watch your back jake

so a friend of mine met the "new jake" recently.

the lines he delivered to her were classic, surely used a hundred times already and promised to be used a hundred times more. of course he was shamelessly hitting on her! it's now his job to have a plethora of romantic exploits.

it is also his job to write about them in a nationally syndicated magazine.

"oh, he's so funny!" my friend coos. and with the low blow i say, "with looks like his, he has to be." the unfortunate thing is that he seems to write for a 4th grade audience. his posts littered with cliches (i always eat chocolate when i have a break up) and overused observations (friends with benefits are great, but then it gets messed up when one starts to have feelings for the other). deep.

this friend is slightly fragile having been through the ringer a bit as of late.

if this guy plays my friend for the sake of his column, i will cut his face off.

that's all, move along folks! nothing to see here but an overprotective and aggressive woman!