta lemonade.**

*and it makes me sneeze, a lot.
**women are silly, vain and stupid sometimes, aren't they?

6 people who played with me:

Blogger omar said...

Ew. Women are indeed silly, vain, and silly. (They also have good memories, which is why I refuse to use the word "stupid" in that context.)

6/12/2007 11:33 AM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

there were a lot of laxative-ish descriptions. i hope you sit close to a bathroom.

6/12/2007 12:22 PM  
Blogger Neily said...

Gauging your physique from your profile picture you don’t need to lose any weight.

6/12/2007 2:16 PM  
Blogger Syar said...

I love lemonade, but it makes me thirstier in the end. So I'd have to keep drinking more lemonade, and more and more....

Ok, I can see how this would work. What's the function of the cayenne pepper anyway? Man, this master (almost typed monster) cleanse thing is a big thing, isn't it.

Please don't kill yourself trying to lose the 10 pounds. You are too fabulous to die by lemon-overdose.

6/12/2007 10:04 PM  
Blogger -G.D. said...

i have a friend who did that diet, went crazy, was totally miserable and only lost about 6 pounds.

you can lose that in about a week, if you have sex every night and one sensible meal a day.

6/12/2007 10:06 PM  
Blogger The Stormin Mormon said...

Going to agree that you don't need to lose any weight. It's not like I've got a ton to go on, but the info I recall (a dozen or so HNT pics) makes me think that you're doing all right.

That said, best of luck, as I don't expect my comment to change your mind (maybe just boost your confidence). I know that a wedding can be a horrific thing to have to prepare for. I have to be in a friends wedding next March in the Bahamas and I am already worrying about it.


6/13/2007 2:32 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home