Friday, July 09, 2010

online dating

oh y'all. this is a year of change for me. the year that i throw caution to the wind and do crazy things that feel oh-so-very-anti-virgo. that means, naturally, online dating. i date so little that my family thinks i'm a lesbian afraid to bring my partner home. and you know what? i let them think that because it's easier than saying, "new york is hard for meeting people" because it doesn't sound genuine coming from me. i meet people everywhere. i'm the most social of butterflies. but every time my grandma sees me in a photo with a man (which is usually any of my gays) she'll say, "oh, is that your fiance?" because they seriously think that i would date and marry someone without telling them. mostly because i never tell them that i'm dating someone, because i'm never actually dating someone. so you see the ridiculousness that occurs when my grandparents ask if i'm married. NO. I'M NOT MARRIED. I'D TELL YOU BEFORE THE CEREMONY, I PROMISE. IN FACT, I'LL PROBABLY INVITE YOU. IF YOU'RE NICE. 

ugh. but to be honest, i haven't met a guy in ages who has told me he's crazy about me, or even remotely interested, or even that i'm beautiful. and you know what? that's insane. i'm ADORABLE! and FUN! and have BOOBS!

my friends (all of whom mean well) think i'm not "putting myself out there" enough. that i'm too judgmental. too closed off. so to prove them wrong, i signed myself up on a dating site. one where it's more about the date than it is about the person. when someone says they'd like to see a magic show and try their hardest to be un-impressed, i'm all, "sure! that sounds fun!" i've proposed dates and let people come to me, and come to me they have. in herds, actually. and because this is the year of "who gives a damn?" i'm going to go out with as many of them as i have time for. sure i have my favorites, but i too often judge a book by its cover. and you know what? some of these guys are cute. or hot even. one of them showed up in my inbox and i thought, "that's the hottest man i've ever seen in my life," and then i died, and then i proceeded to e-mail his picture to all the gals/gays with a message that went something like "OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THIS MAN." 

so maybe this will be fun, even if it is completely terrifying. wish me luck ;)

6 people who played with me:

Blogger Syar said...

Jazz, if you are "not putting yourself out there enough", then the cave that is my social life is obviously deeper underground than I thought.

Glad you're having fun with online dating! :D

7/09/2010 2:22 AM  
Blogger jazz said...

Syar dear! I'm all over the place but I'm just never really open to dating. Someone will give me their number and i don't even remotely consider calling. Like, I'm just so lazy about it...

Your social life is beautiful! No worries!

7/09/2010 6:32 AM  
Blogger cadiz12 said...

i never would have found my guy if i didn't put away my pre-conceived notions and say what the hell, let's see what happens!?

i'm rooting for you! keep us posted. even if it's just about these fun date activities you're doing!

7/09/2010 12:46 PM  
Blogger omar said...

I'm not even your family, and I don't buy the "new York is hard for meeting people" story. You haven't dated because you didn't want to! And the perceptive guys can tell, so they save themselves the embarrassment of putting themselves out there and telling you how awesome you are.

Or you're a lesbian and afraid to come out. In which case, shame on you for thinking that would matter to us!

7/09/2010 11:19 PM  
Blogger omar said...

And good luck!

7/09/2010 11:25 PM  
Blogger jazz said...

cadiz: you're an inspiration on all things "meeting men online"

omar: you're right. i don't put out a "hit on me" vibe. i mostly put out the "don't bother me vibe" so the ones left hitting on me are the sleazy ones who see the vibe and don't care. the old slimy ones. the married ones with children. FML...

7/10/2010 9:32 AM  

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