Tuesday, May 04, 2010

new york weekends

oh, sigh.

all the weekends are starting to blend into one another. they all have a lot in common, quality gay time, lots of alcohol and so much laughing that my stomach hurts afterwards. i'm so thankful for the type of friends that will burst into song in the street, that quack at dogs, that make silly videos and have costume parties.

one of the gays claims i promised to show him my va-jay-jay when he said he'd never seen one. i was not drunk on the night in question and am certain i never said such a thing because, well, can't he just google that shit? so he went and found some other girl who said she'd show hers and before i knew it, i was out-pussied. 

a boozy brunch was had at choptank (where the food is excellent, by the way). also worth noting, the drink special they had the weekend we were there was eliminated a week later, everything cool gets ruined. it was a 2 for 1 special and i am secretly wondering whether we're the reason they got rid of it. we all had several rounds of two drinks, were talking loudly about how diarrhea was a pretty word and that we'd choose that when naming our children. we recounted stories from the night before and on the whole had a very NOT kid-friendly conversation, peppered with expletives which is the only kind of conversation worth having, if you ask me. from brunch we took a walk, ran into one of our favorite trannys who looks so busted during the day that it almost killed our buzz. from there we drank rose on the roof and once the boys had heard i'd missed the "very mary kate" party we went and watched every episode. twice. because you basically can't be friends with us anymore if you can't quote the shit out of all her episodes. we're like that sometimes. we also discovered this guy, who is amazing. we moved to a rodeo bar that had $3 mojitos and went around the table discussing our lowest sexual moments. i started racking my brain, trying to remember the worst and BAM! one hit me square in the forehead. i realize that i'd probably blocked it out for several years. it has to do with gavin degraw. that's all i'll say about that. but then, THEN, we headed to a tranny show to see our favorite: porsche. she is the best-est and she really sings so all other trannies seem so lame and blah next to her. and by the end, the tranny cocktail waitress had grabbed me to slow dance. 

colin brought a group of us to a party at the Norwood, a members-only spot that has more charm and less snobbishness than the soho house, so it gets a thumbs up in my book. it was a costume party and the theme was, "evening with the senator" and everyone dressed up in their best madmen era politician chic attire. at colin's suggestion (OMG YOU GUYS. check your macy's catalog. he's probably in there giving fashion tips. there's a cute little black and white photo of him and whatnot. he's famous), i wore a black dress and several strands of pearls. someone played chopin, the "senator" gave a speech that borrowed heavily from inspirational moments in movies, such as the fountain scene from Goonies. we met a couple who brought flasks with them, which meant they HAD to be our friends. her flask was dainty and fit perfectly tucked in my bra, which she then pulled out with her teeth. she's my soulmate! he was aussie and a soccer player. both the coolest. 

i don't think new york gets better than this. 

in other news, i'm switching professions! i think! well, trying to, anyways! details on that later. 

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