online dating

oh y'all. this is a year of change for me. the year that i throw caution to the wind and do crazy things that feel oh-so-very-anti-virgo. that means, naturally, online dating. i date so little that my family thinks i'm a lesbian afraid to bring my partner home. and you know what? i let them think that because it's easier than saying, "new york is hard for meeting people" because it doesn't sound genuine coming from me. i meet people everywhere. i'm the most social of butterflies. but every time my grandma sees me in a photo with a man (which is usually any of my gays) she'll say, "oh, is that your fiance?" because they seriously think that i would date and marry someone without telling them. mostly because i never tell them that i'm dating someone, because i'm never actually dating someone. so you see the ridiculousness that occurs when my grandparents ask if i'm married. NO. I'M NOT MARRIED. I'D TELL YOU BEFORE THE CEREMONY, I PROMISE. IN FACT, I'LL PROBABLY INVITE YOU. IF YOU'RE NICE. 

ugh. but to be honest, i haven't met a guy in ages who has told me he's crazy about me, or even remotely interested, or even that i'm beautiful. and you know what? that's insane. i'm ADORABLE! and FUN! and have BOOBS!

my friends (all of whom mean well) think i'm not "putting myself out there" enough. that i'm too judgmental. too closed off. so to prove them wrong, i signed myself up on a dating site. one where it's more about the date than it is about the person. when someone says they'd like to see a magic show and try their hardest to be un-impressed, i'm all, "sure! that sounds fun!" i've proposed dates and let people come to me, and come to me they have. in herds, actually. and because this is the year of "who gives a damn?" i'm going to go out with as many of them as i have time for. sure i have my favorites, but i too often judge a book by its cover. and you know what? some of these guys are cute. or hot even. one of them showed up in my inbox and i thought, "that's the hottest man i've ever seen in my life," and then i died, and then i proceeded to e-mail his picture to all the gals/gays with a message that went something like "OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THIS MAN." 

so maybe this will be fun, even if it is completely terrifying. wish me luck ;)