Tuesday, July 31, 2007

food for thought

if abortion were to be made illegal, what should the punishment be?

watch this video...

proud mama

a dear dear friend of mine from college has always been somewhat of a late bloomer/slow mover.

she literally didn't lose her virginity until she was 25. and, at least in my view, it was to no fault of her own. she's smart, charismatic, athletic, cute and funny as hell. it was always a mystery to me why guys weren't falling all over her. i think the problem was that she doesn't really exude sex. she's really the girl you meet at a bar and think, "she's the kind i bring home to mother." and a lot of guys in new york aren't looking for that nice girl.

she wasn't saving herself for marriage or anything like that. but on that rare occasion she'd find someone to hook up with, he'd be scared away by her virginity even though she was dying to lose it, just so she could get it over with and move on.

so, needless to say, she's never really had any serious boyfriends either.

and she's always been a bit prude. the one who cringes when she hears the word pussy or cock (sorry, to those who are now going to have this post blocked at work for the language). the one who turns red anytime she even refers to sexual activity. i've taught her how to give blow jobs and been her general (if infrequent) guru on all things sex.

she's started dating this guy. and things are going fabulously. and he's nice as can be. i get an e-mail today: "we have to talk. he's huge."

a tear nearly came to my eye. my little girl is all grown up!!

Monday, July 30, 2007

the simpsons movie and my future husband

whether it was because i'd had 4 beers prior to the move or whether it was truly that funny, whatever the reason, i laughed pretty hardily throughout this movie.

the reviews have been, by turns, glowing and dismal so i wasn't sure what to expect but i loved this movie.

even as i sit here typing, letting my memory of scenes flit through my head, i'm chuckling out loud with a large silly smile on my face.

it was pure goofyness and i loved it. the humor belonged in the "completely random" vein rather than, "biting political commentary."

future husband was in this weekend. we had a great time but i'm not sure it was so phenomenal that, at this point, i'd want to commit to some long distance relationship with him. as good a person as he is, he seemed so out of place in new york. he's more small town-ish than i'd realized; we may be just too different. time will tell...

Friday, July 27, 2007

to comment, or not to comment?

so zeke, the CEO, started a blog.

he sent me the link. i'm going to read it but it doesn't allow anonymous comments.

maybe i'll set up a new blogger account to comment with? maybe i should just not comment at all?

the perils of hiding a blog from friends. i was out with highcontrast the other night and we were in a large group and he said he hasn't kept up to date, asked whether i was posting much. i looked at him and gave him the, "bitch! not everyone knows about this place!" look.

good thing everyone else was too busy talking about anal sex or something to overhear him.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

your semi-weekly dose of colbert

the dorian gray reference two-thirds of the way in is gold.

being a woman sucks sometimes

as i was exiting the subway in a not so nice area of town this older black dude with white jeans and sunglasses says, "ooooh baby. you lookin fine!" as i pass.

and, like i always do when random men on the street catcall or otherwise degrade me, i ignored him.

he continues, "hey! i'm talking to you! you're not going to say thank you?"

and i keep walking. he's stopped completely

"ahh, i see! you're mute! that's good! because when i rape you, that means you won't be able to scream!"

for all those men who don't contemplate what it's like to be a woman, who have no understanding of the way that women are treated differently than men on a daily basis, remember this: you will probably live your entire life without being sexually harassed by strangers on the street. i have to listen to this shit every single day.

in other words, the "hey mama, i know you want my cock in your pussy" bit is getting quite old.

as are the little horn taps from gypsy cab drivers. and the kissy noises from the opposite side of the street. etc., ad infinitum.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

for what it's worth

this debate watching house party was staged. i was with these drinking liberally people the night of this debate at a bar...

bloggy rigmarole

i have about 60 blogs in my bloglines. about 15 of them are personal blogs which update once or twice a week. the rest are bigger ones that post upwards of 20 times a day. they're listed alphabetically but i don't read them that way, i do a lot of jumping around. and in randomly jumping around, i realize i subconsciously read them in just about the same order every single day without particularly meaning to.

i don't necessarily think anyone would be interested in what i'm reading and why. i just wanted to get myself to rationalize, in writing, why the hell i skip around like i do. to see if there's a method to my madness. so today i'm tracking what order i read them in...

in the morning, i like to feel newsy and informed. so first i'll skim the nytimes.

it seems i intend to start at the top of my blogroll...

a feast of crumbs (though a personal blog, it's easy, irreverent and updated several times a day).
above the law (legal gossip)
balkinization (expert essays on a variety of subjects, extremely thoughtful and informative)

then, for some reason, i always head to the bottom of the list and start selectively working my way up doing all the political blogs.

wonkette (d.c. political gossip, snarky)
tpm (josh marshall's political commentary, the ones who outed the AG scandal for what it was)
scotus (everything you need to know about the us supreme court decisions)
techpresident (follows political tech stuff)
politicker (local political news)
openleft (chris bowers and mat stoller's new place for progressive democratic discussion)
opencongress (tracking congress' much needed move towards transparency)
mydd (excellent progressive commentary/calls for action)
eschaton (brief commentary by atrios that always packs a sharp, thinly-veiled punch)
ezra klein (a cute boy who i met at a progressive bloggy event. everything i know about healthcare i learned from him)
daily kos (atrios refers to kos at "orange satan." it's very kos centered but still worth skimming, one of the first and most influential liberal blogs)
daily nightly (the amazing blog of my darling brian williams)

then the snarky gawker empire blogs and other gossip:

racked (nyc retail news)
curbed (nyc real estate)
jezebel (edgy and feministy)
consumerist (empowerment for consumers)
gawker (nyc gossip, media news, my sine qua non)
vulture (new york mag culture blog)
intelligencer (new york mag gossip blog)
superficial (celebrity gossip, hilarious commentary)

then the food blogs:

eater (nyc food/restaurant news)
grub street (ny mag food blog)
midtown lunch (guide for eating lunch in midtown)

these seem to be dessert, i always save them for last:

sartorialist (photog pulling people off the street, taking gorgeous photos)
gofug (hilarity)
dooce (my favorite. her writing is beautiful, her dog is adorable, her child is precocious)

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

spoiler-free harry potter post-mortem

the book was a pretty emotional one for me.

a good 4/5ths of it was so dark and gloomy that i found myself in an irritable mood all day sunday because i'd spent the morning in that darkness. i was depressed. is it normal for a story to have such an effect on someone?

i loved dumbledore. i really really did. i was happy to have had him be a big part of this book. i really missed him.

the end took turns i'd never imagined, which i loved. i was fooled by rowling a few times, so good on her!

obv, some characters died i didn't expect. some also lived that i had put a deathwatch on immediately after finishing book 6.

however, the last 20 page or so, the epilogue she stuck there, i absolutely could not stand. i thought it was cheesy and unnecessary and frankly, a bit over the top.

what did you guys think?

also, for a very charming list of obituaries for those characters who lost their lives in book seven, check this. spoilers, obv.

and on an unrelated note: the youtube debate last night was pretty cool. i thought this answer from edwards was perfect. it highlights something that makes a lot of people suspect about obama. obama talks so much of compromise but never talks about how, occasionally, compromise isn't the answer. there are some people who aren't going to budge, some people who don't want to work with you. people want to know that he's going to stand up to the few who refuse to work with him.

Monday, July 23, 2007

hedge fund palaces

my friend erika calls saturday morning, "the manager at the hedge fund where I'm temping invited me to a dinner party. you have to come with me." "why me?" i ask. "because you are my fun friend who gets along with anybody."

so there i am, playing the geisha girl again.

so we meet in union square and go into a luxury building. we step into his huge one bedroom apartment and notice everyone is out on his 2,500 square foot patio. his private patio. atop of which there are bushes and trees and a canopied bed with pillows all over it. there is also a private chef hired for the evening and a bartender who was stocked up with veuve clicquot rose champagne which, as the fine ladies of leisure that we are, we drank all night. and also which left us with massive MASSIVE hangovers sunday morning.

oh hedge funders, how do i love thee?

rather, i'm not sure i would have wanted to date any of the guys at this party. men get dangerous when you put too much money in their hands. or just outright annoyingly egotistical. witness this exchange:
"oh, did erika tell you where i'm going tomorrow?"
"um, no," i reply (wondering why the hell erika would ever think that i needed to know her boss' travel schedule).
"erika! you didn't tell jasmine where i'm going tomorrow?!"
"oh, i must have forgotten!" erika says as she turns to give me a "what the fuck?" look.
"well, jasmine, i'm flying to l.a. tomorrow to be a guest at the "welcome home" party that tom cruise, katie holmes, will smith and jada pinkett are throwing for david and victoria beckham."

and because i know i'm supposed to act impressed. and also because i've imbibed about $150 worth of champagne and am appreciative, i "oooh" and "aaahhhh" and act girly and say things like, "ohmygod! that is amazing! how on earth does one manage to get invited to such an event?!" laying. it. on. thick. to say the least.

turns out that money does make the world go round. apparently the hedge fund dabbles in producing movies and so the host knows tom cruise personally.

as we floated away from the apartment at the end of the night, high on the euphoria of good champagne with even better food we bid adieu to the host. "don't come back a scientologist if you can help it!" i say to him, wishing him well on his journey. and we exit the building to return to the place where the normal people roam. rose-less and sans curtained canopy beds under starry skies...

Friday, July 20, 2007

heaven part 2: in which i taste thai jewels

see here for part 1.

jean-georges is a bit of a celebrity in my book. see #15 on my 100 things list.

i've been to spice market a few times before. in fact, it is in the same building as the soho house (that god awful place where i used to cocktail), so all the employees shared an entrance. what i also wish we had in common? uniforms. spice market servers get to wear clay colored linen pants and airy cream linen tops. soho house attire? oxford shirts, ties, vests, ick, ick and more ick.

i went with 5 of my gay boys and we were sat in a tucked away little room that made us feel like we were in a private dining room with the restaurant all to ourselves. we were also hoping we weren't shoved out of view because we were too ugly. who am i kidding? me and the boys are beautiful. i'm sure they were just tucking us back there so the paparazzi wouldn't find us and disturb our meal!

our server was pixie-ish and lovely, the service was good (even though there were a few missteps). in lieu of bread they bring papadum to the table. we started with curried chicken samosas in that spicy indian yogurty mint sauce. next was cod on top of a tomato puree with me rice. for dessert, the elusive pichet ong thai jewels. i suppose they're not really elusive, it's just that in all my times there i wasn't informed enough to know that this is ong's most famous dessert there. it wasn't what i thought it would be but i'm always intrigued by textures. this was diced exotic fruit over a small puddle of slushy coconut milk. simple but interesting.

i would always highly recommend this place to anyone looking for a good meal. but make a reservation, it's always packed. as are all of JG's places...

Thursday, July 19, 2007

more on harry potter

alex balk (editor, gawker.com) cracks me up on a regular basis.

he may be one of the only men i think i'd sleep with sight unseen.

but he hates the harry potter. and gawker just killed off any commenter who voiced their addiction/love/whatever for the franchise, and i didn't speak up.

but this, a rewrite of the michiko kakutani review in the nytimes today, made me laugh out loud. enjoy.

heaven part 1: in which danny meyer buses my table

taking advantage of restaurant week here in new york involves strategy. many restaurants always do cheap prix fixe lunches or pre-theater dinners so what's the point of going when it's busy with people who don't know any better? Many restaurants aren't even worth the $35 you'll pay for a three course dinner. Getting resys at the ones that are worth it require calling one month in advance of the numerical date you'd like to dine.

many true foodies avoid it altogether claiming that none of a restaurant's best food is ever offered on the menu (you get two to three things to choose from for each course). that may be true. what is also true is that if a restaurant is good, whatever they're cooking, they're doing it well and it is almost always worth it for the price.

eleven madison park is probably my favorite restaurant in the city. i think it is meyer's best.

nb: meyer is also the man who brought to new york a chicago-style hotdog, even shipping in vienna beef dogs. and for that, i could kiss him. especially since i hear this year that they've finally FINALLY stopped putting lettuce on them, but i digress.

the room is large, bright and airy. the service is immaculate. i started with tuna tartare with slivers of steamed white and green asparagus, garnished with good olive oil and minced tricolored peppers. next was roast chicken. the skin was crispy and flavorful and it rested on top of fresh peas, a pea puree, diced morels and a morel puree. it was brilliant. last was my old standby, panna cotta with fresh berries and a macerated strawberry juice. it was accompanied by a gratis glass of moscato d'asti.

just as i was finishing i looked up at a man standing next to my table. he was taking in the dining room, standing confidently with a grin on his face, looking quite like a proud father at his daughter's college graduation. "he's good looking...and really tan," i mused, "and don't i know him from somewhere?" then it hit me, "oh my god, that's danny meyer!" at that point, he turned to look at me and asked how my meal was. i told him it was excellent and that i proudly restrained myself from licking any of my plates. "oh no! don't hold back! lick away!" he said as he took my dessert plates and flatware off the table. "thank you so much for coming!" he said as he scooted away with my dishes. so not only did i get a glass of free wine, but one of the most impressive restaurant moguls this city has ever seen just bused my table.

in all, it was lovely. i would eat there every single day if i had a few million dollars to waste away...

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

abstinence and ridiculousness

something my co-worker pointed out to me from the nytimes today:

“You have to look at why sex was created,” Eric Love, the director of the
East Texas Abstinence Program, which runs Virginity Rules, said one day, the
sounds of Christian contemporary music humming faintly in his Longview office.
“Sex was designed to bond two people together.”

To make the point, Mr. Love grabbed a tape dispenser and snapped off
two fresh pieces. He slapped them to his filing cabinet and the floor; they
trapped dirt, lint, a small metal bolt. “Now when it comes time for them to get
married, the marriage pulls apart so easily,” he said, trying to unite the grimy
strips. “Why? Because they gave the stickiness away.”

oh, all is lost! i've given away my stickiness! now i'll never be able to be in a committed relationship! woe is me!

phoning it in on harry potter

i was going to post about my feelings re: the last rowling book but am just posting a convo i had with peter about it yesterday instead. i am one lazy bitch, i know. but it's rainy and dark and dreary and i'm sleepy. does whining excuse the laziness at all?

me: life is good
jon stewart is back from vacay
Peter: i bet he missed you
it's not fair that your celeb crush is on tv almost every day, but mine is no longer even
on weekly.
me: is gilmore girls not on dvd?
Peter: true, true.
me: better than nothing darling
Peter: would you believe that i don't own a single season?
me: that is NOT devotion
Peter: hmm... i don't like you when you are right
me: it rarely happens
worry not
Peter: hee hee
i don't believe that for a minute
me: i'm practicing being modest
Peter: whatever for?
me: just to try something new
Peter: how is it working so far?
me: eh
getting bored with it already
Peter: get back to celebrating your awesomenicity
me: and for what it's worth
the only spoiler i've yet so far to deny myself
are the harry potter ones
i really really don't want to know
Peter: book or movie?
me: book!
Peter: i was just telling my cousin that i saw the first movie, and fell asleep during the second.
and i've never read a single page of any of the books
me: the books are really really very good
if you can make it through the first 100 pages of the first one
which move a little slowly
there's no turning back
and they get better and better
because rowling develops more as a writer really
Peter: an ex left her copy of the first book with me,so i may have to check it out
me: you should start
you'd love them.
this is going to sound awfully cheesy
but they're magical.
Peter: ok, that was cute
me: you really feel you're in a different world when you read them
i actually get depressed when i finish
that i have to come back
and that it's not real
Peter: awwwww.
me: v. strange behaviour for me.
Peter: i want to adopt you a little right now
me: HA
it's so true.
you must read.
they're awesome.
Peter: i have an addictive personality. this could be trouble
me: i'm jealous that you have them all to read still
like, i'll buy this one sat but i won't want to read it
because then it's all over.
do not want.
Peter: yet you can't wait, for fear of finding out too much from outside sources?
me: can't wait just because i'm dying to see how it ends
even though, obv, big characters will die
but i've lived through what i thought would be the worst one it left me sobbing
literally, out loud, making a fool of myself sobbing
at a starbucks on a saturday afternoon.
Peter: sometimes you are just a little jazz in a big world
me: it couldn't be much worse this time around.
that is so true.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

a midday announcement

to let you know there wasn't a clip of the conchords good enough to link this week. and yes, it's a shame.

also i'd like to complain that my statcounter is only registering like 2 visits a day this week. that is also a shame.

back to our regularly scheduled programming.

screening calls

so i got set up with this guy last week. he's cute (not hot), perfectly nice but an attorney (ugh).

i knew he was going to call so i've been screening my incoming calls.

this is annoying because i've been missing a ton of completely harmless calls like my lunch delivery guy telling me he's in the lobby, the jean-george restaurant calling to confirm my reservation, etc.

he did call yesterday though so i suppose i can start answering my phone like a normal person, knowing he won't be calling again and the ball is in my court for a couple days.

why do i feel like i want to screen this guy out? i'm not sure. maybe because i'm not all that interested and don't want to answer lest i have to firm up a time right away to get together. i am definitely going to give this guy a chance, he's worth at least a dinner date.

Monday, July 16, 2007

weird stuff in my hood

thanks to copyranter, check this shit out...

Ezra's genius

could not agree more with ezra. a statement both true and hilarious. well done.

"By-The-Numbers Book Reviews

The Unbearable Lightness of Being is something like 65% of the greatest book ever written and 35% of something you wrote for a freshman philosophy class and are now embarrassed of."


i spent the weekend with one of these. em and her boyfriend bought a miniature english bulldog puppy on friday before our trip to the shore. he's adorable. (i'll put up real pictures of their pup when i can get my hands on one, we took a thousand but not with my camera. my camera was sitting at home and, therefore, missed all puppy picture opportunities. curses!)

the shore was uneventful. and by uneventful, i mean absolutely relaxing. someone decided to rent ghostrider and nacho libre. neither of which i'd recommend to anyone. i think eva mendes is quite possibly the worst actress of our time. feel free to leave other "worst actress" nominations in the comments if you disagree.

this week and next are restaurant weeks in nyc. you can get three course prix fixe lunch ($25) and dinners ($35) at a ton of restaurants in the city at which you'd usually spend much more to get the same amount of food. the bad thing is that the options may be a bit on the boring side as far as the courses go (think chicken entrees). all the same, if the restaurant is good, the food will still be a bargain.

Friday, July 13, 2007

a menagerie of random thoughts

1.) not for nothin, but ever since the cleanse, my appetite has been non-existant.

i will go an entire day and forget to eat and think, "shit! i need to eat!" and grab soup or hummus on my way home.

kinda nifty...

2.) i have watched the rhymenoceros video about 200 times. i cannot get enough and i'm starting to worry for my own sanity.

3.) my whole body has been itchy lately. but i have no bug bites. i'm thinking it's psychological. whatever it is, i'm getting tired of trying to discreetly scratch my ladyparts or under my boobs or really, basically every inch of my body all day.

4.) i have developed an unhealthy obsession with soy milk. well, i suppose if it's soy, it's not all that unhealthy, but all the same it's all i want to eat/drink. i'm literally craving it 18 hours a day. it is very strange.

5.) i'm going to help my friend emily shop for puppies today. that makes me excited.

6.) i'm going to the beach this weekend. that also makes me excited.

7.) i have a babbo reservation for when future husband comes into town. i rule.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

i dare you

you watch this and tell me it's not the creepiest thing you've EVER seen.

i'm still shuddering. ugh!

more conchords

i'm sorry, this is hilarious. these guys are rocking my world. you can find full episodes on you tube (until hbo finds them and forces them off, that is). i'm going to keep posting these clips until i've brainwashed/hypnotized every one of my readers into watching them.

you are getting sleepy, veeerrrryyyy sleeeeepyyy.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

hot bartender calendar

so that guy in the picture here...

he worked with me when i was working at the soho house. hilarious.

i'm mainly just sad for him that he still works there and hasn't found a better gig. management over there sucks big time.

and not for nothing, but dan was not the best looking person i worked with. not by a long shot.

jaime mcadams is great looking. there were a half-dozen other pretty boys they could have chosen from...


if you are in new york you MUST MUST go see this.

most of you may not be familiar with the 1980 olivia newton-john movie about muses on roller skates.

it is one of those movies that is sooooo bad it's almost good. like showgirls, or barbarella.

i have to admit i haven't seen it yet. BUT i have friends who have and they are obsessed. also, the review in the times was titled " heaven on wheels, and in leg warmers." and a girl who i went to college with is the lead. and curtis holbrook is in it and he's going to be my husband if i can make him straight. basically, i'm willing to put down money on the fact it would be impossible to not enjoy this show.

i went to the opening night party last night and had the best time. flower bouquets were shaped like roller skates and had wheels and everything. the music was amazing and even the old people were up and dancing their bootys off. i don't remember much as i always get carried away when you put an open bar in front of me. i do know that i restrained myself from attacking curtis and that cheyenne jackson looks amazing these days.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007


please go see this movie.

as much as i follow local and national politics and have my own informed views on most the major issues, health care is the one issue that is expansive and intimidating enough that i've been reluctant to delve into it.

i've recently started reading ezra klein's blog and he focuses a lot on the health care system. so i'm learning, however slowly.

the thing about health care, however, is it is one of the ONLY issues that affects every single american. some women will never experience an unwanted pregnancy. most people will never have a family member sent off to iraq for the war (especially now that recruitment rates have hit an all-time low). most people are not poor enough to need the government's help. most people are not gay and are allowed to marry freely.

there is, most likely, not a single person in this country who has never gotten sick, who has gone their entire life without the aid of a doctor or medication.

moore's film is not about the millions of people who go without health care, which is a terrifying preposition in itself. it is about the millions of people who have health care and about how corrupt the system is. interviews with many people inside insurance companies talk about how they received bonuses for denying claims. a story of a woman who had a seven thousand dollar claim taken care of, only to have it retroactively denied because she had had a yeast infection in her past. A YEAST INFECTION. oh, and here's a flat out denial for any insurance policy because the man had heartburn.

people die. a ton of people die because they are denied care by the insurance company. and yes, insurance companies get to make these kinds of decisions because a doctor will not perform unless the doctor is sure he or she is going to get paid. so while you might be sitting there with cancer, waiting for chemotherapy, there is a claims person sitting in a cubicle in idaho telling you there is nothing the insurance company can do for you. and then that claims person gets a raise for it. people die this way, all the time.

moore also spends a lot of time in other countries showing us how well universal heath care works in every country that has it. the things you hear republicans saying on the t.v. turn out to be not so true. and not to rely on moore's interviews only, i've started asking my friends abroad about the health care system and they've verified every single item of moore's reporting, give or take a few details such as, "we have to pay for the ambulance," or "if you have to see a specialist, there is a small fee." with regard to waiting times, read this. if u.s. waiting times are low, it is not because our system is efficient, it's because so many people are being denied testing/services that there are so few people allowed to have that MRI and thus, less people to wait behind.

and like all moore films, he goes out of his way to prove the point he likes, without fully combating his counter-points. this makes his strong points look weaker than they really are. michael, don't make cuba out to be a fantastic place with great health care. make the point that as a quasi-communist country that stomps on human rights, even they take care of their own who are sick. don't make france out to be so perfect. the public's knowledge, however limited, of france's civil unrest taints the picture moore presents, whether or not it should. france is no better to their immigrants than we are to ours, their discrimination not too different from the discrimination that occurs here on our own turf. but france, even with its faults, still provides health care to its citizens. every single one. and let us not even get into all the paid vacation days they get in france, the unlimited paid sick days, the government provided nanny services, the 1 year paid maternity leave, and on, and on.

of his films, this is both the loopiest (it has many funny moments and his "i'm going to act all innocent and pretend to be shocked by this" moments abound) and his saddest (there were several parts at which i cried, others at which you laugh purely because you cannot believe the sad state of the system here, laughing is your only defense).

again, you must see this film. it is shocking. and we deserve and need to get upset enough to want to change the system. it is time that we started caring and informing ourselves on this issue. sicko is a good place to start.

Monday, July 09, 2007

sunday nytimes editorial

it is a must read.

we must put pressure on our congresspeople bring our troops home. now.

everything's coming up roses!

very eventful weekend folks.

saw evening (vanessa redgrave, claire danes, patrick wilson, meryl, toni collette, etc.). it was beautiful, but in a dark depressing kind of way. i did, however, find satisfaction in the ending. to me, it all made sense the more i thought about it. this will make no sense to you if you haven't seen it but drop a line to discuss if you have. oh, and patrick wilson (who has been loved for a long time amongst my theater dork friends because of his stint in oklahoma) is a beautiful beautiful man. i have a photo that was taken by a friend of him with tom cavanagh who i totally used to stalk (must tell that story soon!) from a broadway show league game.

saw perez hilton with bright orange hair at club monaco in soho. i secretly think that he may have gotten the host spot on the view. he said he has a massive announcement to make this friday. i very nearly accosted him to try to force me to tell me what it was. then i remembered that i don't really care all that much and it wasn't worth the effort.

saw angela, my masseuse and had one of the best massages in my life. she was working out the bug stress. boy did i need it...

saw patti lupone, THE PATTI LUPONE, the venerable broadway legend, sondheim extraordinaire, in her new role as mama rose in gypsy for the final dress rehearsal last night.

side note: me and the theater dorks are more than slightly obsessed with her. and you know, the gays love her. did anyone see the will and grace episode with her? it was amazing. i also made a special trip home to see her do an in concert version of sunday in the park with george at ravinia in chicago with michael cerveris and audra mcdonald who, btw, just replaced the black woman in that grey's anatomy spin off, but i digress.

SHE WAS AMAZING. YES, THAT DESERVES TO BE IN ALL CAPS. she made a ton of really interesting choices for the role and i loved them. it was like seeing the show for the first time (not the 10th). her comic timing is genius and she added a lot of humor into the role without losing any of the depth. it was brilliant. completely and utterly brilliant.

the audience was great too. it was full of industry people. memos went out to every broadway show telling them their casts have a free seat at the rehearsal if they want it. and because i know people and am always getting things for free and whatnot, i had a ticket. i'm gloating, i can't help it, i've been loving every second of my life lately, despite the bed bugs.

re: the bed bugs, the exterminator came. he was lovely. nice as all getout and extremely thorough though he regaled us with stories that almost made me sick. stories of seeing a bedbug crawling on a guy on the subway and how you can basically get them anywhere. it made me want to live in a plastic bubble for the rest of my life. so he said if we go a month without a bite, that the problem is solved. we've survived the bugs!

and the future husband has bought tickets out here. yay.

Friday, July 06, 2007

what color?

i'm an idol fan. i've watched pretty much every season but one. the one that fantasia barrino won.

so when everyone made a huge deal about fantasia coming to the color purple, i didn't care much one way or the other. i was the only one who didn't care. our friend is company manager for the show and my gays were downright harassing him about whether the rumors were true.

my friend brian, the talent agent, was digging for info amongst the industry folk.

and when the announcement was made, to much fanfare, all my friends decided they NEEDED to go. and because i'm a sheep, i went too.

i have to admit, the girl threw that shit down. she was pretty amazing. the acting was, at times, a tad weak but she was totally lovely in the role.

this show has had an interesting effect in that it's a magnet for black church groups. there was an article in the nytimes recently about how there are up to 15 buses a night coming in from as far as california who have come on in just to see this show. more than half of every audience are first time broadway attendees (which becomes painfully obvious when you hear all the candy wrappers opening and all the chatter during the show. ANNOYING).

we had a friend in the show so afterwards we all went backstage. apparently, it used to be more than just candy wrappers. the cast would come onstage for the opening song and they'd whisper backstage, "did you smell ribs? i think someone out there is eating bbq!" and sure enough, security finds that people have brought meals. into the theater.

who does that?!

at any rate, rib consumption has been curbed and i fully recommend seeing this show if you have the chance.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

watch your back jake

so a friend of mine met the "new jake" recently.

the lines he delivered to her were classic, surely used a hundred times already and promised to be used a hundred times more. of course he was shamelessly hitting on her! it's now his job to have a plethora of romantic exploits.

it is also his job to write about them in a nationally syndicated magazine.

"oh, he's so funny!" my friend coos. and with the low blow i say, "with looks like his, he has to be." the unfortunate thing is that he seems to write for a 4th grade audience. his posts littered with cliches (i always eat chocolate when i have a break up) and overused observations (friends with benefits are great, but then it gets messed up when one starts to have feelings for the other). deep.

this friend is slightly fragile having been through the ringer a bit as of late.

if this guy plays my friend for the sake of his column, i will cut his face off.

that's all, move along folks! nothing to see here but an overprotective and aggressive woman!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

more conchords

"be more constructive with your feedback, please."

what do YOU look like as a simpsons character?

this is kinda fun.

above is as close to me as i could get. the nose isn't just right but they had big boobs and asian eyes so i got close-ish...

Monday, July 02, 2007

sleep tight, don't let the...

so we have bed bugs. and though i've often said that i'd kill myself if we ever got any, i'm obv still here to tell the tale.

don't ask where we got them, we're not sure. our place is clean, we never bring furniture in from outside and neither of us sleep in other beds all that often.

we may have gotten them from another apt but i'm praying that's not the case as we'd likely just keep getting them back after the extermination. the owners and mgt company refuse to pay for an exterminator so that means i'll have to take him to court to get the money. i'm in the process of trying to organize my building to find out for certain who has them and who doesn't to see if i can compel a building-wide extermination.

prep for extermination requires washing everything you own, bagging it up tightly and emptying every piece of furniture you have. i am a clothes whore so this has been particularly tedious for me but it has forced me to do a long overdue, over haul of my wardrobe. my rule: if you haven't worn it in 3 years and if it isn't designer, toss it.

i got rid of about 7 garbage bags full of stuff. i'd also like to note that i tried long and hard to find some non-profit to take my clothes but nobody wanted to have to wash them. i was not feeling charitable enough to pay to wash them myself and haul all 7 bags back up to my 5th floor walk-up.

so i'm keeping about 15 bags of stuff, all of which i'm now stuffing into these sucky inny bags that i'm obsessed with at the moment. also, you don't literally have to wash all your clothes, it's the heat that kills bugs so throwing dry clothes in a drier for 10 minutes does the trick.

other tricks of the trade: rubbing alcohol kills bed bug eggs, spray everything you own with it. putting the legs of your bed in little dishes of baby oil will keep any bugs from climbing into your bed as long as it's pulled away from all walls/dressers and they can't climb in another way.

it's been the biggest pain in the ass and has been consuming, to say the least, but all the house cleaning has been therapeutic and i've been impressed with my own level-headedness these past few days.

at first i thought, "how could this happen to me?!" then i started hearing about more and more people who also have them. seems they've become a bit of an epidemic lately. a miserable, gross epidemic.