cows, faux leather, afghanistan, trillin, cano, trivia night, pro bono week

i cannot stop laughing at this. i've been wheezing away for some 20 minutes. the UPDATE! oh, you priceless update, you.

 

people will laugh at me, but i've had this insane NEED for black leather shorts. but since one would be crazy to spend money on black leather shorts i've actually been hunting for black faux leather shorts or a miniskirt. forever 21 was the obvious place for that. all this started when i saw charlotte ronson at a party in black leather shorts, black heels and an adorable leopard print silk tank top. i mean, something about the outfit sang to me. i feel crazy typing this out but it's all TRUE.

 

i've been on a bit of an afghanistan kick lately. as in, i cannot stop reading things about afghanistan. and you know what? those things are really damn depressing! that situation is worse than bad and then you've got all those numb nuts hooting about sending more troops there and how GREAT would a SURGE be?! hey, no. they need the memo that puts them on notice that the government over there? totally not into helping itself. we're already encouraging bad behavior. they're asking to fail. they make iraq look damn civilized and conscientious. it's a scary world folks.

 

agreed! except i'd add that it's now nearly impossible for me to want to be loved in any other way than the way calvin loved alice. oh, did he love alice. i want to be loved that way and ONLY that way. it would help if i were as cool/fun/smart/lovely as her too, i suppose. minor details.

 

still getting a million hits from ladies who want to know who robinson cano's girlfriend is. did nobody know thow the F the yankees were until playoffs started? or did they just not care. he's MY boyfriend. and we're REAL serious. like, he wanted to buy me a promise ring the other day but i was all, "baby, i'll wait for the real engagement ring but i appreciate the thought." except i said some of it in spanish 'cause i'm trying to meet him halfway, you know? that's why we work so well. neither of us know enough of the other person's language to get real nitpicky about what we've said to each other. also, we're too busy having sex all the time to even really talk at all. we could not talk, for hours. so yeah, he's totally into me and all and i'm one lucky bitch, aren't i?

 

went to this charity trivia thing last night. i have an awful memory for details so trivia is just not my thing. we happened to run into friend's of katie's boyfriend who are professional trivia players or something so they joined us. my friend's doctor boyfriend knew like most the answers which made me feel pretty good about the education of our healthcare providers. so anyhow, we were kicking ASS until the "final jeopardy" question that we could wager points on. we didn't know the answer. it was a ridiculous question whose answer was grover cleveland. but then my friend in her drunken state looked it up and blurted out "sesame street" so then we knew the answer. but do we use it? we went back and forth. used the answer but wagered 10 measly points. well, some other table of assholes looked it up and because they have no conscience, bet the farm and won. which  makes me think that being a scared cheater might be the worst fate of all. you have not only a bad conscience but nothing to show for it. so if you're going to cheat, cheat BIG i guess, is the lesson for the day.

 

it's national pro bono week next week which begs the question: what on earth doesn't now have a week devoted to it? my right boob doesn't. let's fix that. so anyways, free CLE credits during pro bono week and i'd be a fool to turn that shit down. CLEs are hella expensive. the bar association is such a racket, i swear...